


Headstrong

by BlaineyDevon



Series: Headway 'Verse [9]
Category: Glee
Genre: Blangst, Brain Damage, Fluff, Headway, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-11
Updated: 2015-01-27
Packaged: 2018-02-20 16:51:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 78,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2435942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlaineyDevon/pseuds/BlaineyDevon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Loving Blaine won't always be easy, but it will always be worth it, because he'll love you back tenfold."</p><p>The evolution of how Kurt and Blaine grew from best friends to boyfriends to soul mates, learning how to merge two complicated lives into one. Prequel to Headway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kurt Thinks Too Much

Kurt was very, very nervous. His first date with his best friend was less than twenty-four hours away, and a jumble of confusing thoughts circulating through his head to the point where he could barely concentrate. He had agreed to the date after Blaine confessed his love to him, but as the date came closer, he only became more unsure of his own feelings.

He sat hunched over in his dark room, lit up only by the light of his laptop as he rested his chin on his drawn up knee. He hugged one arm around his leg, and the other mindlessly scrolled through the message board he was reading. In times when he couldn’t turn to his family or his friends to help him with the thoughts that floated around in his mind, he found himself turning to google. 

He had an admittedly embarrassing recent history with google. Stupid things that had included “decent tutors for brain damaged kids in this godforsaken town” and “what to do when your best friend asks you for sex” and “how to tell if you’re really ready for a boyfriend”. He had even once thought about googling the best condom brands, but had quickly backtracked. It was dinner. It would not end up there.

In the end, he wound up getting lost in a kind of support group forum for people who had loved ones with brain injuries of all kinds. It was insightful to read what these people had to say about taking care of someone who was recently injured, but no one seemed to have the same predicament as Kurt, who found himself maybe-sort-of-possibly-he-doesn’t-know having feelings for someone with an old injury. He didn’t know if it would be right to comparing it to falling in love with someone who had Down syndrome or autism, but sometimes it kind of felt like that.

Before Kurt knew what he was doing, he found himself creating an account on the forum and starting up a new thread. If anyone would have advice for him, it would be these people. Even if their circumstances were different, they had to have some idea of what he was going through. Taking a deep breath, he typed in a title.

_**I don’t know how to love him** _

He took a deep breath. He was being honest, and that was exactly how he felt. Closing his eyes for a second, he let out the air from his lungs slowly and began to type.

_**I am a boy who might have feelings a boy who has brain damage. He is my best friend. We became best friends a few months ago at school (we’re both in high school) and I knew something was wrong with him, but I didn’t let it stop me from getting to know him. It turned out he was in a pretty terrible car accident as a kid and it left him with some mostly permanent brain damage. Last week, he confessed to me that he loves me. I didn’t know if I could believe him at first. Honestly, because of the injuries, he’s not that smart and some days it’s like spending time with a small child in a young man’s body. But he proved to me that he’s smarter than I think anyone knows and he has true, real, human feelings. I told him we could go on a date, so he’s coming over for dinner tomorrow night and I’m really very scared at what is going to happen. I think I have feelings for him, but I’m scared of that. I’m scared that getting his hopes up only to decide it’s not going to work out will hurt him so badly. I’m scared of losing my best friend. I’m scared that I’m not ready to be in a relationship with anyone let alone him. But when I think of him, I get this feeling like maybe I’m truly happy for the first time ever. I’ve never been in love like this and I don’t know if it’s real, but that’s what he deserves. He deserves a boyfriend with real love, and I don’t know how to tell him maybe I’m not ready for that because really I’m not sure if it’s that I’m not ready for love or that I’m not ready to admit that I love him so much that it hurts and that I need him.** _

_**Most of all, I’m scared that he won’t understand this. I’m scared of what being with him will mean for my future. Our future. I don’t know what to do. Help?** _

With his fingers tingling from typing so fast, Kurt quickly posted it before he could think twice about it all, then shut his laptop. His room was dark suddenly, and all that was left for him to do was go to bed. It was impossible for him to sleep, his mind as busy as it was, which he knew. Still, he stripped off his outfit for the day and crawled under his covers, too distracted to even bother with his nightly routine. 

He stared up at the ceiling for a long while until he fell into the kind of sleep where it felt like his body was all dead weight and loose muscle into the mattress and his mind was fully of dreamy images both of how wonderful and how potentially devastating the date could be, but he was still consciously aware of himself. He stayed like that until he woke up that morning, forty-five minutes before his alarm was supposed to go off. 

With a sigh, he pulled himself from bed and went straight to his computer, which woke up to reveal the same webpage from the night before. Refreshing the page, he saw there were a dozen replies, mostly one sentence, completely unhelpful replies from unserious people or homophobic comments. But the last was a lengthy response from someone who seemed to know exactly where Kurt was coming from.

_**Hello,** _

_**When I clicked on this, I was expecting to see yet another person looking for a place to complain about how they can’t love their spouse anymore because the brain injury changed who they are and they’re no longer the person they feel in love with. Which I think is a load of BS. If you love someone, you love them. That doesn’t change. “Falling out of love”. That doesn’t happen. Not if you really know what love is. I met my husband fifteen years ago, and married him five years after that. We knew each other for two months when he had his accident at work, leaving him with permanent brain damage. I visited him in the hospital every day, I saw him at his worst, and then I visited him every day when he went home. We fell in love slowly, and he was the first to admit it. I had never thought about love until then, and I realized what I felt for him was the greatest thing I had ever felt.** _

_**I had many of the same fears that you have. Was I ready for it? Could I love a man who wasn’t as smart or complete or capable as “normal” guys? Could I dedicate my entire life to caring for someone who many never be able to take care of themselves? No, I wasn’t ready for any of that. But when I looked at him, I saw someone I was absolutely crazy about. A real person, a handsome man who loved me. Who was I to question that?** _

_**So I let it happen. I took it one day at a time and before I knew it we were getting married. I have never regretted it. It’s not easy. In fact, there’s not a day goes by where it’s easy. It’s a constant challenge, but if you love him, if the feelings are really true, you won’t have to question yourself. One day you’ll just know. Maybe not the first date, or the second, or the third, or the twentieth. But listen to him, and listen to your heart.** _

_**Best wishes,** _  
_**Happily Married for 10 Years** _

 

Kurt smiled a little as he finished the response, the closed his laptop once more. His eyes drifted to a framed picture of him and Blaine sitting on his desk. It was when Blaine went with the glee club to Sectionals a few weeks before. He was an official member of the club now, even though he never really rehearsed anything with the group and he didn’t perform at the competitions. He was just happy to have friends, and seeing that happy smile on his face whenever he made it to rehearsal was enough to make Kurt’s heart flutter a little with joy.

Tracing his index finger over Blaine’s smile, he felt himself smile as well while he spun himself around once in his spinny chair. Blaine was going to being smiling that great big grin of his that very night, and it would be because of Kurt. They were going to have a real date. Kurt’s very first date ever, and as far as he knew, Blaine’s too. 

He was still worried. Still so worried and confused and scared. But the random advice giver was right. He had to follow his heart, and he couldn’t expect to be in love with someone after only the first date. Maybe Blaine was sure he knew how he felt, but Kurt didn’t have to be the same. He would just have to make sure that Blaine understood that.

But all that could come later, because he had a long to do list for the day. After all, he would never pass up an excuse to go to the mall, and a first date was the perfect one.

……………………..

Blaine stood in his room as his Mama fixed the bowtie around his neck. He was wearing a yellow suit he had picked out from the store that Mama had only agreed to buy for him because he “looked so handsome in it”. Apparently only he could look handsome in something so bright, but he liked the color. He hoped Kurt would, too. After all, it was Kurt he was trying to impress!

He reached up to touch his slicked back hair, unused to the stiff sticky feeling of gel in it. 

“Blainey, don’t touch,” said Mama. He immediately dropped his hand to his side and watched her adjust his jacket and smooth out his shoulders. She almost seemed more nervous than he did.

“Mama what, why you nervous?” he asked curiously. She looked up at him, then let out a breath through her mouth and let her shoulders fall and relax. Her eyes were kind and happy, the way he liked to see them. 

“I’m only nervous because my handsome young man is going on his very first date. I wasn’t sure this day would ever come. I’m just so happy for you.” And then she was hugging him, tight around his shoulders, her body a warm, solid comfort against him. He hugged her back tight, letting the embrace anchor him in the moment.

“I’m so happy, Mama. I love him and I just, I really, I hope that he can feel the same,” confessed Blaine, pulling back from the hug. He didn’t want to let his worry overcome his happiness, but it was bubbling in the back of his mind.

“Don’t be disappointed if he doesn’t tell you he loves you tonight,” she told him, bringing a hand up to cup his cheek in her palm. Blaine nodded once, feeling a little sad that he would have to wait for Kurt to say he loved him back. “It might take some time, and you have to be patient. You might be patient for a while and realize you don’t love him as much as you thought, and he may realize he only likes you as a friend. Those things happen. But as long as you go and have a wonderful time, you should try to stay positive, okay?"

Blaine nodded. Daddy had given him a similar talk a couple nights ago. He knew they didn’t want him to get hurt, but he also had a feeling deep in his heart that Kurt would never hurt him. Why else would he love Kurt so much if it wasn’t so that Kurt could return the feelings someday? He didn’t really understand why it was so complicated, but then again, he didn’t really understand a lot of things the way people thought he should.

A long time ago he had learned to just do what he was told and go along with the flow of things, and that was what he was doing then. Kurt wanted a date, so he would go along with it. He would let everyone get excited about him experiencing something “normal” people did. Although that was mostly Mama. She got really excited when things like this happened.

At last, she finally stopped fiddling with his suit and handed him the bouquet of yellow and red roses he had picked out on the way home from the store that morning. He felt his heart flutter as he thought of how Kurt would smile when he saw them.

“Alright. Ready to go?” she asked him. Blaine nodded. “I’ll drop you off at Kurt’s, and Daddy will come pick you up when you call. Got your phone?”

Blaine patted his jacket pocket where he put the (stupid, complicated, headache inducing) device. It was just a simple flip phone, and he was getting better with it, but he still hated it sometimes.

“Good,” said Mama. She gave him one last quick hug before grabbing her car keys. It was time for Blaine to go on his very first date with Kurt. 

He followed her out to the car and slid into the passenger seat. As soon as he was buckled in, he suddenly sank into the seat and stared out the window with wide, almost panicking eyes. The nerves had finally hit him.

……………………………

Kurt prepared a menu that fit neatly into Blaine’s dietary requirements, and made the entire house smell delicious. There was a homemade low fat cheesecake cooling in the fridge and a roasted chicken warming in the oven over a bed of vegetables. It smelled better than Thanksgiving dinner, in Kurt’s opinion, and getting his family out of the house was harder than pulling teeth. Getting Finn out of the kitchen alone had required the promise of even more food from Rachel, and getting Burt away from his son had taken a lot of convincing and some promises of things Kurt didn’t really want to think about like at all from Carole.

But ten minutes before Blaine arrived, Kurt was finally alone. He wore his new outfit and went around the dining room lighting candles. He had taken the inserts out of the dining room table to shrink it down so that it was just big enough for two, and set each place up perfectly. At first he wondered if it was worth it to go to all this trouble for Blaine, who sometimes barely sat still long enough to eat a meal and wasn’t exactly well-versed in fine dining etiquette. But at the same time it wasn’t like Blaine was a child, he could appreciate all of Kurt’s hard work just as well as anyone.

After adjusting the place mats half a dozen times, Kurt decided to pull the chicken from the oven and set it on the table, and after a few more minutes, the table looked perfect. It was going to be the perfect first date. Now all he needed was his date.

Glancing at his watch, it was one minute past when Blaine was supposed to arrive. For one irrational second, Kurt wondered if maybe Mrs. Anderson has misheard him when they were arranging the day and time, and had thought Kurt was going to pick Blaine up. Two more anxiety filled minutes passed while Kurt toyed with the idea of calling Blaine’s mom to check and see.

Then, just as he was about to press call on his phone with a trembling thumb, the doorbell rang. He jumped, then took a deep breath, hurrying to the front door. Smoothing his hands over his front one last time, he opened the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As most of you probably know by now, this fic deals with Blaine suffering permanent effects of a traumatic brain injury. I am not a medical doctor, but I will do my best to continue to be accurate to the best of my ability and do right by Blaine in this story. Some of the opinions spoken or written by characters in this story are not always ones that I share, I'm just attempting to show an accurate representation of how people can and often do think. This is a multi-chapter fic that will cover everyone's lives up until chapter one of Headway. I hope you enjoy it :)


	2. Kurt and Blaine's First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Blaine go on their first date, Kurt thinks too much, and Blaine is endlessly patient.

The door opened to reveal Blaine standing there by himself, an almost hesitant smile on his face as his whole body shook from nerves. He was in a spectacular yellow designer suit, with a navy vest under the jacket, and his hair was tamed with gel. He looked stunning, nearly taking Kurt’s breath away. Kurt had always known that buried under that messy mop of curls and goofy smile was a gorgeous boy, but standing in front of him now, Blaine was the most attractive man that Kurt had ever seen.

“Um. Hi,” said Blaine, shifting a little under Kurt’s gaze. His eyes glanced down Kurt’s body and back up, and he bit his lip as his hand clenched tight around the bouquet of roses he was holding. He extended the flowers out toward him. “These are, they, for you.”

Kurt smiled wide and happy as he peeled Blaine’s fingers from them and lifted the flowers to his nose, inhaling deeply. “Oh Blaine, they’re lovely.”

He stepped aside, clutching the flowers to his chest and motioning for Blaine to enter. Blaine glanced behind him for a moment, then hurried inside. As Kurt moved to shut the door behind him, he recognized Mrs. Anderson’s Honda driving away. Turning his back to the closed door, he smiled at Blaine standing there awkwardly, as though he hadn’t been to Kurt’s house a dozen times by now.

“I made dinner,” said Kurt, like it wasn’t obvious. Blaine glanced down the hall, then gave a little sniff of the fragrant air, and smiled.

“Smells good,” he said, then put a hand over his tummy. “Hungry.”

“Good,” said Kurt. He took a deep breath, then reached for Blaine’s hand, sliding their palms together and twining their fingers. “Okay?”

Blaine nodded.

“Let’s go put these in some water, then we can sit down to eat.” Kurt led him into the kitchen, then released his hand while he rummaged around in a cupboard for a vase. 

Blaine stood perfectly still, watching Kurt like he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be doing or if he was supposed to say something. Kurt held out the flowers to him, and Blaine’s eyes widened in a panic for a moment.

“No! No, I mean hold them, please. No, I’m not. Giving them back, or anything. Just, hold them. Please?” Kurt immediately saw the panic disappear as Blaine slowly reached out to take them from him, holding them tight in his hand. Hurriedly, Kurt filled the vase with water, then took back the flowers and set them inside, rearranging them until they looked perfect. 

“The yellow ones, they mean you’re my best friend. The red, they, the red ones mean I love you,” said Blaine, so softly it was almost a whisper. He looked down at the flowers, tracing his finger over one silky flower petal as he spoke. Kurt felt his heart melt a little.

“They’re beautiful,” said Kurt, reaching out to brush his fingers against Blaine’s, the way Blaine sometimes did when he wanted to show acknowledgement, but he didn’t really know what to say. Blaine smiled softly and his eyes flitted up to look at Kurt, who could see the nervousness in his expression.

He slid his fingers to twine with Blaine’s again, then led him into the dining room, where everything was set up perfectly and dinner waited for them. Kurt panicked a little, hoping nothing had gotten too cold, but steam still rose in little wisps from the chicken. He dropped Blaine’s hand and pulled a chair out for Blaine.

“You did this, all this for me?” asked Blaine, looking around, a little bit in awe of the candles and the set up on the table.

“Of course I did, silly. It’s our first date. I wanted it to be perfect,” said Kurt, tapping his fingers a little on the back of the chair, hoping for Blaine’s approval.

“I, it’s perfect. So, it’s beautiful,” said Blaine, only he wasn’t looking at the table settings when he spoke. His eyes were locked on Kurt, and Kurt could feel his cheeks grow warm under his gaze.

He was still so unused to having someone look at him like that, he wasn’t sure what to do about it. Part of him kept thinking _this is so weird it’s Blaine your brain damaged best friend_ and the other part of him countered with _but he’s so handsome and kind and sweet and look at how he looks at you, you could totally get used to that_. The blush burned a little as he ducked his head, the gestured to the chair. Blaine sat down slowly, and Kurt tucked the chair in a little before going around the table and sitting across from him.

“I made chicken and veggies, and cheesecake for dessert. I hope it’s okay?” Kurt asked nervously as he began to carve off a chunk of chicken breast for Blaine.

“Yummy,” said Blaine. “I like chicken. And veggies, but only ‘cause Mama says I have to. They’re, it’s good for, for my brain. And stuff. I have to stay healthy. Mama says.” 

“Well, I agree with what she says. It’s important for everyone to be healthy and when you cook things right, almost anything can taste good.” Kurt put some of the chicken on Blaine’s plate and split up half the vegetables. Blaine’s eyes looked over the plate in a way that gave away how hungry he was, but he politely kept his hands tucked in his lap.

“I bet you’re the best cook,” said Blaine, giving Kurt a little smile. 

“Why don’t you try it?” asked Kurt, gesturing to the plate. Blaine took the encouragement and reached for his fork, just going for it. It wasn’t like eating in front of each other was something new, they had lunch together every day at school. Kurt watched Blaine take the first bite, and almost laughed at the way his eyes lit up. He chewed quickly and swallowed, then sat up in his seat, wiggling a little as he leaned a little toward Kurt.

“It’s good!” said Blaine enthusiastically. He grinned, then went in for another bite. 

Kurt watched him eat for a few minutes, giving him some time to satisfy his hunger first. He knew Blaine well enough to know he wouldn’t be able to hold a conversation until he did. Kurt ate without saying a word for a long while as well, until the silence started to become awkward. When Blaine was halfway through his meal, he set down his fork and looked up at Kurt. 

“This is weird,” said Blaine softly. Kurt raised both eyebrows and swallowed quickly, about to say something when Blaine spoke again. “I just, not sure what to do. Don’t know how to…”

He looked nervous again, his hands resting on the edge of the table and his fingers twitching, dancing on the smooth surface. 

“It is a little weird,” confessed Kurt, although he figured he found it weird for reasons different than Blaine. “But it’s our first date. It’s the first time either of us have been on a date. We just…talk. Eat, and talk, and get to know each other.”

Blaine blinked at him.

“I eat, now we talk? About what? I already know you. You’re Kurt. I know you’re smart, and nice. You’re nice to me. That’s a lot,” said Blaine. 

“That is a lot. But there’s a lot we don’t know about each other. Little things, like favorite colors and movies and stuff. Hobbies and things like that. Our lives before we met each other. What we want for our futures. We know enough about each other to be best friends, but people like to date until they know the other person better than they know themselves. Usually by then you can really tell how much you like someone,” explained Kurt. He could see another flash of confusion in Blaine’s eyes, and then he remembered. Blaine already thought he loved Kurt, so he didn’t need to date him to realize that. Kurt took a deep breath. “I just want to do it right, you know? I want to take our time.”

“Because you want, you’re not sure you love me,” said Blaine. He didn’t look hurt, and he didn’t speak accusingly. He just looked at Kurt like he wanted to understand, then he gestured to his forehead. “Is it because of my…?”

Kurt’s first instinct was to reassure him that no, he would be like this even if Blaine was “normal”, but even Blaine couldn’t be fooled so easily.

“Yes,” admitted Kurt softly. “And no. Honestly, I would want to date any boy who I liked before I decided to be serious with him. But you’re special, Blaine. And not in a bad way. You need someone who’s really going to see how worth it you are, and who’s really ready to commit to caring for you. It’s not that I don’t think I could do it, I just want to make sure it’s the right thing. Does that make sense?” 

“It does,” said Blaine. 

Silence fell between them once more for a few moments as Blaine picked up his fork and began to eat again. Kurt didn’t have much of an appetite anymore, and just when he was about to say maybe this date thing wasn’t working out, Blaine spoke up.

“Blue,” he said. Kurt furrowed his brow a little, confused. Blaine chuckled a little and ducked his head. “My favorite color. It’s blue.”

Kurt took a deep breath, then let it out as he smiled. Blaine’s little laugh was so cute, it made Kurt’s chest swell with feelings he wasn’t used to having.

“Mine is green,” said Kurt, his cheeks warm with a blush. Blaine sat up straight in his seat and smiled happily, and Kurt decided to try to spark up the conversation from there. “Do you have any hobbies? You know, things you like to do when you’re not in school?”

Blaine seemed to think for a moment, then he shrugged a little.

“I don’t, not much, really. Just play the piano sometimes. Help Mama around the house when she wants. And naps. I sleep. School, it, I get tired easily. When you come over, I have to, I sleep for a long time. I used to play. I had a dog. Service dog. Her name was Ella. But I had to give her up. When I went, I moved to Dalton. Mama, and Daddy, they thought it would be for longer. And I couldn’t take care of her, not by myself so, they, they took her. Gave her to a little girl who, she was blind.” He paused and took a deep breath, like speaking so much exhausted him. 

Kurt felt his heart fill with sadness for the boy across from him. He reached a hand across the table and wiggled his fingers. Blaine seemed to get the message and slotted his hand in Kurt’s as he looked at him sadly.

“You’ve had a hard life,” said Kurt softly. “I’m sorry you had to give up your dog. I’m sure she meant a lot to you.”

“I had her for a year. I was on a list, but it took, it was a long time to get her. I was lonely at school, so I got to have her. She was my only friend. Mama was thinking of trying to get me another dog, but then I found you,” said Blaine, looking up at Kurt with innocence and hope in his eyes. 

“Well, I’m glad and honored to be your friend, and I’m so happy I made you feel better. You deserve it,” said Kurt, giving his hand a squeeze, then rubbing over his knuckles with his thumb. He was tempted to ask Blaine if he had any happy memories in his life, but he couldn’t. Ever since the day he met Blaine he had sensed an overwhelming sadness in the boy.

Blaine looked down at their hands, a sweet smile tugging at his lips and wiping away any trace of sadness. Kurt’s heart did another one of those pounding swoops in his chest. He was still so unused to being able to effect someone in that way, to be the source of their happiness in a positive way.

“I know how you feel, a little bit. There were times people didn’t treat me very nicely either because of things I couldn’t help, but I kept plugging along. I found the glee club and made some friends and realized just how much I love performing. That’s what helped me. But before you, I hadn’t really known what it was like to have a best friend, so thank you. For coming into the choir room to play the piano that day,” said Kurt. He gave Blaine’s hand another little squeeze, then pulled away, resting his both hands in his lap.

He glanced at the plates on the table. Blaine’s was mostly empty, and his own was about half empty. It had been as delicious of a meal as he had hoped, but the conversation and nerves had left him without much of an appetite. He breathed in and out slowly through his nose, then looked up at Blaine.

“This was nice,” said Blaine. “Thank you. I like, the talking is nice. Was it a good date?”

Kurt smiled, then laughed a tiny bit before saying, “Best date I’ve ever had.”

Blaine grinned proudly, not looking like he got that this was the only date Kurt had ever been on, and that there was nothing to compare to. Kurt didn’t say anything, though, letting him have his little moment of personal triumph.

“Is it over now?” asked Blaine, glancing down at the table like Kurt had done a few moments before.

“It can be, I guess,” said Kurt with a shrug.

“We went on a date, and it was good,” said Blaine matter-of-factly. “Does that mean we can be boyfriends now?”

Kurt stared at him, caught off guard by the question. His heart thudded rapidly in his chest, silently screaming _yes yes yes say yes be his boyfriend he’s perfect_. But the rational part of him knew this wasn’t something he could dive into. He had to start at the shallow end and work his way in. He knew Blaine understood that, but it didn’t stop him from behind hopeful.

“Maybe…just…can I think about it? I just need some time.” Kurt looked away, not wanting to see the disappointment on Blaine’s eyes. No matter how many times he had been told Kurt loving him back wasn’t a sure thing, Blaine could still hope.

Except, Blaine wasn’t really disappointed at all.

“Okay,” said Blaine. Kurt glanced back at him to find him just watching him with a curious expression. “Even I know I, that I can’t force you. Just. You know how I feel. I can wait for you.”

“You are the sweetest guy in the world,” said Kurt. Blaine smiled and ducked his head, blushing a little. “You deserve the best. I just have to make sure I can give you that. But until then, best friends?”

Blaine nodded. “Of course. Always.”

“Good,” said Kurt. “I guess our date is kind of over now. You maybe want to stay for a while and just hang out? Like best friends?”

“Yeah. I’d like that. A lot,” said Blaine. 

Suddenly, without the pressure of it being a date, the two of them seemed to relax immensely in each other’s presence. Blaine helped Kurt clean up from dinner, and they were able to talk a little more freely. They eventually had their dessert, and it was a wonderful way to end the evening. All along, though, Kurt couldn’t help but think maybe his mistake had been in assuming he could do things the normal way with Blaine. Maybe, like everything else, a relationship would have to be custom made to fit the two of them. It was just one more thing to have to consider. 

……………………………

Later that night, after Blaine had gone home, Kurt was lounging in the family room watching TV when his dad and Carole returned from their own date night. Carole greeted him quickly before heading upstairs to dress down and shower, while Burt went into the kitchen to grab himself a beer before settling onto the couch beside Kurt.

“You shouldn’t drink that. Your heart,” Kurt said. It was a canned, hollow warning by now. He knew his dad was healthy enough to handle the occasional light beer. 

“How’d it go with Blaine?” asked Burt, completely ignoring Kurt as he opened the can and took a sip.

“It was great, when we decided to hang out after the actual dinner date. Before that it was just…awkward. Stifled, I guess. We were both trying too hard. I don’t know if it could work out between us. We do so much better as just friends. I don’t want to risk losing that. I really care about him,” said Kurt. He pulled his legs up and hugged his arms around them, resting his chin on his knees. 

“I think it’s a smart move,” said Burt with a nod. “You’re young. You shouldn’t burden yourself with having to take care of someone like that. It’s fine that you want to help him and befriend him, but unless you’re absolutely sure, I don’t think you should do it. For one, you could really hurt him if you commit, then back out because it’s too hard. And for two, you could really hurt yourself by committing to something you’re not ready for. At your age, you shouldn’t be committing to anyone or anything, except maybe which college you want to go to.”

“I don’t know what I want. But I think I want to keep dating him until I do. I just don’t know how he’s going to take it,” said Kurt. “That’s the problem. I don’t know how he’ll take any of this. He’s so…simple. His heart tells him he loves, so he trusts in that. His brain doesn’t know how to make it complicated. It must be nice.”

“I don’t think anything that kid has gone through is nice,” said Burt. Kurt bit his lip and nodded. 

“True,” said Kurt.

“Look, kiddo, you gotta trust your gut. The heart is a blind organ. It can’t see beyond the here and now. That’s why people make so many promises they can’t keep, because they follow their hearts and they can’t see what those promises really mean. If you were to ask me, I would tell you I don’t think you’re even remotely mature enough to be considering this. You gotta think about it from both sides. On one hand, you’d be his boyfriend, and do all the boyfriend-y stuff that comes along with that. But on the other hand, you’d be his caretaker, which is not an easy job. You don’t see many nurses marrying their patients.” Burt took another sip of his beer and looked over at Kurt, who was staring off into space as the gears turned in his mind.

“Maybe I need to see if I can take care of him first,” said Kurt. “I can help his mom. Learn everything he needs. Then I can see if I’m up for it.”

Burt looked unsure, but gave a shrug anyway and sipped his beer again.

“Whatever you gotta do, Kurt. Just so long as you don’t get hurt,” said Burt. 

“Thanks Dad,” said Kurt, smiling as he leaned over to give the older man a quick one-armed hug before getting up from the couch and heading upstairs to his room. It had been a long day, and he felt like maybe now he could get some sleep. He shouldn’t have been surprised when he closed his eyes and instantly began to dream of Blaine.

……………………….

Blaine had finished washing his body and his hair, and was enjoying the last few relaxing minutes of his warm bath before Mama would knock on the door and tell him it’s time to get out and dry off. This was his favorite part of the day, where he didn’t have to think about anything and he could just let the warmth surround him and let his muscles go slack and he could just rest. And after, when he got out, he would feel so clean and happy it would be easy to fall asleep. 

He needed it, especially after the day he had. Spending time with Kurt was the best thing ever, and their date had been really nice. Although Blaine didn’t know why they needed a special day set aside for dinner and talking, since they could do that any time. But Kurt thought he needed to call it a “date”, so Blaine let him. It hadn’t seemed very productive, though, because when he went home, Kurt was still just his best friend and they were exactly where they were when they started.

For all of his limitations, Blaine wasn’t dumb. He knew what Kurt’s problem was. He knew that Kurt was afraid of having to take care of him. It was a big job. Sometimes even Mama got overwhelmed with him. He just wished he knew how to fix himself so that he was easier to love. 

A knock on the bathroom door made him sit up, and it opened halfway to reveal Mama standing with a stack of clean underwear and pajamas. She smiled when she saw that he had finished bathing on his own and that she wouldn’t have to sit with him while he finished. She set down his night clothes and grabbed a big blue fluffy towel and held it out for him while he stepped out of the tub. 

“So are you going to tell me how things with Kurt went?” she asked curiously. 

“It was okay,” replied Blaine, standing on the floor mat and wrapping the towel around him to dry off. “We ate and talked. Kurt likes me, he said so. But he’s afraid, he, taking care of me is scary, I think.” 

“Well it’s a big job, even for me and Daddy,” said Mama, reaching into the tub to pull the plug so the bath water could drain out. “These things complicate relationships. They shouldn’t, but they do. The best thing we can do is provide Kurt opportunities to explore his curiosity about them and show that it’s not so hard.”

Blaine nodded as he quickly pulled on his underwear, then brought the towel up to his hair, squeezing it gently in the material to get the water out. 

“I think I will, I’ll just keep, I’ll be his friend. You said, patience. I can, I’ll be patient,” said Blaine. He finished drying off the rest of him and began to get dressed. 

“That’s very grown up of you.” Mama handed him his clothes and allowed him to get dressed by himself, even though it took longer that way. 

Blaine shrugged. “I love him. Love is a grown up feeling.”

She smiled, that happy proud smile she gave him when he said things that she thought were very smart. Blaine decided not to spend any more time thinking about it tonight, when it was all up to Kurt now anyway. He just focused on getting ready for bed, because all of a sudden he found himself swaying on his feet from exhaustion. Mama noticed and was instantly there to hold him up. She helped him brush his teeth, then get into bed. By the time his cheek rested on his cool pillow, he was fast asleep.

…………………………..

The rest of Kurt’s weekend was busy, and by Monday morning he trudged through the halls of McKinley High, clutching his mocha in two hands. He made his way to his locker, resisting the urge to vomit at the sight of Rachel in front of her locker, attached at the mouth to Finn. He took a drink of his coffee and opened his locker, pulling out his books for his first two classes. 

After stowing them in his bag, he looked in the mirror at the back of his locker, making sure his hair looked as perfectly as it did when he left the house. Behind him in his reflection he could see the familiar figure of Blaine approaching him, looking entirely too happy for so early in the morning. 

“Hi Kurt,” said Blaine, stopping right by his side and smiling up at him.

“Hey you,” said Kurt. 

He shut his locker and looped his arm through Blaine’s, hurriedly walking him away from the gross, wet smacking sounds coming from Finn and Rachel. Blaine followed obediently, hugging Kurt’s arm tight. Once they were far enough down the hall that they couldn’t see or hear Finn and Rachel, Kurt released Blaine’s arm and leaned against a wall, sipping his coffee and smiling almost coyly at Blaine.

“So,” Kurt began. “I really enjoyed Saturday night.”

Blaine’s eyes lit up in surprise before he replied, “Me too!”

“I did a lot of thinking this weekend, and I decided that I really care for you, but I’m not ready to put a label on this. Whatever this is between us,” said Kurt. 

He didn’t know what he expected to see in Blaine’s expression just then. Maybe hurt, pain, disappointment. Instead he found Blaine looking a little deflated, but with eyes full of understanding.

“I can’t promise I’ll ever get there, where you want me to be, but you’re so special to me. I was thinking maybe we could go on another date sometime? Something more exciting and more special this time,” suggested Kurt. 

Blaine thought for a moment, working something out in his head before giving Kurt a little smile and a nod.

“Alright. But this time, we plan together,” said Blaine. 

“You got yourself a deal,” said Kurt, smiling as he leaned forward, wrapping his arm around Blaine’s shoulders to pull him in for a hug. Surprised, Blaine stiffened before he hugged back. Kurt didn’t miss the way he melted against Kurt’s body like he belonged there. 

Above their heads, the warning bell rang, telling them to get to class. They separated and Kurt offered his arm to Blaine once more, and Blaine wrapped his around it. Together, they walked together to their first class. For now, they stayed best friends, but Kurt couldn’t deny that Blaine was already getting under his skin in the very best way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know in canon it's Blaine that's a little (a lot) oblivious, but in this verse it's Kurt. Let me know what you think :)


	3. Blaine Has an Episode

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt still battles with his feelings, and Blaine's condition gets the best of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. Had midterms this week, which I did extremely bad on. I'll be over here crying in a corner. Please enjoy this chapter.

Their second date had been set up for the next Saturday. They had planned on a beautiful afternoon picnic in the unseasonably warm January weather, but just as Kurt was packing his delicious turkey sandwiches into his picnic basket, his phone began to ring. It was Blaine’s mother calling to tell him that Blaine couldn’t make it to their date because he wasn’t feeling well. Of course Kurt had been disappointed, but knew there was nothing he could do.

He didn’t hear from Blaine for the rest of the weekend, and by the time Monday rolled around and Blaine wasn’t at school, Kurt began to worry. Blaine only missed school for two reasons: if he had a doctor’s appointment, or if his head hurt so bad that he couldn’t function. Kurt knew for a fact that he didn’t have a doctor’s appointment, so the worry set in. 

Kurt tried not to think about it much, but it was still on his mind almost constantly. Blaine had never been forced to stay home for more than a couple of days before, and Kurt just convinced himself he would see Blaine the next day.

Except Tuesday Blaine didn’t come to school either. 

Kurt didn’t know for sure what caused Blaine’s headaches, only that sometimes he got them if he was upset about something, and others he got them for no reason at all. Kurt couldn’t help but wonder if maybe it had been because of him. Maybe it was his indecision that had upset Blaine so much to keep him bedridden for four days. He worried that the very thought of going on a date and being rejected again by Kurt had pushed Blaine over the edge into a horrible, painful episode. 

As the day went on, Kurt found himself fretting more and more. He hoped that Blaine would show up to each class they had together, but he knew there was no chance of that as the day went on. Kurt went home that afternoon and couldn’t stop thinking about what if Blaine was in pain because of him and how could he sleep at night knowing it was a possibility.

On Wednesday, when Blaine was still absent from school, Kurt could no longer contain his worry. He fidgeted and fretted through all of his classes and by the time the final bell rang, he ditched glee club and drove straight to Blaine’s house. When he arrived, he contemplated either knocking or ringing the doorbell, then ended up just settling on one quick push of the button, hearing the _ding-dong_ chime from inside. Nervously, he shoved his hands in his pockets and waited as he heard footsteps. 

Jack Anderson opened the door. Blaine’s father was a tall, handsome man, built wide and muscled, with brown hair and blue eyes. He in no way resembled Blaine, but gave most of his looks to his elder son, Cooper. Kurt hadn’t seen him smile too many times, but the tired, hardened look in his eyes seemed to lighten considerably when he saw Kurt standing there, as though he had to remind himself that Kurt was not someone who needed to be scared away.

“Kurt, hey,” said Jack, leaning against the door.

“Hi, Mr. Anderson,” said Kurt. “I noticed Blaine wasn’t at school today. I just came to check up on him, to see if he’s okay.”

“He’s asleep right now,” said Jack. “He’s had a bad headache for a couple of days, and he’s just recovering today. You could stick around for a little while if you want, maybe see if he wakes up soon. I know seeing you would really make his day.”

Kurt nodded. After worrying all day, he found himself almost desperate to see Blaine. He followed Jack inside, trying to keep his nerves to a minimum.

“Can I get you something while you wait?” asked Jack. He was a polite man by nature, asking even though Kurt had been a guest in the house so much it was like his second home by now. 

Kurt declined and opted to just wait it out in the family room, where the television was turned onto some sport Kurt had no real interest in watching.

“Thank you for coming.” Jack joined him, sitting in the recliner and reminding Kurt so much of his own dad in the afternoons after work. “We’ve never really talked, just the two of us before, so I’ve never got the chance to thank you for being Blaine’s friend. He’s never had someone like you before. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen him this happy.”

“It’s no hardship being his friend. It would be difficult to find someone more kind, loyal, and genuine than Blaine,” said Kurt softly, not looking up at the other man. “I’ve been worried all day that my not telling him I want to be his boyfriend is the reason why he stayed home. I came to check on him, but mostly to just say yes. To tell him I’m ready. I don’t want him to be upset anymore over me.”

Jack stared at him for a moment, then let out a little bark of laughter, his eyes dancing with amusement. 

“No offense, kid, but you don’t have _that_ much influence over Blaine,” said Jack. “Not yet, anyway. As far as he’s concerned, his feelings are on hiatus until you’re really sure it’s what you want. He got a headache because we were watching some action movie together and something upset him and I couldn’t talk him down soon enough.”

Kurt looked up, then let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. He relaxed a little, his shoulders sagging. So he hadn’t hurt Blaine like he thought. In a way, he hadn’t really hurt Blaine at all.

“Listen, when it comes to Blaine, there’s just one thing you gotta know.” Jack leaned forward in his chair, resting his forearms on his knees as he looked at Kurt seriously. “The only person who truly understands what goes on in that head of his is him. If you try to understand it, you’ll drive yourself insane. If every time he starts to get a headache or something you convince yourself that you’re the cause, you’ll never have a happy life with him. That separation of your personal, intimate relationship and the reality of his condition, it’s crucial. Otherwise, it will never work. Ever. So I really mean this when I say it, but do not tell Blaine that you’re ready to be in a relationship with him.”

Kurt stared at the older man, surprised that he would discourage him. He was even more surprised at the disappointment he felt. After thinking about it constantly all day, he had convinced himself he really was ready. 

“Come over again this weekend and stay the night, help us take care of him. It’s the part of him you haven’t seen yet, so you should,” Jack suggested.

“I…I would love that, actually. I’ve been meaning to ask if I could.” Kurt gave a little smile, showing his willingness.

“We’ve always wanted Blaine to find a boyfriend, Viv and I have. But we’ve been thinking of what to do if that ever happened. We know relationships aren’t always permanent, but with Blaine, he can’t have people coming and going in his life. He can’t stand it, really. So with him, you’ve got to be sure you can play both roles. It’s a lot for a guy your age to take on,” said Jack, expressing some of the very same concerns that Kurt’s dad had several times now.

“I know. I’ve been through it a thousand times in my head. My dad keeps telling me someone my age shouldn’t be even thinking about committing to something like this. To someone like Blaine. But…but he’s so special. I can see that,” said Kurt sincerely. 

Blaine’s father looked at him for a moment, studying him. Then nodded and sat back in his chair, relaxing a little. There was silence between them for a moment as Kurt’s mind churned with thoughts from their conversation. After a little while, Kurt glanced back up at Jack.

“Mr. Anderson, if I may, how did you react when you found out he was…you know, gay?” asked Kurt softly.

Jack blinked, cleared his throat, shifted, then sighed. 

“When he was thirteen he asked me if he could like boys because he thought they were pretty. What could I tell him? No, Blaine. You’re not allowed to think boys are pretty. That would have been cruel. I just told him yes, that was okay, and never said another word about it until he came to me a few weeks ago asking for advice about you,” said Jack. He shook his head once, then laughed at something he must have been thinking.

“That was very kind of you, to just accept him like that,” said Kurt.

“Kind? It was the least I could do after all the shit he’s been through. Who am I to deny him love when he gets so little to begin with?” 

There was silence then between them, leaving the question out in the open. Kurt could tell the other man had wrestled with the question in his mind, but he also found himself surprised by how much it applied to him as well. He looked away, staring blankly at the wall. He cared about Blaine, but he wouldn’t go so far as to say he loved him. It was much, much too soon for that. 

“Kurt?” a soft voice startled him from his thoughts, drawing both his and Jack’s attention. They both looked up to see Blaine in the entrance of the room, looking rumpled and small in his pajamas, his hair a frizzy mess and his skin paler than usual.

Kurt smiled when he saw him, his heart thudding in his chest.

“Hey you,” said Kurt. He stood up and crossed the room, mindful of Blaine’s father watching as he opened his arms and welcomed Blaine into his embrace. Blaine instantly melted against him, his arms around Kurt’s waist and his cheek pressed against Kurt’s neck. Kurt shivered at the feeling of Blaine’s warm breath against his sensitive skin. 

“Hi Kurt,” said Blaine softly, squeezing him a little tighter before backing away. He looked up at Kurt curiously. “Why you here?”

“I was worried when I didn’t see you at school all week. I missed my friend,” said Kurt, smiling at the way Blaine dipped his head and brought a hand up to rub at the back of his neck. It was absolutely adorable, and Kurt never wanted to do anything to take that look on his face. 

“I missed you too,” said Blaine. “I was sleeping, lots. It was, my head hurt bad. ‘M sorry I missed our date.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Kurt assured him. “We’ll make up for it soon. Right now all you can do is focus on getting better.” 

“I am,” said Blaine, smiling. “Much better now, now since you’re here.”

“Yeah? Well. How would you like it if I came over this weekend and stayed the night with you?” asked Kurt, laughing softly at the way Blaine’s eyes widened instantly and a grin spread over his whole face.

“Yes yes yes!” Blaine said happily. Kurt glanced over at Blaine’s father in his chair, who looked mildly amused at Blaine’s reaction. 

“I still have to make sure it’s okay with my dad, but if he says yes, then we can spend the whole weekend together,” said Kurt, his voice full of promise. 

Blaine seemed to brighten considerably after that, and Kurt knew he couldn’t leave as soon as he had planned. He ended almost until his curfew, just sitting with Blaine and reading to him from their school books, watching the way his face filled with color and livened up again, just from Kurt’s presence. The affect Kurt had on him was amazing, and Kurt was quickly being pulled in. He wanted to give in, but he knew he had to wait. 

The weekend couldn’t come soon enough.

…………………………

It took some convincing for Burt to let Kurt spend his weekend sleeping over at the house of the boy who was very clearly interested in him in more than just a platonic way. Kurt promised his dad that it wasn’t that kind of sleepover, and that the purpose of him being there was to help his parents take care of Blaine. He wasn’t there to be “inappropriate”, as his father had accused. He was there to learn, observe, and be a caregiver, not a boyfriend.

Finally, Burt let him go, and Kurt found himself driving to Blaine’s house once more. He wasn’t nervous at all. In fact, he had hoped that by the end of this weekend he might confidently be able to say he was ready to further his relationship with Blaine. As he drove, he could feel his heart fluttering in his chest with each breath he took. He found himself anticipating the joyful way Blaine lit up every time he saw him, and the warm feeling of Blaine being close to him.

He almost felt spoiled knowing there was someone who cared for him so much, and he wanted to wrap the boy up in his arms and tell him _yes Blaine I’ll be your boyfriend_. When he pulled into the Anderson’s driveway and parked, he felt himself bursting with confidence.

Grabbing his overnight bag, he hoisted the strap over his shoulder and walked up the pathway to the front door. Smiling, he rang the doorbell twice, then nearly jumped off the porch in surprise. The sound of someone screaming met Kurt’s ears, followed by a thud and then something shattering. Then there was yelling and a few more thuds before the sound of the lock on the door clicking as it was opened rather harshly by Blaine’s mother.

“Hi Mrs. Anderson,” said Kurt, giving the woman a hesitant smile. 

Vivienne Anderson usually looked as joyful as a mother raising a teenager like Blaine could be. She seemed eternally hopeful and optimistic, her brown eyes always alight much the same way as Blaine’s. She was a tiny woman with a big personality, and Blaine was almost her clone. 

Except right now she looked terrible. Her black hair was piled on top of her head in a messy bun and her eyes looked dead tired, with dark rings around them. Her lips were pulled into a tight line as she leaned against the doorframe, looking up at Kurt.

“Kurt. Hi. Look, now’s not really a good time. Blaine’s sort of in a bad mood,” she said, cringing at the sound of another _thud crash_ in the other room, followed by what sounded like Blaine shouting at something. Kurt tried to look past her worriedly, but she closed the door a little bit, leaving it only open enough for her to stand there.

“But I’m supposed to help take care of him tonight. To see if I can,” said Kurt. He kept trying to look around her when he heard muffled voices from inside the house.

“That’s very nice of you, admirable really, but not tonight. Blaine isn’t well. You shouldn’t have to see it. Goodbye.” Viv was about to close the door on him, but Kurt stuck out a hand to stop it from closing.

“With all due respect, Mrs. Anderson, I care about Blaine. Probably in ways I don’t even understand yet. I’m going to see him at his worst eventually. So why not now?” Kurt met her eyes, trying to show her through his expression how sincere he was in this.

After a few long seconds, her shoulders sagged and she let out a sigh. 

“Fine.” She stepped aside and allowed him to enter. “But. If I tell you to go home at any time tonight, you’ve got to do it. It could be for Blaine’s and your safety.” 

Kurt nodded, hoping it didn’t come to that as he stepped inside. Now that he was in the house, he realized the voices were coming from upstairs. He could hear the murmurs of someone talking, then a quick shout before another thud. From behind him, Viv closed the door and locked it.

“Blaine woke up moody. Sometimes he gets these episodes where he just…loses it. All we can do is let it run its course. Jack thinks it’s the hormones. He doesn’t have any good outlets for his, anything really. But it’s the aggression that sort of just blows up.” Viv cringed as they both heard another thud. 

Kurt felt a little bit of fear beginning to bubble up inside him. Blaine was normally the sweetest boy on the planet, and Kurt couldn’t imagine him having an ounce of anger or aggression in him. This would really be a whole new side to Blaine that he had never seen before. Suddenly all the confidence he had when he arrived seemed to be disappearing.

“Should I…can I see him?” asked Kurt hesitantly. Viv looked apprehensive as she hugged her arms around herself, then she gave him a single nod. She looked like the stress of the day was taking its toll on her, and Kurt felt worried again. Would that be him someday?

Kurt took a deep breath, set down his overnight bag and walked over to the stairs. He paused at the bottom and looked up. The noises seemed to pause for a moment, before he heard the distinct sound of Blaine’s father speaking in a raised voice, which was then followed by a sound that was between a scream and a growl, which was very clearly from Blaine. Kurt forgot to worry about himself when Blaine was so upset, and he hurried up the stairs, taking them two at a time, then followed the voices down the hall.

Blaine’s bedroom door was half closed when Kurt got to it, and he paused for a second to listen to the voices inside.

“Blaine, come on. You need to calm down, buddy. Just take a deep breath and come here,” said Jack, trying to stay calm. Kurt could see him standing a few feet from the door, blocking his view of Blaine.

“No!” Blaine cried. His voice was different, like that of a petulant child instead of the sweet boy that Kurt knew. “No no no no no! Go! I don’t, no!” 

“I know you’re upset, but you gotta calm down,” said Jack, sounding slightly irritated as he lost his patience.

“No!” Blaine cried again, and there was another _bang thud_ as something hit the wall, causing Jack to dodge to the side.

“That is enough! We do not throw things in this house!” Jack raised his voice slightly, and Blaine let out another unintelligible cry at the sound of it. 

Kurt couldn’t stay out any longer. He pushed open the door and stepped inside the room, surprising Blaine’s father, who looked like he was about to warn Kurt not to come in any farther. But Kurt had a one track mind, and he just looked around Jack to see Blaine on the floor beside his bed, curled up with his knees to his chest and his hair fisted tight in his hands. He was visibly shaking as he sobbed into his knees.

“Oh Blaine…” Kurt said softly. He crossed the room without a thought and dropped to his knees beside Blaine. He didn’t touch him, not yet, not knowing how Blaine would react.

“No,” whimpered Blaine. Suddenly he struck out at Kurt, slapping him hard in the chest before scrambling to his knees, grabbing his nightstand to pull himself to his feet, then pushing the table onto the floor, sending everything that was on it flying through the air. Kurt shielded himself on instinct, then watched as Blaine tried to stumble over him, not even really seeing him there. 

Kurt reacted without thinking. He reached out and grabbed Blaine’s ankle in both of his hands, then tugged him backward before he could try to run away. Blaine cried out and stumbled back, landing half doubled over on the edge of his bed. Kurt pushed himself to his feet and quickly snatched Blaine’s arms in his hands, holding them tight as he forced the other boy to face him.

“Blaine, stop,” said Kurt, forcefully but without raising his voice. 

Blaine stopped struggling and looked up at him. His eyes were dark. The usual honey hazel had faded into near black as he stared up at Kurt. His lips were drawn tight, his nostrils flared, and his cheeks were splotchy red from crying. Kurt could feel the anger radiating from every coiled tight muscle in his body.

“Kurt,” said Blaine, spitting his name like Kurt was the last person he wanted to see. “Kurt, go. Kurt go, leave, go.”

“No,” said Kurt. He gripped Blaine’s arms tighter in his hands, no doubt leaving marks around his biceps. “No I won’t. I won’t go. Not when you need to calm down.”

“Go!” Blaine yelled, right in Kurt’s face, so loud his ears rang for a nearly a full minute after. 

Kurt did not go, though. He stayed, staring Blaine down until he had to look away, his muscles bunching up under Kurt’s hands as he struggled to pull away. Kurt finally let him go, and Blaine pulled himself up onto his bed, curling up in a ball and sobbing into his hands. Sitting beside him, Kurt glanced at Blaine’s father, who stood in the doorway ready to intervene, the gently placed his hand on Blaine’s trembling side.

“Blaine, honey, what’s wrong?” asked Kurt softly, rubbing his hand up Blaine’s back to his tight shoulders. Blaine answered by crying harder, sobbing unintelligible words into his hands. Kurt looked up at Jack. “Mr. Anderson, do you think I could have a minute alone with him?” 

Jack hesitated, then nodded once. “I’ll be right outside.”

Kurt mouthed a thank you, then turned his attention back on Blaine.

“It’s just you and me now, sweetie. Can you tell me what’s wrong?” asked Kurt as gently as he could. Blaine answered not with his words, but by shuffling closer and pressing his body against Kurt’s, huddling into him as he cried.

Blaine kept crying for longer than Kurt knew anyone could possibly cry. His sobbing diminished quickly, leaving him just a quiet, sniffling mess for nearly an hour before he fell quiet, his head shifting to rest on Kurt’s thigh. Kurt gently ran his hands through Blaine’s tangled curls, feeling them damp with sweat as the boy trembled beside Kurt. Eventually, Kurt leaned down to try to look Blaine in the eye.

“Hey you,” he whispered. Blaine’s eyes blinked open slowly and he let out a little frustrated groan. He brought his hand up to his head, trying to grab at his hair but instead finding Kurt’s hand there. Kurt slipped his fingers between Blaine’s squeezing them before lowering their hands to rest by Blaine’s chest.

“Kurt…” Blaine whimpered softly. 

“I’m here, honey. I’m here,” Kurt promised. He kept petting over Blaine’s hair with his free hand for a few minutes. “Wanna tell me what’s wrong?”

Blaine didn’t answer right away, but his hand tightened around Kurt’s painfully. He gripped it so hard that Kurt was sure he would break a few of his fingers, but he didn’t pull away. When Blaine finally released it, they both let out a long breath.

“Sometimes,” Blaine said. He paused for a long while. “Sometimes I, I get so, so mad. It’s just. I dunno why. It just happens, all of a sudden. I’m. I get. I wanna break stuff. And I wanna be alone. ‘Cept now. I wanna be with you.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” said Kurt softly, still petting Blaine’s hair. “Are you still mad?”

“Yes,” Blaine answered immediately. His hand dropped to the bed, fisting in the blankets until his knuckles turned white. His body began to stiffen again, all the muscles coiling tight. Kurt continued to soothingly run his fingers through his hair.

“Wanna talk about it?” asked Kurt. 

“Why am I like this?” Blaine asked through gritted teeth, gathering more material of the blanket in his tight fist. “Why do I get like this?”

“I don’t know. I’m not really sure how your brain works,” Kurt answered honestly. Blaine squeezed his fist event tighter together, then relaxed his hand as he let out a long, slow breath. 

“I can remember,” said Blaine. “I remember being normal.”

It took a moment for his words to sink in, for Kurt to realize what Blaine meant by “normal”. Kurt felt his heart thud in his chest, aching empathetically for him. He couldn’t imagine how horrible it must be for him, to remember what it was like before the accident. To remember his sharp mind and his quick intellect. Kurt had heard all the stories. For a boy of eight, Blaine had been brilliant. Smarter than most of his classmates, yet still popular among them. 

Once able to read at a level expected of kids twice his age, Blaine could now barely get through the material kids were given in second grade. He had been so full of energy then, but able to contain it and direct it into his school and after school activities. Now, Blaine would get hit with bursts of energy where he could barely focus on anything, followed by a sudden crash where he was so exhausted he slept for twelve hours straight. The only thing he seemed to have retained was his ability to play the piano, although if he was given a piece of sheet music, it all looked like a jumble of dots and lines to him.

It was one thing to have lost all those abilities, but to remember what it was like having them? Kurt knew that if it had been him in Blaine’s place, he probably wouldn’t have been able to get out of bed every day with that sense of loss. Suddenly it made Blaine’s angry outburst not seem so bad.

“Oh Blaine,” said Kurt finally. “That must be terrible for you.”

“It’s so…” Blaine closed his eyes for a moment, and didn’t continue. At first Kurt thought he had fallen asleep, but then he shifted and reached for Kurt’s hand again, this time holding it gently. “I remember that I, these big books, I could read them. But I don’t, can’t remember how. Just that I did. And I remember concerts, on the, the piano. Playing in front of people. I remember always, I always knew the answers. In school. I always raised my, my hand. Now it’s just. I want to but…and I did. When I went back. I went back after the accident and, and I, I try. I would say I knew, but I didn’t, I couldn’t. I didn’t know anything. Everyone, the kids, they laughed. I didn’t know. I didn’t. I don’t. I don’t know why. Kurt. I don’t. Tell me why. Why I remember?”

Blaine’s free hand went up and fisted in his hair again as his breathing grew rapid. He looked to be on the verge of tears, and Kurt just wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into his lap, holding Blaine tight. Much to Kurt’s surprise, though, Blaine didn’t give in and cry. He took a deep breath and held it in until the urge passed.

“I don’t know,” said Kurt softly. “You know, if you were still like that, you’d probably too smart to be my friend. You probably would have graduated already and off being some crazy young genius in college or something. I never would have met you and then I wouldn’t have my very best friend.”

When Blaine didn’t answer, Kurt feared that perhaps he had said something wrong. He was still working out what was a sore spot for Blaine and what he could joke about freely. Today had shown him there really was a lot more to Blaine than he understood.

“You would have the others,” said Blaine, looking up at him. The angry, unrecognizable darkness in his eyes had faded, and now he just looked very tired. Kurt gave him a little reassuring smile.

“It wouldn’t be the same,” said Kurt. “They’re my friends, but they’re not you.”

Blaine blushed a little and ducked his head, smiling as he leaned into Kurt’s body. They sat quietly for a few minutes, and Kurt could feel that all the tension had flowed from Blaine’s body at last, and he was relaxed in Kurt’s arms. 

“You okay?” asked Kurt, rubbing his hand up and down Blaine’s back, just trying to reassure him.

“Mhmm,” hummed Blaine.

“Can you lay here for a bit while I go tell your parents you’re okay? They’re probably really worried about you,” said Kurt softly. Blaine nodded again and Kurt slowly shifted him back onto the bed and shifted so he could stand. His legs were asleep after sitting there for so long, but he didn’t mind the discomfort. He just kept reminding himself that whatever pain he felt was nothing compared to Blaine’s.

Kurt made it to the door before he looked back to the bed, seeing Blaine sort of propping himself up, looking on the verge of sleep. Kurt smiled and headed out of the room and downstairs, to where Blaine’s parents were sitting at the table in the little breakfast nook of the kitchen, both of them clutching steaming cups of coffee and chatting quietly.

“Hi,” Kurt said quietly, not wanting to surprise them too much. Viv turned her head first, instantly standing when she saw him, her face morphed into a worried expression.

“Is he okay? We didn’t hear anything, so we thought we’d just wait for you to get us,” said Viv, her hands coming together anxiously.

“I got him calmed down. He talked to me. It was…it was enlightening. I think he’ll be okay. He’s pretty sleepy now,” said Kurt. He put his hands in his pockets, not sure what came next. He was supposed to aid in Blaine’s normal routine, which he wasn’t completely sure of, and this was anything but a normal night for the Anderson family, that much was clear.

“Good. Okay. Good. If he’s not asleep yet, he’ll need his bath. He takes one every night,” said Viv. She glanced back at Jack, who gave her a single nod, communicating something to her silently, then she looked up at Kurt expectedly. “You’ll help with that. Since you wanted to learn.”

Kurt nodded, willing to help with anything at this point. He followed her back upstairs to Blaine’s room, where he was just teetering the edge of being awake. Viv asked him if he wanted his bath, and Blaine seemed enthusiastic enough. Both Kurt and Viv helped him to his feet and into the bathroom, and then she was giving Kurt instructions before he even realized fully what was going on.

“Left for hot, right for cold. He likes it on the hot side, but have him test it about halfway full and adjust. Shampoo and conditioner are there. Usually if he’s low on energy like tonight he’ll need help with that. Mostly you just need to make sure he does what he needs to do. He loses track of time easily. Then if he needs help, you’ll have to dress him. He usually does it himself, but tonight he’ll probably need you. You’ll have to undress him too, probably. If you need anything, anything, I’ll be just in the other room. Just…shout or bang on the wall or something.” She was almost out the door, leaving them alone, before Kurt could finally speak.

“Wait. You…want me do this alone? Like. Get him naked?” Kurt squeaked. His cheeks were already blushing bright red at the thought. Kurt had never even imagined anyone he knew naked before, not really. Yet here he was, about to undress the boy he maybe possibly had feelings for at his mother’s request.

“If you want to do this, you’re going to have to get used to it. I see Blaine naked more often than I see my husband. You’ve got to separate caretaker mode from boyfriend mode. Think of it as a job. Do you think you can handle it?” Viv looked at him, almost challenging him to say he couldn’t do it. 

“Yes, I think I can,” said Kurt with as much confidence as he could muster. Viv simply smiled in reply and left the bathroom, closing the door behind her. 

Kurt took a deep breath, trying to compose himself. So he was a teenage boy about to undress the boy he was probably-definitely attracted to, who could blame him? 

Once he felt sufficiently under control, he put on a smile and turned to face Blaine, who sat on the closed lid of the toilet, looking up at him drowsily. Kurt leaned over him and turned on the water, testing it until it was hot enough, then standing up straight and looking at the boy in front of him.

“You help me?” asked Blaine softly, looking a little confused.

“Yup. That’s what it looks like, doesn’t it? Just you and me tonight. Just us, in here. Getting ready for a bath.” Kurt laughed awkwardly, feeling his cheeks burn even more red as he just stood there in front of Blaine. 

Blaine stared at him for a moment, looking a little amused before he pushed himself to his feet. He swayed a little forward, and Kurt instantly reached out to catch him, his hands grabbing him firm around the waist. His blushing only seemed to intensify when he felt Blaine solid under his hands. 

“Does this, does it make you, are you uncomfortable?” asked Blaine softly, his voice low and soft and his warm breath so hot and close to Kurt’s neck.

“What? Me? Uncomfortable? No way. We’re not even boyfriends. That’s silly. Now let’s get you ready for your bath,” said Kurt. 

He gave Blaine a somewhat shaky smile and moved his hands down Blaine’s sides to the edges of his shirt, then began to pull it up. Blaine lifted his arms to help him get it off, and then Kurt was standing with a very shirtless and very attractive boy in his arms. Blaine’s skin was a couple shades darker than Kurt’s, leaving him with a slight golden glow to him. He was smooth and soft with slight muscles in his chest and abdomen, and he had very lovely arms. 

Nothing about him was helping Kurt’s blush at all, but he just took a deep breath and moved on. He brought his hands around Blaine’s front, to the waistband of his pants. Blaine looked up at him, and covered Kurt’s hand with his. 

“I can, if you want. You don’t, don’t have to,” said Blaine. Kurt hesitated, then let his hands fall when he realized that he wasn’t the only one blushing. Blaine’s cheeks were dark with a blush and Kurt suddenly remembered that hey oh yeah Blaine was attracted to him as well and he was basically undressing him.

“Yeah. Okay. Wanna feel the water first?” asked Kurt, looking at the half full bathtub.

Blaine leaned over and splashed his hand around for a moment, then pulled back.

“Ow, oh. Too hot!” 

Kurt nodded and shifted to adjust the water temperature, making it cooler for him. By the time he turned back toward Blaine, he nearly jumped when he realized Blaine had completely undressed and was now standing there naked. Kurt closed his eyes, trying very very very hard to control himself because he was a teenage boy and he was in a small room with a very attractive naked guy who he was supposed to not be thinking _those_ thoughts about. 

“Oh wow. Okay. You did it by yourself. Good job,” said Kurt awkwardly. Blaine looked at him and raised an eyebrow, then laughed softly. 

“Can you, I just, need an arm or something. To get in. Don’t wanna fall,” said Blaine, stepping toward the tub. Kurt nodded and opened his eyes, then carefully offered Blaine his arm while resting a hand on Blaine’s back. He steadied him as he climbed into the tub and lowered himself down. It was surprisingly easy for Kurt to keep his eyes above Blaine’s waist, but he put that up to all those years of not looking in the locker rooms at school. 

Once Blaine was seated in the bath, Kurt turned off the water. He was about to sit on the closed toilet lid, but then realized that would give him a view of Blaine’s entire body and he wasn’t sure he had enough self-control to avoid looking for that long. He just wasn’t sure he was ready for that, even if he was in “caretaker mode”. So he ended up sitting himself on the floor beside the bathtub, leaning against the wall and watching Blaine relax in the bathwater. 

“Sorry you gotta do this,” said Blaine softly. He splashed in the water gently, then slid down to dip his hair into the water. Kurt kept his eyes on the floor, waiting for Blaine to request his assistance before looking anywhere in his direction.

“It’s okay,” said Kurt. “It’s very important for me to do this for you, so that if we do become boyfriends someday, I won’t change my mind and hurt you.”

“I know that,” said Blaine as he came back up from the water, his curls wet and plastered to his head. He grabbed the bottle of shampoo and held it out for Kurt. “Help?”

Kurt sighed and took the bottle, rolled up his sleeves, and squirted some in his hand. 

“I’ll admit, I didn’t think I’d be seeing you naked on the first day,” said Kurt, laughing softly as he shifted to kneel beside the tub and start to work the shampoo into Blaine’s hair. Blaine tipped his head back and let out a little content groan as Kurt’s fingers massaged his scalp. Kurt felt himself blush again at the sound. 

“I didn’t think, didn’t, I would be, have an episode the, on the first day,” said Blaine. He was about to turn his head to look at Kurt, but Kurt stopped him. 

“Don’t, you’ll get soap in your eyes,” Kurt warned quickly. Blaine hummed and relaxed again, tipping his head back. Kurt’s fingers paused in Blaine’s hair, and he felt a thud in his chest. He hadn’t even been thinking and he had helped Blaine avoid getting hurt, even if it was just a small thing like the sting of soap suds. Maybe he was really was cut out for this caretaker thing.

“I was worried, maybe you, worried that you, if you saw me like that, that you might, you wouldn’t want me. I get scared thinking, like that, like maybe you’ll decide not, you don’t want me after all.” Blaine sleepily mumbled. 

Kurt dropped his hands from Blaine’s hair to his shoulders, just resting on the warm bare skin. His fingertips tingled at the touch, and he felt Blaine shudder.

“Never,” whispered Kurt. “That part of you could never make me not want you. I think it just makes me like you even more.”

Blaine really did turn to face him this time, causing Kurt’s hands to drop. He had soap trailing down the sides of his face, but he looked at Kurt with big, round eyes. 

“You mean that?” he asked, almost desperately.

“Of course I do,” said Kurt. He reached and took Blaine’s hand with his soapy one. “Blaine, honey, you’re special for so many reasons other than what’s going on in your head. You make me feel things I wasn’t even sure I wanted to feel. I just need time to come to terms with that.”

He squeezed Blaine’s hand, and Blaine gave him a little nod. He kept staring into Kurt’s eyes, like he was searching them to make sure Kurt was being sincere. Kurt gave him a reassuring smile, then turned away and leaned up, reaching for the empty pitcher that was sitting on the counter. 

“Alright. Turn and lean back, I need to rinse the shampoo from your hair,” said Kurt. Blaine smiled, then turned and closed his eyes. Kurt slowly and carefully poured water over Blaine’s head, careful not to get soap in his eyes. 

They finished the rest of the bath, and Kurt suddenly found himself slipping into the role of caretaker much easier. For the rest of the night, neither he nor Blaine felt awkward around each other, and the word boyfriend didn’t even cross his mind. He stayed the night in Blaine’s room, as he had done a handful of times before, both of them fully clothed in pajamas and on opposite sides of the bed not touching. 

Blaine had fallen asleep the moment his head hit the pillow, but Kurt laid awake for a long time after, listening to the sounds of Blaine’s even breathing. His heart was thudding too hard and fast in his chest to even think about sleep as he replayed the events of the day in his mind. 

The whole day had been more challenging than he had expected, but Kurt had calmed Blaine from his episode, then helped him with his bath, eat a later dinner, and get ready for bed. Keeping Blaine awake long enough to do all those things had been the hardest part. But he had successfully cared for Blaine, and he knew in his heart that he could keep doing it.

In fact, he wanted to keep caring for Blaine. He would care for Blaine every day if it meant getting to see that sweet boy’s smile, and…

Oh.

It hit Kurt so suddenly, a realization his heart already knew but his brain was so stubborn to admit. He was falling for Blaine. And he was falling hard.


	4. Kurt Finally Does the Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel and Blaine start to become friends, and Kurt is surprised by Blaine several times over.

Rachel Berry needed help. She would never admit this out loud because she needed to maintain the aura of confidence so as to not let her fellow glee clubbers down. But she needed help deciding something. The eight month anniversary of her reunion with her beloved Finn was just around the corner, and she needed to sing something very special for him in front of all their friends so that they could know the two of them were just as serious and in love as ever.

She had tried writing a song, but it seemed her songwriting capabilities were limited to expressing those feelings only born out of torturous pain and suffering. That simply would not do for the occasion, so she began sorting through her extensive repertoire of music for the absolute perfect love song. She had narrowed it down to a few final candidates for her spectacular, heartfelt number, but now it was all down to presentation. And she knew she could not do it alone.

Deeply contemplating who and when to ask for help, she headed to the choir room to get an early start on her vocal warmups before the others arrived. She opened the door, expecting to find the room dark and waiting for her to brighten it up. The lights were already on, though, and music filled the room. Rachel narrowed her eyes and she quickly looked around for the source of the music, finding a familiar figure sitting at the piano.

“Blaine!” she exclaimed loudly. The poor guy jumped at her voice, standing up from the piano so quickly the bench tipped over and hit the floor with a loud _thud_. Rachel cringed away from the sound and was about to say something to him about respecting the property of the choir room when she realized he was already freaking out.

“’M sorry, ‘m sorry, ‘m sorry, please, sorry…” Blaine whimpered, both hands clamped over his ears, his back hunched over as he stood rooted to his spot, unable to move, his eyes squeezed shut as he muttered to himself over and over. “Sorry, please don’t, please, ‘m sorry…”

“Blaine, it’s alright. You’re okay,” said Rachel, lowering her voice a little and slowly walking toward him. She was careful not to get into his personal bubble. When Kurt had stayed over at her house the weekend before, she had seen fading hand-shaped bruise on Kurt’s chest and despite what he said, she knew Blaine had put it there during one of his weird emotional outbursts.

Bending down and keeping an eye on Blaine at the same time, Rachel lifted the bench and set it back on its legs, then put a hesitant hand on Blaine’s arm.

“You’re okay. It’s okay,” she said softly. Blaine seemed to relax as he took a deep breath and lowered his hands. He opened his eyes and looked at her, then realized that it was just her and that she was harmless. Nodding once, he shakily lowered himself back down on the piano bench. Rachel sat beside him, her arm pressed against his.

“What were you playing?” asked Rachel, motioning toward the piano. Blaine shrugged a little in response. He never spoke much to anyone but Kurt, so she didn’t expect a real response.

But then he scooted a little closer to the piano and began to play. It started out slowly, just a few notes softly. Then it began to grow, adding notes that were soft and beautiful and warm, filled with so much feeling. His eyes closed as he leaned into the notes, playing them with precision and emotion. Rachel was fairly certain she knew who he was playing for, who all the love flowing from his fingertips was for, but all she could think was how fantastically beautiful what he was playing was. 

She watched, entranced as his fingers glided across the keys, harder, louder as the song reached a crescendo. Then his expression softened and his eyes opened part way and he watched his fingers finish the song quietly. When he was done, he slid his hands into his lap and took a few deep breaths. Rachel was in awe as she looked up at him, taking in the exhausted look on his face, as though playing with that emotion drained him completely. 

“That was beautiful. Did you write it?” she asked softly. 

He shook his head and reached for the ipod that was sitting up on the top of the piano in front of them. He handed her an earbud and pressed the play button. She popped it in and immediately recognized the upbeat, cheerful tune of Katy Perry’s Teenage Dream. She smiled. It was one of many that she knew by heart already. 

She replayed in her mind what Blaine had just played on the piano, and she instantly could tell how the lyrics matched up to the song. Standing up, she leaned against the piano and smiled down at him. 

“Do you think maybe you could play it again?” she asked, looking hopeful. Blaine stared hard at the piano keys.

His shoulders rose and fell with the next breath he took, then he lifted his hands and began to play. Rachel closed her eyes and let herself fall into the music, then began to sing. They made it through almost the whole song before the door of the choir room opened and Kurt entered. Rachel had wanted to keep singing, but Blaine instantly stopped playing and stood up, grinning brightly at the sight of the other boy.

Rachel huffed. How unprofessional. 

“Kurt!” Blaine exclaimed loudly. He left the piano and hurried over to Kurt, abandoning Rachel and their music mid-song. 

Rachel watched as he went over and attempted to hug Kurt, who gave him a quick embrace, blushing lightly, then put some space between them. She knew how Kurt felt about being touched. Blaine seemed to not have the same issues, at least not when it came to Kurt. She imagined that in the privacy of their houses, Kurt allowed the closeness to a certain extent, otherwise Blaine wouldn’t think it was okay.

“Hey you,” Kurt said to Blaine, touching his arm and guiding him back to the piano, then smiling at Rachel.

“Hello, Kurt,” said Rachel, trying her best to let him know through her expression that he had interrupted what she and Blaine were doing. Kurt didn’t seem to notice, though, as he was too busy helping Blaine get back to his spot at the piano. Rachel rolled her eyes. Kurt was _clearly_ in love with Blaine. She just wondered how long it would take him to get it through his thick skull and admit it. 

“What were you playing?” asked Kurt, glancing from Blaine to Rachel. Blaine reached up to the piano to begin playing again, but Rachel reached out and grabbed his arm to stop him.

“No, it’s a surprise,” Rachel declared. Blaine looked up at her, his brow furrowed. “I was looking for the perfect song to sing to Finn, and Blaine helped me find it. We’re going to perform it later in the week during glee club. Right Blaine?”

She looked down at him expectantly, and he just seemed very confused. His mouth was open like he was going to say something, but he wasn’t sure what the right thing to say was, so he just closed his mouth and made a little whimper sound before nodding once. Rachel grinned happily now that she had gotten her way and had found the perfect song to sing for Finn. She was so happy that she didn’t even notice the glare that Kurt was sending her way.

Just then, the other members of the glee club began to enter the room. Rachel grabbed her bag and hurried to her seat in the front of the choir room, waiting expectantly for her wonderful, loving boyfriend to join her.

………………………..

After glee club rehearsal, Kurt’s muscles always felt a little achy from the dancing. Blaine had spent the entirety of the rehearsal at the piano bench, displacing poor Brad the piano player – who looked a little happier than he should have when Mr. Schuester allowed Blaine to be their accompanist for the day. It hadn’t taken long for Blaine to learn the songs they were practicing for regionals. When it came to the piano, he was a musical genius.

Kurt collected his bag from the back row and headed walked over to where Blaine was still seated at the piano bench. 

“You were good today,” said Kurt, resting a hand on Blaine’s shoulder and giving it an encouraging squeeze. Blaine grinned and blushed a little under the praise. 

“I like the, the music it, all of it. I like the music.” Blaine hit one last key on the keyboard, then stood up. He lowered the cover over the keys gently, as though the instrument were sacred to him. He patted the black wood once almost affectionately, the grabbed his bag off the floor. 

“You ready to go on our date?” asked Kurt, smiling knowingly. Blaine’s whole face lit up and he nodded, quite eager for what was now their fourth date.

Their second and third had happened within a couple of days of each other. They went out to dinner at Breadstix one night, and two nights later Kurt had forced Blaine to go to the early premiere of a movie he had been dying to see for months. At first Kurt thought of them both as just friends hanging out, but Blaine seemed to be under the impression they were dates, so Kurt let him believe that. Besides, the more time he spent with Blaine, the more he was starting to realize how much he loved having him in his life.

Kurt had never taken Blaine to the Lima Bean before. Blaine wasn’t supposed to have coffee, per strict instructions from his mother, but it was his favorite place to go after school and he wanted to share it with Blaine. They arrived at the coffee shop a few minutes later than anticipated, since the winter snow had finally hit Lima. 

Kurt made sure Blaine was all bundled up in his coat and gloves before they ventured from the car to the building. His inner caretaker was beginning to blossom, and he found himself constantly thinking about ways to help Blaine when he was with him. Blaine didn’t seem to mind. He rarely rejected Kurt’s efforts to assist him.

Once they were inside the coffee shop, they both tugged off their gloves and relaxed into the warm atmosphere before getting in line with all the other patrons. 

“What you gonna have?” asked Blaine. He looked at the big menu on the wall but it all looked like a jumble of letters to him.

“Probably a non-fat mocha. It’s my usual,” replied Kurt, sticking close to Blaine while he scanned the menu for something Blaine could have. “Do you want a hot chocolate or something? It’ll warm you up.”

Blaine nodded enthusiastically, smiling up at Kurt brightly. Kurt got stuck for a moment, staring back at Blaine’s happy face. He got caught up in the way Blaine’s eyes sparkled as he gazed at Kurt like he was the only thing worth looking at in the whole world. 

Someone behind them cleared their throat, and Kurt blushed furiously as he tore his gaze from Blaine and stepped forward to the cashier. 

“Grande non-fat mocha and a grande hot chocolate,” Kurt told the girl behind the counter. He glanced at Blaine. “Did you want anything else?” 

Blaine’s brow furrowed for a moment, then he glanced to the case of baked goods beside the counter before quickly pointing to the large chocolate chip cookies on the top shelf.

“And a cookie, I guess,” Kurt added, chuckling softly at how adorable Blaine was. 

He reached into his pocket for his wallet, but before he could grab any money Blaine was handing the girl a twenty dollar bill. When Kurt looked at him, surprised, and Blaine just shrugged and pocketed the change as the stepped away to wait for their coffee.

“What was that about?” asked Kurt.

“You always pay,” explained Blaine. “’Cept for the movie. You pay for, always pay for dates. I asked for, and, Daddy gave it, the money, he gave it to me so I, so I could pay it. My turn.”

And damn it if Kurt didn’t feel his heart melt just a little bit more.

“Well you are very sweet. Thank you for the coffee.” Kurt smiled just as their drinks were called out. Kurt stepped forward to grab them, then handed the hot chocolate and cookie to Blaine. “Let’s find a seat.”

Blaine selected the most secluded corner, away from other people. As out and proud as he was, Kurt was thankful for Blaine’s discretion. Kurt sometimes got so caught up in Blaine’s brain damage being a complication that he forgot they were two gay kids in Ohio.

They settled together at a table across from each other, and Kurt watched with amusement as Blaine ripped open the paper bag containing the cookie. He pulled out the treat and split it in half, then handed one half to Kurt.

“Oh, I couldn’t,” said Kurt, holding up at a hand. Blaine blinked, then held the cookie out even more. 

“We share,” insisted Blaine. “I’m not s’posed to, really, eat it. You have to have some too. That will, that makes it fair.”

Kurt sighed, then gave in and took the offered cookie. Blaine smiled, then went about eating his own half. He looked down at the table as he tore off little pieces of cookie and gingerly popped them in his mouth, chewing slowly as though savoring it.

After a few minutes, though, it seemed that Blaine wasn’t just enjoying his cookie. He seemed to be avoiding conversation. 

“Blaine? You okay?” asked Kurt softly. He stretched a hand across the table, his palm up. Blaine glanced at it, then slipped his hand into Kurt’s, just resting it there.

“Fine,” said Blaine shortly.

Kurt spoke his language well enough to know “fine” meant “there’s something stuck in my jumbled mess of a brain and I don’t know how to get it out”.

“Is it about us?” Kurt felt worry bubble up inside of him. He was getting better about questioning his own actions when it came to their relationship, but he still knew Blaine’s feelings were there and he was waiting.

Blaine looked up at him, though, almost as soon as the question was out.

“No,” said Blaine. “No. Everything is, it’s good. We’re good. I just…before. Rachel. She…”

“Did she hurt you?” Kurt instantly felt the worry being replaced with protectiveness. Blaine’s parents had made sure he understood the number one rule of taking care of Blaine was that he was safe, and Kurt took it very seriously.

“No!” Blaine answered quickly. “No, she didn’t. Just, the song I was playing. It wasn’t for her. It was for, for me. My feelings, not hers. She just kinda stole that. And it’s a lot, for me, when I play like that. It takes a lot.”

Blaine took a deep breath, like what he was saying wasn’t accurately describing how he really felt. Kurt thought he had some idea what Blaine meant, but he knew better than to assume. He just gave Blaine’s hand an encouraging little squeeze, waiting patiently as Blaine let out a sigh.

“Makes me tired,” said Blaine, with a sort of finality in his tone. Kurt nodded sympathetically.

“We don’t have to stay here if you don’t want,” Kurt offered. “I can take you home if you need to rest.” 

“Not yet,” said Blaine. He glanced at their twined hands, then reached for his hot chocolate and took a sip. “Just. Not yet. Besides. I got sugar. It’ll help.”

Kurt laughed softly and took a sip of his drink as well. 

They stayed there for another half an hour, when their drinks were mostly finished and the sun was starting to set. Kurt drove Blaine home slowly, careful of the slippery snow on the ground. By the time he arrived in the Anderson’s driveway, he glanced over to see Blaine had curled up in the passenger seat, his cheek smooshed up against the cold window, fast asleep.

It almost seemed like a crime to wake him, he looked so peaceful. His long eyelashes were fanned out against his smooth skin and his lips were curled into a tiny, sleepy smile. Kurt’s eyes lingered there, and he felt himself blush and he turned away before his mind could wander.

“Hey sleepy,” he finally said, reaching over and resting a hand on Blaine’s arm, giving it a little squeeze.

Blaine inhaled suddenly and his body stiffened as he awoke. His arm lashed out and he looked around, blinking grumpily until he spotted Kurt. He relaxed immediately and let out the breath slowly. 

“I fall asleep?” he asked softly before sucking in a big yawn that ended in the cutest little squeak that Kurt had ever heard. 

“Yes you did. C’mon. Let’s get you inside.” Kurt turned off the car and got out, hurrying around to the passenger side of his car. Blaine had managed to get the door open, and Kurt held out a hand for him. “Careful, the ground is slippery.”

Blaine nodded, took his hand, and stepped out onto the slick concrete carefully. They walked together to Blaine’s house, and Kurt let go of his hand at the door. 

“Can you stay?” asked Blaine, looking at Kurt hopefully.

“I promised my dad I would actually come home tonight. It’s my turn to cook if Finn hasn’t already devoured everything in the kitchen,” Kurt replied, feeling a little pang inside at the saddened look on Blaine’s face. Before he could say something, though, Blaine wiped the look off his face and traded it for a soft smile.

“Okay. I see you tomorrow?” Blaine asked, blinking up at Kurt.

“Of course.” Kurt smiled and stood awkwardly for a moment, then leaned forward and wrapped Blaine up in a hug. Blaine’s whole body stiffened for a moment, then he relaxed into Kurt’s embrace and wrapping his arms around Kurt tightly. He pressed his nose into Kurt’s neck and inhaled deeply. It made Kurt tremble at the warm feeling of Blaine’s skin against his, then before he could think about it anymore, he stepped away. 

Blaine was smiling again, sleepily and happily as he stepped back and put his hand on the door handle. He gave Kurt a little wave, then ducked his head and opened the door, stepping inside. When the door closed behind him, Kurt headed to his car, the snow crunching under his shoes. The feeling of Blaine’s soft skin pressed against his neck kept his cheeks pink and warm the whole drive home.

………………………

A few days later, Kurt found himself feeling a little left out. He had asked if Blaine wanted to hang out several times after school, but it seemed that Blaine had found someone new to occupy his time. It had started out with Rachel forcing him to rehearse the song that wasn’t even meant for her to sing, and then it turned out that Blaine actually really liked spending time with her.

She seemed to really enjoy his company as well, but Kurt figured that was just because she could talk to Blaine all day long and he didn’t know how to shut her up. Rachel seemed to enjoy the company of anyone who would just listen to her ramble on and on about whatever it was she was thinking about in the moment.

Usually it was Kurt she was trying to force her irritating voice on, but now that she and Blaine had found each other, it was almost like they didn’t need Kurt anymore. Which, quite frankly, irritated Kurt to no end.

He only hoped that when Rachel finally sang the stupid song to Finn and got it over with, then she would stop monopolizing his Blaine and things could go back to the way they were. 

Kurt went straight home after glee club one afternoon after being rejected by both Blaine and Rachel, who were going to the music store together before going back to Blaine’s house to engage in musical _duets_ that did not require a _third wheel_. 

If Kurt didn’t know that Blaine was one hundred percent gay, and that Rachel was completely dedicated to Finn, they could be suspiciously close to dating. 

Feeling something vaguely reminiscent of jealousy bubbling under his skin, Kurt went straight up to his room and closed the door, tossing his bag on the floor and falling face first on his bed. He was about to just sulk, alone with his feelings, when there was a knock on his door. With a frustrated growl, Kurt sat up.

“Who is it?”

The door opened and Finn shuffled in, closing the door behind him.

“Hey bro,” said Finn.

“Let me guess. Rachel didn’t invite you either?” Kurt asked wryly, raising an unamused eyebrow.

“No. Dude. She’s like. Giving me the cold shoulder. You have normal conversations with her. Did I miss something important?” asked Finn, looking genuinely clueless.

Kurt blinked up at him, then fell back down on his bed and closed his eyes, draping his arm over his face as a shield to the world.

“Your anniversary is tomorrow,” Kurt replied. “That’s literally all I can think of. I haven’t had a conversation with her in a week. My best friends stole each other from me.”

Finn nodded and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans. 

“That’s rough,” he said, looking down at his feet. “So…I totally did forget. About the anniversary, I mean. Do you think, maybe, you could help me pick something out for her?”

“Just take her out to dinner someplace not fast food or Breadstix. Dress up nicely, get her some flowers, tell her you love her. Make her feel special and loved,” suggested Kurt. “Now please leave while I wallow in the fact that I can’t even make up my mind about the most perfect boyfriend candidate that Ohio has to offer.”

“Oh my god.” Finn rolled his eyes and reached for the door immediately, pulling it open and stepping out into the hall. Before he closed it behind him, he called out, “Just say yes already oh my god.”

He closed the door and Kurt sighed. If only his life was as simple as Finn’s, it would be that easy. 

………………………..

Kurt arrived at his first class with Blaine a few minutes early, before Blaine got there. He took his spot next to Blaine’s usual seat in the back and waited for the other boy to arrive. There was no way Blaine would miss today, or that Rachel would let Blaine miss it.

It was the very last minute before class started, after the teacher had already closed the door and was trying to settle down her students, when Blaine finally arrived. He hurried in through the door, his gaze cast downward as he mumbled a quick apology to the teacher and shuffled down the row to his seat. Midway down the row, someone stuck out their foot, catching Blaine around the ankle.

He let out a little cry of surprised as he was pitched forward. A few snickers turned into full on laughter as Blaine landed hard on his knees and some jock commented, “That’s where you belong, fairy.”

Kurt vaulted himself over a couple of desks in a move only rivaled by professional gymnasts, and was helping Blaine to his feet before they could do anything worse to him. They all only stopped laughing when the teacher finally threatened to give detention to the whole class if they didn’t shut up. Kurt got Blaine sitting at his desk, rubbing a hand over Blaine’s knee gently when he saw the tears forming in Blaine’s eyes.

“Okay?” Kurt whispered, trying to hide his own anger toward his classmates. Blaine shook his head as he trembled, reaching to take Kurt’s hand tight in his own. Kurt nodded and stood up, raising his hand.

The teacher sighed at yet another interruption. “Yes Mr. Hummel?”

“Blaine is hurt. I need to take him to the nurse’s office,” said Kurt.

“Are you asking me or telling me?” asked the teacher, earning a few snickers from people around the room. Kurt rolled his eyes.

“May I please take Blaine to the nurse’s office?” asked Kurt, feigning politeness. 

The teacher nodded and turned to her desk to write them both a hall pass. Kurt squeezed Blaine’s hand once before letting go and helping Blaine back to his feet. They walked back down the row, Blaine following Kurt, and someone tried to trip him again. Blaine caught himself this time, but it didn’t stop him from finally tipping over the edge and crying. 

“What is wrong with you?” Kurt snapped at the jocks who were laughing. He grabbed Blaine’s hand again and tugged him forward, hurrying to get him out of the classroom and into the hallway. Once it was just them, Kurt pulled Blaine into his arms and hugged him tight. 

Blaine fell limp against him, his back trembling as he cried into Kurt’s shoulder. Kurt rubbed his back softly, letting him cry it out for a few minutes.

“It’s okay sweetheart I’ve got you, it’s gonna be okay,” whispered Kurt, hugging him a little tighter

“Why they so mean?” Blaine asked, his voice barely audible as he curled up into Kurt’s body as much as he could while they were standing. 

“Because it makes them feel stronger to know they have the power to hurt you,” said Kurt. He had gone through his own fair share of bullying, especially with the scare with Karofsky the year before. But as bad as his own experiences had been, he couldn’t imagine what it was like for Blaine. 

To be bullied for being gay or being unpopular was one thing, but to get bullied because of a medical condition that had already cost Blaine everything but his life seemed unfairly cruel. 

Kurt pressed his cheek to Blaine’s temple and gave him another tight squeeze before stepping back. He cradled Blaine’s cheek in his palm and wiped his tears with his thumb.

“Want to get some ice for your knees? You fell kind of hard.” 

Blaine nodded and nuzzled Kurt’s palm for a moment. Kurt watched the tender gesture, his heart aching for a moment before he blushed lightly at the touch. Blaine gave him a tiny, tear-filled smile before they began to walk slowly down the hall.

For the first time, Kurt finally took in Blaine’s appearance. Normally he was dressed in one of his many warm cardigans and pants that matched, and he let his hair go free. He rarely picked out his own clothes, just because he didn’t really know what went together and what really did not match. But today he was dressed in form-fitting dark slacks, a white button down covered in a white sweater vest, with a nice suit jacket, and his hair was slicked back with gel. 

“You look very handsome today,” commented Kurt, slipping his arm through Blaine’s to hold him steady as they moved. Blaine smiled and Kurt caught the tint of pink to his cheeks. 

The two of them seemed to be doing quite a lot of blushing these days, Kurt noted.

“Thank you,” said Blaine softly. “Rachel. She. She wanted me to look nice.”

Kurt hummed and hugged his arm tight before they finally arrived at the nurse’s office and he had to release it. He helped Blaine to the bed along the wall, then pulled a chair as close as he could get it, smiling up at Blaine.

“Hello again, Blaine,” said Nurse Darcy. She was McKinley High’s newest attempt at a competent nurse, and Kurt had never been in her office before now, unlike Blaine apparently. 

“Hello,” said Blaine. He kept his gaze down, directed toward Kurt but by the far off look in his eyes Kurt could tell he wasn’t really looking at him. 

“It’s not time for your medicine, so what can I help you with this morning?” asked the nurse, putting on a fake happy smile as she wrote something down on some papers she had with her.

“My. Um. My. I fell. My knees hurt,” Blaine mumbled, looking almost ashamed as he spoke.

“Some jocks tripped him while he was trying to get to his seat in class. He hit the floor hard and then they decided to make a gay joke about him being on his knees. Then when I asked to take him to the nurse they tried to trip him again. I would like to make a formal complaint about this harassment,” said Kurt, sitting up straight in his chair confidently. 

Nurse Darcy looked at him, then grabbed two plastic bags to fill with ice.

“Your intentions are very honorable, Kurt. You are Kurt, right? I mean. Blaine talks about you, so I assumed…”

Blaine’s cheeks blushed bright red. Kurt just nodded.

“Anyway, like I said. Your intentions really are honorable. But no one’s going to take his word against theirs seriously. He’s tried. It always backfires.” She wrapped one bag full of ice in a paper towel, then helped Blaine lay down on the bed so she could lay the ice pack flat on his knee.

Kurt’s brow furrowed as he stood up wordlessly to help. He grabbed a pillow and tucked it under Blaine’s head.

“Blaine’s father’s brother is my husband,” Nurse Darcy explained. “When Jack mentioned they were transferring Blaine here, I checked it out and I saw the job opening. I’m a fully qualified nurse, so I decided to apply. I figured it was a good way to keep tabs on my favorite nephew. Plus I know how to take care of him well enough.”

She grabbed another ice pack and brought it to Blaine’s other knee, then patted his shoulder and gave him a little smile.

“You just lay here for a little while, Blainey. Kurt can stay for ten minutes but then he needs to get back to class. Okay?” Nurse Darcy asked, her voice soft and kind just for Blaine.

He smiled and nodded, then she left them alone. Kurt stepped closer to the bed, looking down at him. 

“I’m so sorry,” Kurt whispered, looking into those big sweet puppy eyes of Blaine’s.

“For what?”

“I’m just sorry for everything you have to go through. Your brain injury…it just cost you so much more than I even imagined.” Kurt was trying very, very hard not to cry as he spoke, not when Blaine was being as calm as he was.

“Hey.” Blaine reached for Kurt’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “Hey. I’m okay. I’m strong.”

Kurt squeezed his hand back and nodded, because it was true. Blaine was the strongest person Kurt had ever known.

………………………

Blaine stayed in the nurse’s office for a long time, then spent the rest of the day hiding in the choir room. When Kurt finally saw him again he was well and happy in glee club, smiling as Rachel and Mercedes danced around the piano to some upbeat tune Blaine was pounding out on the keyboard. Kurt was relieved to see his friend accepting Blaine into their ranks so easily.

Kurt entered the room and when straight to his seat in the back row, dropping his bag to the floor and watching Blaine dance with the others. Finally, it was time for him to just give up and admit it. Blaine was the most adorable boy he had ever seen in his entire life. And his thighs in those pants were just delicious…

He shook his head quickly and sat up a little straighter so he could cross his legs. Those thoughts were not allowed in a public setting.

Eventually, all the pre-glee excitement died down and most everyone retreated to their seats except Rachel and Blaine. Kurt rolled his eyes. Here it came. This great duet they had been working on for so long. He was just _so_ excited to sit through another sickening display of heterosexual affection.

Rachel announced that this song was her anniversary gift to Finn, who she loved so much, blah blah blah, and Blaine was playing with her, obviously. 

Then Blaine began to play and Kurt froze because…it was beautiful. Blaine’s eyes drifted closed and he seemed to be quickly overcome by emotion that poured from his heart down to his fingertips and into the music. The beginning was slow, and then Rachel began to sing. 

Teenage Dream. Of course. A beautiful acoustic version. Of course Rachel would come up with something like this. 

Except.

Blaine turned up from looking down at his fingers and locked his gaze with Kurt’s, and Kurt’s breath caught in his chest.

Except Rachel didn’t pick this song. 

Blaine looking at Kurt like he was the only person in the room and like he would pouring his heart out for Kurt. When he seemed sure that Kurt got the message, that this wasn’t him playing for Rachel singing for Finn, this was him playing for Kurt.

This song was meant for Kurt and only Kurt.

He turned back to the piano. Head down, eyes closed, fingers moving fast and precise with a purpose. Kurt watched Blaine, watched him play, watched his emotions, watched the way his lips moved like he wanted to sing but couldn’t. He watched the way Blaine breathed, the flare of his nostrils, the bob of his head, the subtle forward lean as he touched the very last note of the song and let it linger, filling the air. 

Everyone applauded, but the applause was not for Rachel. No one had heard Rachel sing. They had all been too busy listening to Blaine. 

……………………………

Kurt took Blaine home after rehearsal and after quietly sharing a snack with Blaine, the two boys when up to Blaine’s room. Blaine didn’t seem to feel much like talking after his emotional performance in glee club, and Kurt was just fine with silently doing both his and Blaine’s homework. 

After nearly an hour, Kurt sat up on his knees from where he had been sitting on the floor, to find Blaine sprawled on the bed, lying on his back and staring up at the ceiling. At first Kurt thought he was sleeping, but then he noticed his eyes were open. 

“Hey,” said Kurt, reaching over to nudge Blaine’s shoulder with his knuckles. Blaine turned his head, but didn’t smile. Actually, he looked quite miserable. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m mad,” said Blaine. He looked back at the ceiling.

“Why? Is it something I did?” asked Kurt.

“No,” snapped Blaine quickly. “I’m mad at me. Why I let her steal my song? That was, it was so dumb. She sang it to Finn. It’s my song. I hear it, on the radio, then I, I play for days at home. Make that slow version perfect. I wanted to play for you! But she take it and, and I let her.”

“I knew it,” said Kurt. Blaine turned his head again, blinking at Kurt. “I felt it, in the choir room. I felt all the emotion in the song. I felt that it was for me. And Blaine, honey, it was so beautiful. I was blown away.”

“I love you,” Blaine whispered.

The words hung in the air between them, their eyes locked.

“Yes.” Kurt barely spoke, his lips moving and just a little gust of sound coming out high pitched and sweet. 

Blaine’s brow furrowed. 

“Yes.” Kurt spoke a little louder. He held out his hand and Blaine took it immediately. “Blaine Anderson. Yes. I’ll be your boyfriend. If you’ll have me. I want to be your boyfriend.”

And like usual, Blaine surprised him yet again. Just when he thought Blaine couldn’t get any more beautiful, the grin on his face proved him wrong. 

Kurt’s heart thudded hard in his chest, because he finally had a boyfriend.


	5. Blaine Gets Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine disappears for a day and scares everyone, then Kurt and Blaine experience a first.

It wasn’t the first time it had happened, but that didn’t make it any less terrifying. 

Blaine didn’t know how long he had been walking, just that it was a very long time by now. When he went out, the sun was still high in the sky, and now it was setting on the horizon and the streetlamps were starting to flicker on. His feet ached terribly, but each time he stopped to rest, something scared him and he had to keep moving.

It had started hours ago, when he had been sitting on the porch enjoying the dry, mild weather. There was a big tree in his front yard, with leafless branches that swayed almost constantly. He had been staring at the tree for a good long time when he noticed a little creature scampering down the trunk of the tree. It was a squirrel, and he had never seen one up close before. He really wanted to get a better look at it, so he got up from his spot on the porch and walked toward it slowly.

The squirrel saw him, though, and it took off across the yard. Blaine had laughed, because the little thing was so cute and it had the fluffiest little tail. He followed it, intrigued by the little thing. The squirrel led him across the street, through two neighbor’s yards, down another street, and halfway through a park before he realized he was pretty far from home and he should probably go back.

But then the squirrel had something in its little mouth and Blaine wanted to see what it was. Didn’t squirrels eat nuts and things? Where did the little thing find a nut like that around here? Blaine didn’t see any nut trees around, but his proximity seemed to scare the little creature again, and he followed it further into the densely wooded part of the park. 

As he was getting closer to the squirrel, his foot caught on a branch and he tripped, stumbling a little before balancing himself once more. When he was steady on his feet again, he realized he had lost the squirrel for good. Really looking around, he felt a surge of panic.

He had no idea where he was. 

He kept walking in a straight line until he came out of the woods and found himself on a street again, but it was one so far from home he didn’t recognize any of the houses. Trembling, he turned sharply to the right and began to walk straight. He hoped that maybe if he just started walking, he would find someone or something he recognized. What Blaine didn’t know was that he was walking in the entirely wrong direction.

And hours later, he was still walking. His feet hurt, he was cold, and he couldn’t stop crying. That was mostly from being afraid, though. All he wanted was to go home to his Mama and Daddy and to see Kurt but he didn’t know where they were and if he would ever get to see them at this point.

It crossed his mind briefly to go knock on someone’s door and ask for help, but talking to people he didn’t know was even scarier. If there was anything Blaine had learned over the years it was that people didn’t understand others who were different, and when people didn’t understand things, they tended to be mean about it. Blaine didn’t like people being mean to him, so it was probably best to just forget about that idea and keep walking.

And so he walked and walked, until he was pretty sure his feet were about to fall off. His tummy was rumbling loudly, since he hadn’t eaten since breakfast, and his head was starting to ache. He couldn’t stop crying, and it was only making his headache worse. Everything around him seemed so foreign, and it was all so scary, he didn’t know what to do anymore.

Finally Blaine reached a point where his eyes were so clouded with tears and his whole body ached so bad that he didn’t think he could walk another step. He tripped over his own feet and fell onto the sidewalk. At first he just laid there, crying loudly as his head throbbed and his now concrete scraped hands ached sharply. Then he finally pushed himself up so he was sitting on the curb, curled up as small as he could make himself. 

He cried into his knees as he buried his hands in his hair, letting the sobs take over his tired, cold, hungry, aching body.

“Well, look what we have here.” An amused voice spoke from above him.

Blaine froze, his muscles clenched in fear as he squeezed his eyes shut, hoping that if he just sat there quiet for long enough whoever it was would just go away and leave him alone.

“You’re a long way from home, aren’t you?” The voice asked. “Just a lost little fairy.”

Too scared to answer, Blaine just cringed and let out a little whimper, his fingers going tight where they had buried themselves in his hair.

“Fuck. You know. I should kick your ass for spreading your fucking gayness all over my street, but you see. I got this rule. I don’t hit retards. But you can’t really be both a faggot and a retard equally, can you? You gotta be more one than the other. So which one is it? Huh?” 

A foot nudged Blaine’s side, and it only made him cry harder. Whoever it was above him was so mean, they sounded so mean and Blaine didn’t know how to make them go away. He just wanted them to go away and leave him alone. Why did people always have to be so mean to him? All he ever wanted was to go home…

“Hey!” Another voice shouted. A woman’s voice. It was one Blaine recognized, but it wasn’t his Mama. “Get away from him!” 

The mean voice swore, then Blaine heard footsteps but he was too terrified to look up. He was stuck curled up like a ball, hiding from them the best that he could. Everything hurt so bad and his head started to feel like someone was pounding his skull with big rocks. He was so confused and hurt and there was nothing he could do but give in and let the pain take over. 

And that’s when everything went dark.

…………………………

_Earlier that morning._

Viv was very happy. It was known to happen occasionally, went things were going well. She was baking cookies and the whole house smelled like a heavenly bakery. At that very moment, Jack was on his way to the airport in Columbus to pick up Cooper, who was coming to visit for a week. She loved having her eldest son home, it made everything feel complete. Blaine had no idea his brother was coming home, as they had planned it as a surprise for him. 

She slid another tray of cookies into the oven and set the timer, then stepped out of the kitchen and headed over to look out the big dining room window that looked out onto the front porch. Blaine was sitting out there, looking up at the sky with a smile on his face. He looked so happy and peaceful, she wondered what he was thinking about. 

Probably Kurt, if she knew her son at all.

Leaning against the window, she just watched him. He hadn’t yet reported a change in his relationship with the other boy, but Viv had a hunch that they were getting closer. Part of her felt protective over him. When she looked at him, all she saw was her sweet little boy she had been caring for all these years. 

Except he wasn’t a little boy anymore. He was sixteen, almost seventeen, and as much as she didn’t want to admit it, he really was growing up. 

Growing up had always held a different meaning for Blaine than for other kids his age. Growing up meant accepting his limitations and trying to live a life that wasn’t hindered by them, but one that challenged them.

The timer went off in the kitchen, pulling her from her deep thoughts, and she pushed herself off the window and headed in to check on the cookies. She set the tray of finished cookies down and set about spooning out another pan of cookie dough. Once they were in the oven and the timer was going again, she decided to go back and check on Blaine again.

Looking out the window, she paused when she realized he was no longer there. She did a double take as her heart thudded heavily in panic, then scanned the length of the porch. Blaine wasn’t there. 

She hurried to the front door, opening it up quickly and scanning the front yard.

“Blaine?” She called out, stepping onto the porch and looking around quickly. Panic spread from her chest to the rest of her body as she frantically ran down the steps and into the yard, scanning everything she could see.

“Blaine! Blaine, where are you?”

Viv ran around the side of the house, her bare feet cold in the winter frozen grass but the rest of her body overheated as everything seemed to blur around her. She looked everywhere around the house twice, then she ran inside.

“Blaine! Blaine, come out now, this isn’t funny!” She ran upstairs and shoved open his bedroom door, looking quickly. She checked his bed, under the bed, the closet, everywhere she could think of. She hurried down the hall, checking all the bathrooms, all of them coming up empty.

Her hands were shaking and she was crying as she finally made it back to the kitchen and to her phone sitting on the counter. In her panic, she dialed the first name on her recent calls list. Her whole body was shaking with the effort of trying to hold herself together as the phone rang twice, before her husband finally answered.

“ _Hi_ ,” said Jack casually. 

Viv opened her mouth to speak but all that came out was this wrenching sob as it finally broke through and she couldn’t hold it back. She covered her mouth with her hand, like that would help, as she hurried back over to the window, looking to see if Blaine had returned to the porch, if she had just been imagining the whole thing. He still wasn’t there, and suddenly she could hear Jack’s voice against her ear, reminding her that she was on the phone with him.

“ _Viv? Viv! What happened? What’s wrong?_ ” Jack asked, his voice getting louder, like he was trying to get through to her.

“Blaine…” Viv sobbed out his name as she pressed her hand to the window. Oh god. Blaine. Her little boy. He was out there somewhere, probably scared and possibly hurt. What if someone took him? What if someone else was hurting him?

“ _What happened to Blaine_?” Jack tried to keep his voice calm, but Viv could sense his concern.

“He, he was on the porch. Just sitting. I let him sit outside. I was, I checked on him. He’s gone. Jack. He’s gone. I looked everywhere, I can’t find him!” Viv sobbed, pulling her hand back to her mouth. 

The phone was silent for a moment, save for the sound of Jack’s heavy breaths as he tried to keep calm.

“ _Okay. Okay. Deep breaths, Viv. This isn’t the first time he’s wandered off. I can turn around now and tell Cooper to catch a cab. I’ll be there in an hour. You should stay home, in case he comes back_ ,” said Jack. He was notorious for being able to be an emotional rock in any situation, which made him extremely good at his job, but if there was anything that he could get worked up about it was his son.

Viv nodded, even though she knew he couldn’t see it. “Okay. But. But he’s out there and, someone should be looking for him. He’s probably so scared, I should go look for him.”

“No. No. You stay home. Call Darcy and Henry. They’ll help you search. And Kurt, too. Kurt will help. But someone needs to stay home in case Blaine comes home. Or if someone calls.” 

Still trembling, she agreed and ended the call, then quickly called both Jack’s brother and Kurt. She hated to drag the teen into this, but he seemed to have such a connection with Blaine. There was always a possibility that Blaine had decided to try to walk to Kurt’s house. Viv hoped that was the case, and that Kurt could find him easily, and that her Blaine was safe. 

………………………….

The first time they lost Blaine was when he was ten years old. Everything was still so hectic back then, the whole Anderson family was just trying to get their feet under themselves again. Blaine was starting to fall into a routine, but his behavior was still so unpredictable and misunderstood. There was little they could do to help him when he was at his worst. 

Back then they took Blaine to a child psychologist twice a week. Dr. Becky had been a nice woman, and she had personally requested to see Blaine as her patient. Children who experienced head injuries were of interest to her, so Jack and Viv allowed her to spend time working with Blaine for nearly two years She worked with Blaine to help him sort out his behavior, remember things better, and to communicate his needs better. It had worked eventually, but in the beginning it had all seemed like too much too soon for poor Blaine to process.

After one of their appointments, about three months in, Blaine had been so disoriented and exhausted from his session that it hadn’t taken much for him to mistake someone else for his parents and follow them instead. 

Dr. Becky’s office was situated on the third floor of a large medical complex, which had a lot of winding hallways and doors with words Blaine couldn’t even begin to read on them. He eventually somehow found his way to an elevator, down to the first floor, and out the door.

Three very stressful hours later, Jack and Viv found their son playing on a swing set in a park, five blocks from the medical complex. 

The second time it happened, Blaine was thirteen and he was at school. He usual bullies were tormenting more than usual, and also as usual, the teachers didn’t do much to stop it. It was only during lunch when Blaine didn’t show up at the lunch table with the other special needs kids that someone got worried. 

The entire school was searched, his parents were called, and even the police were brought in. It turned out that Blaine had somehow gotten onto a public bus and ridden it for nearly an hour before getting off on a residential street, thinking it had taken him home like the school bus. He had been found by someone who recognized him and they called his parents right away.

After the second time, Jack had decided as a precaution to order a custom medical bracelet for Blaine, with a phone number to call if he ever got lost. Viv had contacted the school, requesting that Blaine never go without adult supervision again. They just hoped it was enough. 

………………………..

And it was enough for three years. Blaine grew up, he began to learn consequences and how to handle himself. But the fact remained that Blaine simply couldn’t take care of himself and leaving him alone was a serious risk. Viv had taken that risk and now they were all paying for it.

Jack had arrived home in an hour as he said, then spent ten minutes soothing his wife before he began searching the neighborhood. Cooper arrived two hours after that and stayed at the house, monitoring the phone and trying to convince Viv that she was not a terrible mother for allowing Blaine to get some fresh air. Kurt joined the search and went through almost an entire tank of gas driving all over Lima looking for Blaine.

It turned out that a small town could be surprisingly big when someone you loved was missing.

After nearly six hours of searching, everyone regrouped at the Anderson house to try to figure out what to do next. Just as Kurt was about to demand they let him go back out and search all night until Blaine was found, the phone rang. 

Everyone was silent as Viv answered.

………………………..

Jack insisted on going alone, but Kurt demanded to go with him. The two of them sat in silence in the car, Kurt looking out the window as his heart fluttered anxiously. When Mrs. Anderson had called him to tell him that Blaine was missing, it had taken all his self-control to not slip into panicky boyfriend mode and stay in calm caretaker mode.

He had tirelessly searched up and down the streets in and around Lima all day, and it seemed as though Blaine was one step ahead of him the entire time and he was never able to catch up until now. Part of him had been screaming _what if he’s hurt what if he’s starving cold scared lonely_ the whole day, but he had to ignore it. For Blaine’s sake, and for Blaine’s family’s sake, he had to stay calm.

Blaine had been found more than an hour drive away from his house, in a neighborhood on the other side of Lima. Mrs. Pine, Kurt and Blaine’s perpetually exhausted looking history teacher, had been the one to find him. She had brought him into her house and found the medical bracelet on his wrist, then immediately called his parents. According to her, Blaine was fine, just a little shaken up.

Kurt knew as well as Blaine’s parents that “a little shaken up” could very well mean “on the verge of a serious episode”.

When they finally pulled into the small driveway of the address they had been given, Kurt was jumping out of the car the second it stopped moving. He hurried around to the front door, knocking on it quickly. Blaine’s father was by his side quickly, nudging Kurt back in a _let me take care of this I’m the adult_ kind of way.

The door opened and Mrs. Pine stood there, looking even more tired than usual.

“I’m Jack Anderson. Blaine’s father,” announced Jack. He looked past her, into the house. 

“Of course,” Mrs. Pine said, almost too sweetly for someone who always seemed so grumpy. She stepped back and opened the door to let them enter. “He’s just in the living room here, napping on the couch. He was upset for a while, crying quite a lot, but then he just fell asleep.”

Jack paused to thank her, and Kurt hurried by them both, into the living room where she had motioned. Blaine was lying there, curled up as small as he could make himself, his lips parted as he snored softly. His hair was a tangled mess, and Kurt instantly imagined Blaine fisting it tight in his hands as he wandered the streets.

With a sigh, Kurt slipped his hand into one of Blaine’s, twining their fingers and giving it a soft squeeze. Blaine’s eyes blinked open slowly, and he squinted up at Kurt for a moment until he recognized him. A tiny little smile tugged at his lips, and then his eyes fluttered closed again. 

“Poor thing, you must be exhausted,” said Kurt softly, pulling his hand from Blaine’s and stroking over his cheek. Blaine didn’t stir. He was fast asleep.

Jack came over a few moments later and breathed out in relief. He watched Blaine sleep for a moment, then leaned down and slipped one arm under Blaine’s bent knees, then slipped the other under his shoulders. He lifted Blaine up, holding him against his chest like he was still just a small child. 

“Geez, buddy. Mama’s been sneaking you too many cookies lately,” Jack chuckled, sounding a little strained as he carried Blaine from the couch to the door. Mrs. Pine held open the door, looking at Blaine sadly as Jack carried him out. Kurt followed closely, giving his teacher a thin smile as he passed by.

“See you on Monday, Mrs. Pine,” said Kurt. She nodded at him and returned the barely there smile before closing the door behind him.

Kurt hurried to the car to open the door for Jack, watching the older man set Blaine gently into back seat. Blaine didn’t wake up at all, and Kurt knew he was going to be out for a while. 

“You want to sit back here with him?” asked Jack, motioning to the back seat. 

Kurt nodded and slid in, buckling himself in before shifting Blaine’s head so that it was resting in his lap. The whole ride back to Blaine’s home he stared down at Blaine and gently worked out the tangled mess of his curls. He felt so relieved to have his boyfriend safe in his arms, and he couldn’t stop touching him. 

The boyfriend thing. It was still so new. They hadn’t even told either of their families yet. The waiting had been Blaine’s idea this time. He wanted to wait until the perfect moment to tell both their families together, and Kurt was willing to wait. 

They hadn’t even kissed yet, so Kurt was willing to wait. 

Blaine wanted to kiss. Of course Blaine wanted to kiss. Sometimes it was obvious by the sparkle in his slightly darkened eyes, or the way he would dart the very tip of his pink tongue out to wet his bottom lip before drawing that lip in under his front teeth in an almost sensual gesture. Sometimes Kurt could hear it, in the way Blaine would inhale sharply whenever Kurt got just close enough. Sometimes he could feel it in the way Blaine’s hand tightened its grip on Kurt’s as he struggled to control himself.

Blaine wanted to kiss.

It wasn’t that Kurt didn’t want to. Looking down at him sleeping, at those plump, slightly chapped lips parted the tiniest bit, Kurt wanted to. He really did. 

But he needed it to be special. This was both of their first kiss, both as individuals and as a couple. Kurt knew for a fact that Blaine wanted everything with him. Of course he wanted everything. Kurt wanted everything too, in time. It was the knowing that the first kiss would someday lead to everything that made him hesitate.

Everything with Blaine was so much more than everything with someone else. Everything with Blaine was a lifetime commitment, a full time role as a caretaker, being the one to show Blaine how to love and be loved both physically and emotionally. He did want that. But it would take time. 

For now, he was content to hold Blaine in his arms and admire how beautifully stunning he was to look at. 

With all the fear and worry that had coursed through Kurt during the day, he was just so relieved to have his Blaine back. 

……………………….

Kurt opened his eyes some undeterminable about of time later, and found himself surrounded by complete darkness. The last thing he remembered was being the in the car with Blaine after they finally found him. He blinked, letting his eyes focus on his surroundings. It was definitely a room in a house, and he was definitely laying on a bed. 

He must have fallen asleep in the car. Searching for Blaine had been exhausting, and it must have finally caught up with him. Kurt yawned and stretched his whole body, feeling his stiff muscles protesting. He wondered how long he had been asleep, then when he was about to force himself to sit up to further survey his surroundings, he felt his arm bump something warm and solid.

Turning his head fast so fast he almost gave himself whiplash, he blinked in the darkness to see what was there and was more than surprised to find that it was Blaine.

His cheeks burned with his blush. Oh god. He had fallen asleep in the car last night and Blaine’s parents had put him here. In bed. With Blaine. 

Of course they knew he wouldn’t do anything, not with Blaine like this. Blaine was sleeping so soundly that by the time Kurt had finally sat up and pushed himself to his feet, Blaine hadn’t even shifted. 

Kurt sighed and stretched again, then groaned in disgust when he realized he had been sleeping all night in the clothes he wore yesterday. He itched to get home and change before anyone dared to call him an outfit repeater, but that could wait. 

Keeping as quiet as he could, he glanced around the room. He couldn’t see much, it was pitch black. The window had been shaded off with a black curtain and every source of light had been shut off, right down to the backlit display of the clock on Blaine’s nightstand. Kurt didn’t need anything more to tell him just how hard Blaine’s ordeal had been on him. 

Kurt found himself walking to the other side of the bed and gingerly sitting on the very edge, beside where Blaine was curled up on his side. His face was peaceful as he slept. Kurt yearned to touch him, hold him, kiss him, but he didn’t want to disturb him.

Luckily something else inside of him demanded more attention than his heart, and he was willing to leave Blaine be for as long as he needed. As slowly and quietly as possible, Kurt walked across the room. When he got to the door, he opened it fast and stepped outside, closing it softly behind him. He paused in the hallway for a moment, listening for signs of movement inside the room. Once he was satisfied that he hadn’t disturbed Blaine, he hurried down the hallway to the bathroom. 

After relieving himself and attempting to fix his hair in the mirror, Kurt decided to head downstairs to check the time and see if Mrs. Anderson could dote some of her excessive motherly attention on him in the form of food. It was a short trip down the stairs and he turned into the first room with a window and a clock. The sun was up outside, and the clock said it was nearly seven in what he guessed was the morning. 

He must have been exhausted, sleeping that long without waking up.

His next stop was the kitchen. The whole house was quiet except for the kitchen, where Kurt could hear someone attempting to be quiet as they moved around. He expected it to be Mrs. Anderson, since she was usually the first one up every morning, but instead he found a very masculine and very shirtless back standing by the stove. 

Kurt froze, his eyes wide as he fought the urge to drop his jaw at the gorgeous man standing in front of him. 

“Good morning!” said the man cheerfully, smiling a dazzling white smile as he turned to face him. “You must be Kurt. Blaine talks about you a lot. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

It’s not that Kurt didn’t know that Blaine’s brother was stunningly handsome. He had seen enough family pictures by now. And it’s not that he didn’t know all about how Cooper was an actor, how it was Blaine’s brother on those catchy credit report commercials. He just hadn’t been expecting to see him there looking so…shirtless.

“You’re the handsomest man in North America,” Kurt blurted before he could stop himself. He brought his hand up and slapped it over his mouth, completely mortified as the other man just laughed.

“Don’t let Blaine hear you say that. He would get jealous,” said Cooper, that charming smile still in place. “Hey I just made some coffee. You want some?”

Kurt nodded, not trusting his mouth as he forced himself to stop staring at the muscled torso of his boyfriend’s older brother. Cooper poured him a cup and slid it across the counter. Kurt finally tore his eyes away from him and fixed his coffee just right, feeling Cooper watch him the whole time.

“What do you want with my brother?” asked Cooper suddenly, just as Kurt took his first sip of the caffeinated beverage. When Kurt looked up, Cooper wasn’t smiling anymore. In fact, he looked almost scarily serious. 

“Um, excuse me?” asked Kurt, feeling a little threatened by Cooper’s tone.

“You’re what, seventeen?”

“Almost eighteen.”

“Almost eighteen. You got your whole life ahead of you. So much potential. You probably wanna go to college, have a career, be a big star. All those dreams that I had when I was almost eighteen.” Cooper leaned back against the counter and sipped from his coffee.

“Of course I want all those things. And I’ll get them, too. They’re sending out letters for NYADA auditions next week. I know I’ll get one, and I’ll get in, and I’ll go to New York next year,” said Kurt confidently. 

“And what about Blaine? All these promises you’ve made him, all this taking care of him, being his friend, weaving yourself into his life. What happens to him when you go off to New York?” asked Cooper.

Kurt stared for a minute, holding his ground as his mind raced. He had spent so much time preparing himself for a future with Blaine, but he had left out just a few key details…

“Then Blaine can come to New York with me,” said Kurt. 

Cooper’s eyes widened a little, and snorted out a laugh.

“Good luck with that,” said Cooper.

“Good luck with what?” 

Both Cooper and Kurt looked over to find Viv entering the kitchen, looking at both of them before heading to the coffee pot. Kurt opened his mouth to reply, but Cooper jumped in before he could answer.

“Kurt was just telling me about a surprise he wants to give Blaine in glee club next week. We’ve got to keep it a secret, though,” said Cooper, putting on the charming smile he had first given Kurt that morning. Viv hummed softly in reply as she sipped her coffee before turning to the two of them.

“Speaking of surprises, Blaine doesn’t know that Cooper is here,” said Viv, glancing between the two of them as though she sensed that they had been talking about more than just glee club songs.

“We were going to surprise him yesterday, but then he got lost, and he was dead to the world when you guys came home last night. Both of you were, but he was boneless when I brought him to bed. Takes a lot of stress to reduce him to that,” sighed Cooper. 

“Yes but he’s safe now. It was my fault for letting him outside without watching him, but he’s home safe now and it’s time to move on,” insisted Viv. She turned her gaze to Kurt, smiling softly at him. “Kurt, dear, why don’t you go check on him? Unless you need to get going. We called your dad last night, he said it was alright to stay as long as you’re back before curfew tonight.”

Kurt glanced at Cooper, then at Viv, and felt himself blush a little, although he wasn’t sure why. With a nod, he backed away from them.

“Yeah,” he said. “I think I’ll go check on Blaine.”

He hurried out of the kitchen, feeling a little awkward around Blaine’s family without Blaine there too. Heading back up to Blaine’s room, he took the steps two at a time and strode down the hallway before stopping at the still closed door. 

Slowly, Kurt opened the door and slipped inside, closing it quietly behind him as he had done before. The click of it closing seemed to echo in the silence of the room, and Kurt instantly felt bad when he heard the rustling of blankets on the bed and a soft little whimper.

“Mama?” Blaine’s voice was small and childlike, and Kurt felt the urge to hold and comfort him returning. 

“No, sweetie. It’s Kurt.”

There was more rustling on the bed as Blaine moved around, but Kurt’s eyes weren’t adjusted to the dark, so couldn’t see what he was doing.

“How’s your head?” he asked softly. “Can I turn the light on?” 

Blaine made a little whining noise, then there were more sounds of him moving, and then suddenly the room was lit up with the light of the dim lamp on Blaine’s nightstand. Kurt tried not to laugh at his absolutely adorable boyfriend. Blaine’s hair was even more of a mess than it had been the night before, his eyes were squinted shut, and his t-shirt was rucked nearly up to his chest. Kurt couldn’t resist staying away from him any longer, so he crossed the room in a few strides and sat on the edge of the bed beside Blaine.

“Do you remember yesterday?” asked Kurt softly, bringing a hand up to smooth back Blaine’s insane curls. Blaine leaned his cheek into Kurt’s palm, nuzzling softly.

“Kinda,” mumbled Blaine. “Got lost. Scared. My head hurt. Then you, you save me.”

“That’s almost right. We’ll go with that story,” chuckled Kurt, stroking Blaine’s soft skin with his thumb. Blaine smiled and finally blinked his eyes open, looking up at Kurt innocently. 

“Boyfriend,” said Blaine. He reached up and covered Kurt’s hand with his, pulling it from his face and lacing their fingers together. “I sorry if, if I make, if you worry ‘cause of me.”

“We all worried about you. We didn’t know if you were okay, if you were safe. It was very scary for everyone. But you’re home now and safe. That’s what matters most.” Kurt gave him a reassuring smile and slid his hand out of Blaine’s just long enough to tug his shirt down so it was covering him. Blaine blushed a little before pulling the bed covers up to cover him.

“I wanna tell my parents today,” Blaine told him. “You’re here. I want to say, to say that, to tell them. You’re my boyfriend. Is that okay?”

“Of course.” Kurt smiled and took his hand again. Blaine snuggled back down into the bed, his head resting slightly angled on his pillow so he could look up at Kurt effortlessly, mirroring the smile.

Kurt’s heart gave another thud in his chest. Sure, Blaine’s brother was handsome in a movie star kind of way, but there was no one more beautiful on the planet than Blaine. Everything about him was beautiful, especially his mind. The parts of him that most people seemed to find as Blaine’s biggest faults were the most perfect parts of him, in Kurt’s opinion. 

And then Kurt found himself staring at Blaine’s lips. Perhaps it was the train of thought of Blaine’s beautiful parts that had led him to them. Blaine’s lips were this perfect bow shape when he smiled his little, thoughtful smile. They looked like they would fit to Kurt’s perfectly, and suddenly all Kurt wanted was that perfect first kiss.

Before he realized what he was doing, he leaned forward, pausing a few inches from Blaine’s face. Blaine seemed to wake up below him, his eyes widening as Kurt moved closer. 

“I want to kiss you,” whispered Kurt, his lips so close to Blaine’s.

“Then you, you should,” said Blaine, blinking in anticipation. 

Kurt closed the gap between them, pressing his lips to Blaine’s and…oh. Blaine’s lips were as soft as they looked, and warm like the rest of him. The kiss was chaste and gentle, and after a few long seconds Kurt pulled back. His lips tingled as he pulled back, and he found Blaine staring up at him in awe. 

“That was…” Blaine’s voice was barely audible. “That. Wow.”

Kurt’s cheeks flushed dark red and he bit his lip to hold back the embarrassingly large grin that was trying to spread across his face.

“Yeah it was,” said Kurt. 

“We should,” began Blaine.

“Yeah we should,” finished Kurt.

Both of them surged forward at the same time, their lips colliding a little harder this time. They pressed together like they couldn’t get close enough, then Blaine parted his lips and pressed even closer. Kurt mirrored the action, and soon the kiss became all wet mouths and hesitant tongues. Blaine sat up in an effort to draw Kurt closer, his hand coming up to cup Kurt’s jaw as he deepened the kiss.

It didn’t take long for all the sensation to catch up to Kurt, and he blushed furiously as he finally pulled back, panting softly. He gasped when he saw the look on Blaine’s face. His lips were swollen and parted and his eyes were dark and full of lust. Kurt felt what blood wasn’t tinting his cheeks travel south.

“How’d you learn how to do that?”

It took Blaine a moment to answer as he tried to calm his own reaction to the kiss. Kurt knew what Blaine felt for him physically. He’d seen and felt the evidence of it before, but this was the first time he had shown true interest in reciprocating and Blaine seemed to take notice. 

“I just do what feels right,” Blaine admitted. 

“That definitely felt right,” Kurt said, letting out an awkward little chuckle as he leaned forward and pressed one last little chaste kiss to Blaine’s lips, earning a little gasp of surprise. 

“Kurt…” Blaine whimpered softly.

“Guess what,” said Kurt, pulling back and watching Blaine’s expression change from lust-filled to innocent curious so fast. 

“What?”

“Cooper is downstairs. He’s here to visit you,” Kurt told him. Blaine’s eyes widened almost comically and he suddenly scrambled to get loose of the bed covers. Kurt laughed at how fast Blaine got to his feet and stumbled out of the bedroom as quickly as he could make his body move to go see his brother.

Kurt stayed behind for a moment, closing his eyes and breathing in, savoring the tingle his lips still felt from the kiss. His first kiss. His first three kisses, really. All with his wonderful, sweet, gorgeous boyfriend. It was all still so new and perfect, yet in the back of his mind Kurt now had another thing hanging over him like a dark cloud thanks to Cooper pointing out the flaws in his otherwise perfect life plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh sweet Jesus I hope this turned out decent. Thank you for reading and for all your lovely, lovely comments. I won't be able to update next week probably, as I have a hugely massively gargantuan exam to study for, but I'll try not to keep you guys waiting for too long. Thanks again for reading!


	6. Kurt and Blaine Tell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Blaine finally admit to everyone that they're dating, then they have an important talk, and then Blaine makes a new friend.

Kurt had always thought he would enjoy kissing once he finally got to do it, but nothing could have prepared him for just how much he enjoyed it. He found himself looking forward to the times when he could just be with Blaine in private so they could spend hours with their lips attached. At first it had been tentative, a few pecks every now and then, followed by a furious blush that lasted far longer than the kiss had been.

But it hadn’t taken long before those tentative pecks morphed into more. First they were long, lingering kisses on the mouth. Then they were slow kisses with lips parted and tongues exploring. Once they had crossed the line into making out, there was no going back.

It was usually initiated by Kurt, mostly because Blaine was afraid of getting rejected if the time or place was wrong. He had confessed that to Kurt after their first real make out session, and Kurt promised to never make him feel bad like that. Still, Kurt was always the one to offer first, and Blaine never said no. 

Sometimes it scared Kurt, though. There was always that lingering voice in the back of his mind, reminding him that their whole relationship started because Blaine had a very clear interest in sex with him. There was no way Kurt was ready for that, and he didn’t want Blaine to get the wrong impression each time their make out sessions went a little long and got a little too hot.

Blaine always seemed to know, though, where Kurt’s limits were. He never pushed for more when Kurt told him they needed to stop, and no matter how little or how much they ended up making out, Blaine always seemed to have a happy smile on his face after the fact. As far as Kurt knew, Blaine was a relatively uncomplicated person. All he needed was basic survival care and the comfort of other people to be happy. He was relatively easy to please, even when it came to their growing intimate relationship, and for that Kurt was happy.

The problem with becoming intimate with someone, especially someone as casually physical as Blaine, was that sometimes he found himself thinking of _things_ at literally the worst times. Like in the middle of class, or when he’s dancing around in glee club, or anywhere public, really. Blaine never showed any indications of sharing his problems, and sometimes Kurt found himself envying Blaine being so adorably simple.

Probably the worst part of all his issues, though, was that neither of them had told their friends that they were in a relationship. Mostly Kurt just wanted to avoid any crap his friends might give them. He told himself it was for Blaine’s sake, but really it was selfish. He wanted to keep their relationship secret and pure for as long as he could before he had to share it with others. So far, only Blaine’s parents knew, and everyone else was still just guessing.

They didn’t get to keep their privacy for much longer, though, because people were starting to figure it out after a month of them dating, and Kurt knew the day was coming soon where they would all know. He just had to try to push it off until he told his dad first. The last thing he needed was Finn telling their parents before Kurt did…

………………………

Blaine was nervous. It was a feeling he was getting used to having these days, mostly because of Kurt. He loved Kurt, he loved him so much. Kurt challenged him, changed him, made him feel things he had never felt before. It was scary and new and all at once, and it made Blaine nervous. But what made Blaine nervous even more than all the new feelings Kurt gave him was being around Kurt’s dad, which he was getting ready to go do tonight.

He took a deep breath and stared at himself in the mirror, then reached up to smooth his overly gelled hair down even more. It always looked better when Mama did it, but Cooper was still home – he felt the need to stay longer after Blaine had stupidly gotten lost a couple weeks ago – so Mama and Daddy went out to dinner just the two of them. Blaine thought it was sweet for them to get to go on dates like him and Kurt did. He wanted to have a relationship with Kurt just like theirs.

But if that was ever going to happen, he had to first survive going to Kurt’s for dinner. It was Friday night dinner at Kurt’s house, so all of Kurt’s family was going to be there. Kurt had decided it was the perfect time for them to tell his family they were dating. The thought of facing Kurt’s dad and telling him made Blaine more nervous than he had ever felt before. 

Kurt’s dad was scary. 

It wasn’t because he was mean or anything. Blaine thought he was really nice sometimes, and he was Kurt’s dad, so he couldn’t be all bad. But sometimes it was obvious that he didn’t really like Blaine. Whenever Blaine went to Kurt’s house, Kurt’s dad was always there giving him looks that made him want to hide. Blaine knew that somewhere deep down, Kurt’s dad thought what everyone else thought about him. That he was just some dumb guy who needed too much and wasn’t good enough for Kurt.

He was determined to do what he had to do and prove to Kurt’s dad that he was worthy of being Kurt’s boyfriend, but that didn’t stop the nerves from making his whole body shake.

A knock on the bathroom door made him jump, then he took a deep breath and turned around to open it. Cooper stood there, leaning against the door frame with his hands in his pockets. He took one look at Blaine and snorted a laugh.

“What the..what did you do to your hair, squirt?” Cooper laughed.

Blaine’s brow furrowed and he turned to look back in the mirror. He didn’t think it looked too bad! It was just…really full of gel.

“Mama. She helps, usually. I tried!” Blaine pouted.

“Here. Let me help. I’ll wash it out and we can start over,” said Cooper. He guided Blaine over to the sink and gently pushed him so his head was mostly under the faucet. Blaine trusted Cooper, so he just closed his eyes as he felt Cooper’s hand and warm water on his head as he worked the gel out of his hair. 

Blaine smiled as he let his big brother take care of him. Cooper had always been there for Blaine, ever since the accident. Even when he moved to Los Angeles to try to become an actor, Cooper talked to Blaine often and they Skyped every few days. He loved Cooper, loved the comfort of knowing his big brother was always there to protect him. He loved Cooper’s patience with him and his intuitive understand of Blaine’s needs, and he always loved that Cooper was willing to give up anything if it meant making him happy.

Cooper shut off the water after a few moments, then grabbed a small towel and began to gently squeeze his hair dry. By the time Blaine stood up, the damp strands of hair were beginning to bend and curl as they dried. 

“I would like to know which family member is at fault for this damn curly head of yours,” said Cooper. Blaine could hear the joking in his voice and he smiled.

“Mama says her side,” said Blaine, closing his eyes again as he felt Cooper’s fingers through his hair again. 

“Yeah. Everyone on Dad’s side is bald except Dad. I’ll have to hope like hell it didn’t just skip a generation.” Cooper grabbed the bottle of gel and squirted some in one hand, then took a comb and began to gently style his hair. Blaine opened his eyes to watch.

“How you get so good?” asked Blaine, watching Cooper’s movements in the mirror.

Cooper shrugged. “It’s not so hard. The key is just not too much. You want to look put together, not drowned.”

Blaine blushed a little at that.

“I just don’t want a, to have a bush on my head,” said Blaine. He reached up to touch his hair, but Cooper batted his hand away. 

“No touching. This is only gonna look good if you stay hands off, little bro,” said Cooper. Blaine dropped his hand and let his shoulders fall a little as he kept watching Cooper in the mirror. After a couple of minutes he was done, and it looked a lot better than when Blaine had done it.

“Thanks, Coop!” said Blaine, smiling happily. Now he looked perfect. Except he was missing one thing.

“Whatcha need, buddy?” asked Cooper, as though reading his mind.

Blaine motioned to his neck, then the door, then dropped his hands a took a deep breath.

“Bowtie. On, on my bed,” said Blaine, jerking his hand toward the door again. Cooper nodded and quickly dashed from the bathroom to Blaine’s room and back again before Blaine could barely blink. 

“When did you start wearing bowties?” asked Cooper as he hooked the tie around Blaine’s neck and tucked it under the collar of his shirt before tugging it together and tying it nicely. 

Blaine lifted his chin for him, his blind trust making Cooper smile a little.

“I wore one on, on a date and, Kurt said, he said it was cute,” said Blaine. Cooper chuckled softly and adjusted the tie so it was straight.

“Well, Kurt sounds like he had pretty good taste, then. You look good.” Cooper patted his shoulder, then stepped away. “You ready to go? It’s almost time.”

Blaine looked in the mirror to make sure he looked perfect, then nodded. 

“Ready,” affirmed Blaine. He took another deep breath, and felt his body quiver on the exhale as his nerves settled in once more. 

………………………….

Cooper dropped Blaine off at Kurt’s house and stayed in the driveway while Blaine made his way to the Hummel’s front door. He knocked once and the door opened almost immediately, revealing Kurt.

“Hey,” said Kurt, grinning so wide Blaine could see his teeth. It made Blaine’s heart thump hard in his chest.

“Hi,” said Blaine. He glanced back to see Cooper wave as he backed out of the driveway, and he waved back before stepping inside Kurt’s house.

It was always warm in Kurt’s house. Warm and cozy and always smelling like cookies. Blaine’s house was bigger and warm in a different way, warm like home. Kurt’s house was where Kurt was when he wasn’t with Blaine, and that made Kurt’s house a special place. 

As soon as the door was closed behind him, Blaine felt Kurt’s arms around him and he sunk into the embrace willingly. He always felt his body go slack and melt against Kurt’s every time they hugged. He pressed his face into Kurt’s neck as he felt Kurt’s arms around him, comforting and strong. He wanted to stay there forever, but Kurt pulled back and rested his hands on Blaine’s arms, almost holding him up.

“You look so handsome, Blaine. Did you do your hair by yourself?” Kurt began fussing over him a little, brushing his fingers along Blaine’s hairline, then down his cheek. Blaine smiled at the touch. 

“Cooper helped me,” said Blaine. “I tried, but, but I used way too much. So Cooper washed, then helped.”

“Well that was nice of him. He did a good job,” said Kurt. He reached down and took his hand, and Blaine watched as he twined their fingers together. “My family is in the dining room, waiting. I figured we could just, you know, tell them right away. So that we get it over with. How do you feel about that?”

Blaine shrugged. He didn’t really know. It was Kurt’s family. He didn’t know how Kurt’s family would react to them. His own family had been more than supportive. In fact, Mama had started crying happy tears. That was because she was just happy he got to have a boyfriend like a normal teenager. Kurt’s family wouldn’t think like that, he was sure. Kurt’s family didn’t know him that well. He was strange to them. 

And Blaine knew how people reacted to strange. 

“That’s fine,” said Blaine eventually. Kurt squeezed his hand. It would be fine. Blaine was prepared for the worst, mostly because when it came to others he didn’t know that well he was always prepared for the worst.

“Good.” Kurt leaned toward him and gave him a quick peck on the lips. Blaine felt his cheeks warm up, but he didn’t have time to linger on the feeling before Kurt was leading him from the entryway down the hall. Blaine felt his nerves returning with each shape, and he was nearly shaking when Kurt finally pulled him into the dining room.

“Hello family!” Kurt announced, a nervous smile on his face. “Blaine and I have something very exciting to tell you all.”

Blaine glanced over the people in front of him. Kurt’s dad was looking at him with an odd expression, Finn was looking at the food already set out on the table impatiently, and Carole was smiling up at him kindly. He liked Carole. She was nice like Mama.

“Hello Blaine,” Carole said, almost like she could sense his nerves.

“Hi,” said Blaine softly, looking down to avoid eye contact. Eye contact only made him more nervous.

“So what’s this exciting news?” asked Burt. His voice was harsh, but not on purpose. He just sounded like that. Blaine was used to people making themselves sound softer for him, so that they weren’t so scary. Burt didn’t do that, and that’s what made Blaine so nervous around him.

“There has been much speculation from our friends and family over the last few weeks about the status of our relationship, and I am proud to announce that we have officially been boyfriends for one month as of tomorrow,” said Kurt, grinning proudly as he lifted their clasped hands. 

There was silence for a moment before Carole spoke.

“Oh, honey, that’s wonderful!” said Carole enthusiastically. She stood up and hurried over to them, grabbing Kurt up in a quick hug, then Blaine. Blaine’s eyes widened at the woman’s embrace, barely having time to hug back before Carole was heading back to hear seat.

Burt had remained silent until Kurt turned his attention to his father, waiting for his reaction. The older man took a deep breath, then exhaled before sitting up in his seat.

“You, uh, you sure about this?” asked Burt, gesturing between the two of them.

Blaine tightened his grip on Kurt’s hand.

“Of course we are,” said Kurt confidently. “Blaine and I have been treading very carefully and taking it one day at a time, and it’s working out wonderfully. I can honestly say I’ve never been happier.”

Blaine chanced a glance up at Burt, and found the man was staring at him with a contemplative expression. Blaine could just tell that Burt was thinking about whether Blaine was good enough for Kurt or not.

“Alright,” said Burt. “If he makes you happy, if you make each other happy, then I’m happy. Now let’s eat. I think Finn is starving.”

With that, Burt turned to the table and began to fill his plate. Kurt let out a sigh beside him, and Blaine could sense his relief. Then Kurt released his hand and stepped toward the table, pulling out one of the two empty chairs that were side by side. Blaine gave him a little smile and sat down. Kurt sat beside him and Blaine watched Kurt putting food on both their plates, Blaine’s first.

“Can’t he do that himself?” asked Burt, watching them.

“Kurt always does that,” said Finn around a mouthful of chicken breast. Kurt narrowed his eyes at Finn, then went back to fixing Blaine’s plate.

“This entire meal was prepared to fit Blaine’s specific dietary needs, and I don’t want him to overeat,” explained Kurt. Blaine sunk down into his seat a little, his cheeks burning.

“So you’re not just his boyfriend, you’re his caretaker now, too?” asked Burt. Carole hissed something Blaine couldn’t hear under her breath, and Burt held his hands up. “Hey, it’s just a question.”

“I’m both, yes,” said Kurt, finishing serving both of them. “I enjoy helping him. He could serve himself if I left him to it, right Blaine?”

“I can, yes, I can. I do,” murmured Blaine, reaching for his fork. He was perfectly capable of serving himself, but at home, he let others do it for him when they wanted to, mostly because Mama had been doing it for him since as long as he could remember. He did tend to take too much on his own, though, and Kurt knew that. 

“Kurt’s always helping him at school,” said Finn. “Like eating, and school, and glee club. We all kind of figured they were dating. Otherwise why would you do all those things for someone?”

“I don’t know, Finn, maybe because I’m a nice person?” Kurt sent a glare across the table to his step-brother. Finn didn’t respond.

Blaine looked down at his plate and began to eat his vegetables. He didn’t want to be the cause of conflict between Kurt and his family, but it seemed like just his presence caused enough tension. 

Burt and Carole began to talk about some interesting things that had happened at work during the week, and Blaine just listened quietly while picking at his food. After a while, he felt something brush his thigh and he looked down to see Kurt’s hand resting on his leg. His eyes widened for a moment, until Kurt’s palmed turned up and Blaine smiled, dropping his own hand to fit into Kurt’s. 

Just that little bit of contact instantly made him feel better. His heart gave a heavy thud in his chest, and he smiled, just from the comfort of Kurt’s touch. He was careful with telling Kurt that he loved him, because he knew Kurt wasn’t ready to say it back, but if this wasn’t how love was supposed to be, then Blaine really didn’t know what love was.

“So, Blaine, are your parents okay with this?” Burt asked midway through the meal. Blaine looked up at the mention of his name and froze for a moment, processing what Burt had said before he realized he had been asked a question.

“Um. Yes,” said Blaine. “Mama, she, she was so happy. She says she wants me, for me to have a normal life. Daddy too. They know how that, how good Kurt is for me. He’s so good, he knows how to take, take good care of me. They trust him, he’s good. I, I trust him. I lo-I like him. A lot.” 

Blaine felt Kurt squeeze his hand and he glanced over to see Kurt smiling widely as he stroked his thumb over Blaine’s knuckles. 

“I don’t see a problem with the two of you dating, even with you being the way you are. I just don’t want to see either of you limiting yourselves or doing something that’s not healthy for either of you, for now or in the future. There could be a lot of problems for the two of you to work out someday, and you’ll have to handle it maturely. Are you both ready for that?” Burt looked at them both pointedly, and Kurt sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Of course we are,” said Kurt confidently. “Blaine and I aren’t treating this like some regular high school relationship that isn’t going to last. We are going to last.”

Blaine grinned hearing Kurt say that. He wanted nothing more than for Kurt to be his forever. He couldn’t imagine loving anyone else more than he loved Kurt.

“Can we stop talking about it? You guys are being all gross and cute and it’s kind of making me gag,” said Finn. He froze as soon as he said it, then backtracked quickly. “Not because, you know, you’re both guys or anything. Just. You know. I’m eating, and…”

“We get it, Finn,” said Kurt shortly. Blaine laughed softly, then let go of Kurt’s hand so he could finish eating too.

The rest of their meal went smoothly after that, everyone making small talk while eating the delicious meal that Kurt had prepared. Blaine stayed quiet, as he usually did. He could talk, he did that with Kurt all the time, but talking in groups intimidated him. It took him so long to say things sometimes that he felt bad for making people have to wait so long just to hear what he had to say. It was different at home. Mama and Daddy and Cooper were used to the way he spoke, and they acted like patience wasn’t any big deal. But Blaine knew other people were different, so he just didn’t speak at all.

After dinner, Kurt and Blaine disappeared up to Kurt’s room, with Burt calling after them to leave the door open. Upstairs, Blaine asked Kurt why they had to do that.

“He doesn’t want us to come up here and have sex,” said Kurt, blushing furiously when he said it. Blaine’s eyes widened and he blushed too. “Not that that’s what we would be doing anyway!”

Inside Kurt’s room, he sat on the bed and watched Kurt fidget nervously, reorganizing the stack of books on his desk, facing away from him. It was quiet for a moment, and Blaine knew something was wrong.

“You don’t want sex?” asked Blaine, looking up at him with his head cocked to the side. Kurt took a deep breath and turned slightly to face him.

“It’s not that I don’t want it. I do, I just, I know how much you do and that scares me,” admitted Kurt. 

Blaine raised both eyebrows, then stood up and took a step toward Kurt, reaching out for him. Kurt just stared at Blaine for a moment, then folded his arms in front of himself. Blaine hated making Kurt uncomfortable, so he retreated and sat back on the bed.

“I don’t want it,” said Blaine. “I did, maybe, that day. That day you’re thinking of. That time, but only that time. I don’t think, all the time, that I need it. Or want it. I like what we do, I’m happy with that. I’m not ready, not really. Sex isn’t one person, its two people. Its how two people feel, together, feeling together. And I want us to feel the same before we do.”

Kurt stared at him for a moment, then smiled and reached out to stroke Blaine’s cheek softly, and Blaine leaned into the touch.

“Daddy told me that, he said boys get, our, we get excited over anything, because of a lot of things. But our hearts wait for that special person, and we shouldn’t do anything with anyone until both parts want it just the same. And then it’s only good when, only if both people’s hearts and bodies want it too.”

The room was silent for a moment as Blaine stopped speaking. He watched Kurt’s lips part ever so slightly, and he could hear the little puff of breath escape before Kurt smiled a tiny smile at him.

“Don’t ever let anyone tell you you’re not smart. You’re the most intelligent boy I know,” said Kurt. He lowered himself onto the bed beside Blaine, then leaned over to rest his head on Blaine’s shoulder.

“Just. I don’t. Please don’t be scared of me,” whispered Blaine. “I’m the scared one. I, I, I just, I need my Kurt strong.”

Kurt’s arm looped around his, and he hugged Blaine’s arm into his side and titled his head so he could kiss Blaine’s neck softly.

“I’m not scared of you. I know you would never hurt me. I think…I didn’t know your expectations. That’s what scared me,” admitted Kurt. 

Blaine furrowed his brow as his mind worked for a moment. Kurt was patient with him, giving him the time he needed to think.

“I can talk,” said Blaine. “I don’t, sometimes I don’t always get it. Sometimes I’m not, can’t say it. Sometimes I, I’m just dumb and, and, I can’t think. But if you, if, if you need something, anything from me, just talk, just ask. I’m here. Boyfriend.”

Kurt smiled, and in the silence that followed, just for a moment, Blaine thought that Kurt might say he loved Blaine. His heart thudded heavy and hard in his chest for a few beats, and his breath sped up until Kurt sat up and pulled away. 

“Want to make out?” asked Kurt, looking at Blaine with the suggestive look he got when he was in the mood for kissing. 

Biting his lip, Blaine looked down at his lap, then gave a little shrug. He always wanted to make out, at least a little bit, but he felt exhausted after the tense dinner and all the talking he had done. 

“Maybe, today, maybe we can just lay down? Cuddles?” asked Blaine, looking up at Kurt hopefully.

Kurt smiled and squeezed his arm.

“Of course. That sounds wonderful.” Kurt kissed his shirt covered shoulder before climbing up on the bed, laying on his slide and patting the covers beside him. Blaine moved slowly, carefully as he toed off his shoes and tugged his bowtie loose. Then he climbed onto the bed and laid beside Kurt, his back to Kurt’s chest, and closed his eyes as he felt the warm weight of Kurt’s arm wrap around his waist.

This. This was home. Not his house where he did his living, with the safety and always protective comfort of his parents and big brother. This. Kurt’s arm wrapped around him, his chest pressed against Blaine’s back, his knees tucked up to the back of Blaine’s thighs, the warm puff of Kurt’s breath against the sensitive back of his neck. This was home.

………………………...

The next Monday, Kurt and Blaine both heard whispers all day long. Kurt had told Blaine that Finn probably hadn’t kept his mouth shut long enough to wait for them to admit their relationship to their friends themselves. The whole school apparently knew that the only two openly gay boys in the whole school were now a couple, which made them ripe pickings for bullies. 

By lunch time, Blaine was trying very, very hard not to let any of their cutting insults bring down the joy of holding hands with his wonderful Kurt. It grew more difficult by the minute though. He and Kurt ate their lunch quickly, then retreated to the library until class started. For the rest of the day, Blaine kept his head down and blocked out anything anyone said to him, at least until glee club.

Glee club was safe. Kurt had promised him that in the beginning, and Blaine had found it to be true. Sure that Quinn girl was sort of standoffish sometimes and Puck was loud and Santana could be really, _really_ mean when she wanted, but for the most part they were nice to him. Brittany told him she thought he was a genius once, and he was pretty sure she meant it. Rachel was becoming his best-friend-that-was-a-girl. He once called her his best girl friend, and everyone had instantly thought they were dating, which really confused him until Kurt explained it.

The other people were nice to him as well, even though he didn’t really know them. They were all Kurt’s friends, which made them good people in Blaine’s mind. They didn’t seem to mind when Kurt and Blaine walked into glee club together that Monday holding hands, and for the most part everyone seemed to quiet down and listen supportively when Kurt formally told them the news.

The girls seemed happy for Kurt, which Blaine liked. Blaine knew Kurt had been bullied, and that Kurt had once felt like he’d never find a boyfriend, and all of Kurt’s friends were happy that he finally had. Well. Except for one.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let me get this gay. You decided to date _literally_ the first out guy you’ve ever met?” The voice belong to Santana Lopez, who Blaine had never actually spoken too in all his months at McKinley. He always thought she would be really pretty if she wasn’t constantly glaring at everyone. 

“Blaine and I like each other very much,” said Kurt, lifting his chin indignantly.

“Are you kidding? The guy only has like half a brain. Rumor has it, he has a lower GPA than Brittany. You expect us to believe that _he’s_ the most suitable mating partner you could find? That’s the best you could do?” Santana laughed, but no one else joined her.

Blaine didn’t fully comprehend what she was saying, but from what he caught of it, it was bad. And aimed right at him. He hung his head, feeling hurt by her words. He knew she was just mean to everyone, but it still cut deep to hear her say in front of so many people that he wasn’t good enough for Kurt, just because he was a little slower than “normal” people.

“Santana, you’re a bitch,” Kurt stated. He grabbed Blaine’s hand and led him over to their chairs on the opposite side of the room. They sat down just as Mr. Schuester entered the room from his office to begin rehearsal.

It seemed to drag on forever for Blaine, who usually spent more time just sitting in his chair watching than actually participating. He kept his head down and avoided looking at anyone, trying to stop thinking about how it seemed there was no one except his parents that seemed to think he was good enough for Kurt. There had to be some way he could prove that he was…

After glee club ended, everyone began to head out. Blaine followed Kurt, since Kurt was his ride home for the day. In the hallway, everyone was too busy excitedly talking about how amazing the numbers for regionals were turning out to see the gang of jocks advancing on them. Blaine, always trailing behind the group, saw them and his eyes widened when he noticed the cups in their hands.

He had never been slushied before. He had his brain damage to thank for that. It seemed they could torment him verbally all they liked, but they drew the line at dumping flavored ice on his head. But he had witnessed it plenty of times, seen Kurt come to class in completely different outfits than he had been wearing earlier in the day, seen Rachel come to glee club with her hair wet and plastered to her head covered in bits of ice, and been told countless times how lucky he was never to have experienced it before.

They were coming fast, advancing on the glee club and Blaine could see those cups aiming right for his Kurt. 

Just as the others seemed to finally notice the approach of the jocks, it was too late to stop them from throwing the contents of their cups at their intended target. 

The ice seemed to fly through the air in slow motion as Blaine let his instincts to protect the boy he loved take over. He leapt in front of Kurt, shoving him back and accidentally colliding with Santana all at once. As Kurt stumbled back and Santana was pushed to the side, the cold ice hit Blaine’s face like a cruel slap.

For a beat, there was a stunned silence. Then Blaine was crying as the flavored ice burned his eyes and chilled him quick and deep to the bone. The girls and Kurt were surrounding him in an instant, trying to comfort him and wipe him off as he cringed and sobbed and pawed at his eyes with his fingers, trying to make the stinging go away.

Why did he do that? Why why why, oh why did he do that? It hurt, it hurt so bad he shivered and cringed and curled in on himself, and each time he thought his eyes were free of the torturous ice, more seemed to slide down into them. He didn’t even both holding back his sobs as he felt himself slipping, his mind a frenzy of disjointed thoughts as he just tried to _make it stop_. 

Kurt was there, holding his wrists and trying to draw his attention, to make him stay present with him, but the longer Kurt held him the more the rest of the ice burned his eyes and he wanted it to stop now please stop! How could the others possibly stand this? It hurt so bad!

Then there was someone else beside him, someone grabbing his arm and tugging him forward. He stumbled after, his head down and his hands instinctively trying to grab his hair, to hide his head and protect his face. He was led into another room, and when the door closed he could no longer hear the enraged voices of the rest of the glee club. All he could hear was his own cries and Kurt and…Santana?

“Go get him some dry clothes,” Santana was saying as she began to undo the buttons of his shirt. Confused and shaking, Blaine tried to bat her hands away, but she just kept doing it. “Hush, it’s okay. I’m helping.”

She pushed his button down off his shoulders, leaving him shivering and still crying in just a white tank top. Then she took his hand and guided him toward a sink. Bathroom. They must be in the bathroom, Blaine concluded. 

The water was warm as she helped him bend and put his head under the faucet. He closed his eyes, the burning from the ice fading into a slightly lesser burn from his tears. The cold began to fade as Santana’s fingers combed through his hair, melting the ice and cleaning him off. 

“You’re okay. It’s gonna be okay,” whispered Santana, her voice kinder than he had ever heard before. He latched onto it and focused on her, trying so hard to keep himself from falling into an episode that his head began to ache.

Eventually the water shut off and Santana was wiping him off with a handful of paper towels. She squeezed most of the water from his hair and wiped his face until he was mostly dry. Kurt returned then, and Blaine stood with his head down and his eyes closed as he let Kurt dress him in a new, clean shirt that was a little too long in the arms and a little too tight around the shoulders, but smelled so much of Kurt and it was like being wrapped up in his arms.

Then he was being hugged, but not by the arms he had just been imagining, but by Santana, who hugged him tight around his shoulders and held him tight. 

“You stupid idiot, you shouldn’t have done that,” she whispered into his ear. She gave him another tight squeeze, then stepped back. “But thank you. You’re a real friend.”

Blaine looked at her, his brow furrowed, then gave her a little smile. He wasn’t sure what she was talking about. He shouldn’t have stepped in front of the slushy? But then Kurt would have got it and Kurt would be the one cold and wet and miserable being forced to change into different clothes. Seeing Kurt in pain hurt worse more than his own pain.

“Thank you for helping, Satan,” said Kurt from behind Blaine. Blaine glanced back at him, then reached up to wipe the last of the tears from his eyes before looking back at Santana.

“Why?” asked Blaine. “You don’t, you hate me.”

Santana scoffed. “Don’t pretend to be so special. I hate everybody.” 

“Except Brittany,” said Blaine softly. He sniffled and wiped at his eyes again. “You don’t hate her. I see, see the way you look at her.”

Santana was silent, eyeing him suspiciously for a few moments before she grabbed her backpack off the floor.

“Everyone knows we’re dating, Special Ed,” Santana snapped.

“Don’t call him that. Ever.” Kurt stepped up, putting half his body in front of Blaine to shield him from her. 

“Don’t be so sensitive. Jesus. It’s like watching a mother bear protect her cub. I’m _helping_ him. Because I _like_ him. And he kept us both from getting slushied. So yeah. I’m thankful. But it doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop being a bitch.” Santana rolled her eyes at them both as she pushed past them and headed towards the door. Before she left, though, she paused and turned back to them, not quite making eye contact as she spoke softly. “By the way, I’m sorry for earlier. You’re better than anyone knows. Don’t let anyone, including me, bring you down.”

And then she left. Blaine played her words over in his mind, knowing they were meant for him.

“She’s such a bitch sometimes,” said Kurt, pulling Blaine from his thoughts and drawing his attention back to him.

“She thought, that I, that the slushy was for her. I thought, for you. That’s why I, she thought I did for her,” said Blaine softly. He reached for Kurt’s hand, wanting so badly the contact with him. 

“She’s still a bitch. I can’t get over what she said in the choir room today. It was so uncalled for. You were so hurt, I could tell,” said Kurt, drawing him closer by his hand.

“I was. But. She’s just. People don’t get her. I know how, what that’s like. They don’t understand. Don’t be mean to her. It make her worse.” Blaine leaned into Kurt, looking up at him tiredly. 

Kurt sighed and looked into his eyes, then gave him a quick peck on the lips, which he had never dared to do at school before. Blaine tried to chase his lips as he pulled back, but gave up quickly.

“Let’s get you home. It’s been a tough day for you. I don’t want to talk about anyone else but us for the rest of the day, okay?” Kurt squeezed his hand and gave him a hopeful little smile.

Blaine nodded and put some space between them, still holding his hand. Exhaustion was starting to set in and as they walked out of the bathroom and down the now empty school hallway, he let himself get distracted hoping that maybe he could convince Kurt to stay the night with him. 

Even some of his worst days were made better just because Kurt was his boyfriend and always by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took so long! I'm hoping to be back to once a week updates until this is done. Although this chapter probably wins the award for the most boring title I could possibly come up with, I really hope it was good for you guys!


	7. Blaine Talks, Everyone Listens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine has numerous conversations. Some end badly, while others have the very best outcome.

Blaine sat across the table from Santana at the Lima Bean, sipping his hot chocolate and taking little bites of a really good piece of biscotti. Kurt had been busy that afternoon, helping his dad at work, and Blaine had been ready to go straight home after glee club until Santana stopped him on his way out the door. She asked if he wanted to get coffee with her, and he didn’t mind just spending time with her. 

So there they sat, awkwardly silent. Blaine wondered why she had asked him if she didn’t particularly want anything from him. After a while, it was too awkward even for him, and he had to speak.

“I know why you’re mean to people,” he said softly, not really looking up to make eye contact.

“And why’s that?” she asked, sounding more than a little defensive. Blaine flinched a little at her tone.

“Because you, you’re afraid. Because someone, they, they judged you. And it hurt you. And you, you don’t know how, or, or if you could deal with it again,” said Blaine. He finally looked up at her, blinking as he felt her eyes on him, studying him. “I was, I had people, every single day, call me stupid. And fag. And retard. _Every day_. And it still happens. I just. When it, when everything started, I was, I just go so angry. I wanted to scream! But, angry didn’t stop it. I think. Maybe. Maybe you’re stuck there.”

Santana stayed quiet for a moment, then sipped her own latte and sighed.

“I was outed before I was ready. I mean, it’s not like people didn’t know. But no one said anything. And then one day everyone was talking. And laughing. And I didn’t get a choice. I should have got to come out when I was ready to face all that. And then my abuela. When I told her I love girls, she never wanted to speak to me again. I wasn’t ready for that. I still…have problems. Accepting myself,” Santana admitted. She finally looked down, and Blaine could see and hear the shame in her words. 

“I didn’t get a choice either,” said Blaine. “For any of it. One day I just, woke up. I woke up, and the world was…different. People looked and sounded different. I was different. When I went to school, they all knew. Everyone knew. It’s like I had, like there was this, a big sign above my head. Different! Different! Figure out how and, and you get to make fun of him! And they did. Don’t know how, but they did. And one day, they just knew. Hey everyone, Blaine’s gay! They knew, before I even knew what that meant.”

Santana stared at him, unblinking, her face stoic for a full minute before she leaned forward and reached a hand across the table. Blaine gave her a little smile and fit his palm in hers. It was weird, for a moment, but then it was just comforting like he was used to. Santana gave his hand a little squeeze.

“You kind of make me feel like I shouldn’t complain about anything,” said Santana. All the mean was gone from her eyes and now she just looked like a scared little girl. 

“Don’t,” said Blaine. He squeezed her hand again before letting it go, letting her have her space again. “It’s not, it isn’t a competition. Not to, to see how bad we have it. Everyone has bad times, they all deal differently.”

After taking another sip from her cup, Santana let out a long sigh before shaking her head and looking back at him.

“You can’t even read. How are you so smart?” 

Blaine shrugged one shoulder. “When others are reading, I’m thinking. Gives me time to work things out.”

“I could use a friend like you,” said Santana. “I’ve got Brittany, and she’s great. I love her so much. She gets me. But you just…you don’t want anything from me. You don’t expect anything of me. It’s refreshing.”

“And I could use a friend like you,” said Blaine. He looked up at her through his eyelashes and added, “Mostly because I don’t have many friends.”

Santana sat back in her seat and slouched a little, her eyes filling with sympathy as she toyed with her copy cup more. It was a look that Blaine wasn’t accustomed to seeing on her, and he guessed she rarely let herself feel that way. To show sympathy to others was to show weakness in that hard shell of hers, and it made Blaine have that much more respect for her. 

“Has anyone told you you’re kind of pathetic?” asked Santana, not in the mean way she usually spoke, but just sounding kind of defeated.

“Yeah,” said Blaine. “My brother. He says it. Just as a joke, though. He never means it.”

“Yeah,” nodded Santana. “A joke.”

Blaine opened his mouth, about to reply, when he felt a huge yawn taking over. He ducked his head as he finished the yawn with a little squeak, then blushed as Santana laughed. 

“That was freakin’ adorable,” said Santana through her laughter. Blaine couldn’t help but laugh softly with her as he rubbed at his eyes. “All this talking made you tired, huh? I can drive you home.”

Blaine nodded. “Please. I would, would like that. Thank you.”

They both were about to stand up to leave when Santana reached across the table to take his hand again. She looked at him sincerely, the most sincerely he’d ever seen her look at anyone, even more than Brittany. 

“I’m sorry for everything I’ve said to you that made you feel like crap. I didn’t realize how much you already understood…”

Blaine squeezed back, offering her a tentative smile. “S’ok. I do. I do understand.”

She smiled, then dropped his hand as they left the Lima Bean. As she drove him home, Blaine looked out the car window, thinking. Few people knew what it was like to have Santana Lopez actually be nice to them, and he was one of them. It was kind of weird, and he didn’t know how or if their friendship would really progress from there. But mostly it was just nice to have another person he could call friend.

………………………..

Regionals was one week away, and it seemed that was all any of Blaine’s friends could talk about suddenly. Even Kurt was so preoccupied that he hadn’t come home with Blaine once in the last few days. Blaine became so overwhelmed with all their enthusiasm that he decided to just stop going to glee club until this whole regionals business was over. It wasn’t like they need him there or anything. He only went because that’s where his friends were and he liked spending time with Kurt.

If he wanted music, all he had to do was go to the music room in his house and play the piano or listen to his parents’ old albums. He loved the record player. When he was little, after the accident, he used to watch the records spin and wonder how the music came out of it. Daddy had tried to explain it to him once, but he didn’t understand a word of it.

Blaine felt a little sad that no one seemed to notice his absence from glee club. Not even Kurt. He told his Mama to start picking him up right after school, since no one was bothered to drive him home. He went straight from the car into his music room so that he could sit down at the piano and play until dinner time. 

Playing the piano was the best. He could close his eyes and stop thinking and let every feeling flow through his fingers and onto the keys. Everything he played always sounded good, even if it was just his emotions making it up. It was like his brain had forgotten everything except how to make beautiful music. That was ingrained in his soul, like an instinct. 

After three days in a row of this new routine, Blaine was surprised when Mama knocked on the door of the music room and came inside much earlier than usual. He paused in his playing and waited for her to speak.

“Your friend Rachel is here,” Mama said, giving him a little smile. “She’s a…lovely girl. A little louder than I expected.”

Blaine ducked his head and chuckled softly. “Let her in.”

Mama nodded and stepped back out of the room, but he wasn’t alone again for long. The door nearly burst open to reveal Rachel Berry, who scanned the room quickly before marching over to him, her hands on her hips.

“Blaine Anderson!” snapped Rachel, looking down her nose at him. 

He raised both eyebrows and cringed a little. She sounded like she might be mad at him for something, and he didn’t know what he could have done to make her mad. Luckily for him, when she saw his expression, Rachel seemed to relax a little as she dropped her arms. 

“You haven’t been coming to glee club,” said Rachel, leaning against the piano to look down at him. 

Blaine’s shoulders slumped a little as he looked down at his fingers. They twitched on the keys, like it was instinct to play rather than speak his feelings. Rachel noticed the movement and moved to sit on the piano bench beside him. 

“Did we do something to chase you away? Or was it Kurt? You two didn’t break up, did you?” Rachel asked the questions in quick succession, and Blaine only caught the last part of it, his eyes going wide.

“No! No, Kurt, no. No. We, we never! Don’t…don’t say it,” said Blaine defensively.

“Whoa, Blaine, it’s okay. It was just a question. You and Kurt are just fine,” said Rachel, putting a comforting hand on his back. He took a deep breath, then hung his head again, his cheeks bright red. “I just had to ask, because regionals is right around the corner and you know I need you to practice my solo.”

“No you don’t,” mumbled Blaine. “You, you’re perfect. Just perfect.”

“Yeah, but I have to practice with my accompanist, to make sure you’re perfect to match my exceptional vocals,” said Rachel, looking at him pointedly. 

Blaine didn’t look up, mostly because he didn’t really understand what she meant. She took his silence as a sign to continue talking.

“I mean, this is going to be your first show choir competition, and you might get nervous. I just need to make sure that you’ve got the song down and that you won’t mess up. Not that I think you will, it’s just that you’ve never even looked at the sheet music and I’d hate for you to miss a note and throw me off in front of all those people.”

As she spoke, it finally began to sink in for Blaine what she was talking about. Slowly it began to make sense and the more sense it made the faster the panic grew inside Blaine. Soon his fingers were trembling and his breathing was rapid and Rachel finally shut up when she noticed something was wrong with him.

“Blaine? Are you okay?” she asked, sounding dramatically concerned. She put her hands on his shaking ones and held them, not sure how else to calm him.

“You, you said, I, you, said I had, said, I,” Blaine stuttered, gasping as he felt a twinge of pain come from behind his eyes. 

“Shhh,” Rachel rubbed his arm gently, trying to get him to relax. “It’s okay, Blaine, it’s okay. Deep breaths. It’s okay. What did I say?”

“You said,” Blaine paused, taking a deep breath and letting it out through his nose. “You said I have to, I’m gonna play for you.”

“Well yeah,” said Rachel, keeping her voice softer now. “I thought we agreed that you would play for me during the competition, since you’ve been practicing with me.”

“I play, before, ‘cause you ask. Not, not on stage, no. Not in front of people. I can’t. Can’t do that,” Blaine mumbled, shaking his head as he finally calmed his breathing down.

“But I already told Mr. Schue that you would. It’s just one song, Blaine. Just one song, and all you have to do is play the piano. Just like you always do. You’re amazing. So talented. It would be a shame not to share your gift with the world,” Rachel told him. 

Blaine didn’t look at her. He just closed his eyes and rested his still trembling fingers on the piano, playing soft little staccato notes in the silence as Rachel waited for him to speak. Eventually, he opened his lips to let out a little sigh, and spoke quietly.

“Okay. I do it,” he said. Rachel let out a high pitched squeal that made him cringe, then hugged him tight. He winced, everything about her just kind of making him feel a little like he needed a nap and a lot like he needed one of those big pain pills Mama gave him when he didn’t feel good. 

But Rachel was his friend, so he endured her visit anyway, and when she finally went home, he went straight up to his room and curled up under the covers of his bed. Sometime later, Mama came in and shut all the curtains, making the room covered in darkness. He didn’t wake up in time for school the next morning, and no one forced him to go.

……………………….

Kurt had noticed Blaine’s absence at glee club the few days prior, but there wasn’t much he could do about it. One of the guys at his dad’s shop was out sick and he volunteered to fill in because he needed the money. He had finally received his letter from NYADA with his audition date, which was two weeks after regionals, and he wanted to have the perfect outfit. He had been so preoccupied with thinking about his audition and everything that he had almost forgotten to be concerned about Blaine until Blaine finally didn’t show up to school at all.

After glee club rehearsal, Kurt called his dad and let him know he wouldn’t be coming in that afternoon, and he headed straight for Blaine’s house. He rang the doorbell and was greeted by Blaine’s mom, who told him that Blaine was upstairs in his room and would be happy to see him. Kurt smiled and headed straight to Blaine’s room quickly, then knocked once on the door before letting himself in.

Blaine was sitting on his bed, surrounded by the workbooks that Kurt had bought for him a few months ago. He wanted so badly to be able to read and write and be as smart as Kurt, but he had a long way to go. It seemed that no one had really wanted to try to teach him before Kurt came along, or maybe Blaine just didn’t want to learn before then.

“Kurt!” Blaine looked up, surprised but happy to see him. He was about to get up but Kurt held up a hand to stop him.

“Don’t get up. I’ll come to you.” Kurt chuckled softly and walked over, toeing off his shoes before climbing onto the bed beside Blaine. He looked to see Blaine had been working on some basic math, and he smiled proudly.

“Mama said since I didn’t go to school that, she said I should do this. I was gonna call, maybe, later, just to, just to hear your voice. Missed you.” Blaine smiled and leaned toward him, bumping their shoulders together. Kurt tipped his head toward Blaine and caught his lips in a sweet little kiss.

Blaine melted into the kiss, pressing closer and shuffling to his knees so he could get closer to Kurt. Kurt laid back on the bed and put both hands on Blaine’s waist, holding him above him as he looked up at Blaine. It had been over a week since they had properly kissed, and he realized just how much he missed making out with Blaine. He welcomed the feeling of Blaine’s lips against his, sucking gently and his soft tongue pressing insistently at the crease of Kurt’s mouth, wanting permission to deepen the kiss. 

They kissed, deeper and more passionate as the minutes ticked by, until both their lips were numb and their bodies hummed with pleasure. After a while, Blaine tried to move closer, slipping one leg between Kurt’s and straddling his thigh. Kurt gasped into Blaine’s mouth and his grip tightened on Blaine’s waist when he felt the unmistakable hardness of Blaine’s erection pressed against him.

“Blaine…what are you…?” Kurt panted softly, glancing down. Blaine whined, his hips rocking a little as he dropped his forehead down to press into Kurt’s neck. Kurt felt a little surge of panic and he quickly slid his hands down to Blaine’s hips, grabbing hold of him and pushing him off. 

He rolled onto his back, gasping as he looked up at Kurt in surprise and confusion. Kurt stared at him, his mind reeling from what just happened and what he just felt. Part of him was freaking out because he just felt another boy’s hard penis pressed against him and another part of him was demanding he roll on top of Blaine and go for more more more.

But the rational part of his brain won and he sat up quickly, trying to compose himself before turning back to Blaine.

“What happened to no sex until we talked about it?” asked Kurt, feeling bad as soon as he said it when he saw the ashamed look on Blaine’s face. His poor boyfriend looked frozen and terrified, like he had done something wrong. Kurt sighed and reached for his hand. “Hey. Kidding. It’s okay, honey. You didn’t do anything wrong. I was just surprised.” 

“I…sorry,” squeaked Blaine, finally scrambling to sit up and drawing his legs up to hug them to his chest.

“Maybe…maybe we should talk about it,” offered Kurt. Blaine’s cheeks flushed almost instantly as his eyes widened. Kurt chuckled softly, feeling his own blush grow across his cheeks. “We’ve always kept our hands, you know, above the equator. But, maybe…we could possibly, you know. Do something. More?”

“A-are you sure?” Blaine stuttered softly, his body still curled up tight and protected. Kurt scooted a little closer to him and reached out, setting his hand on Blaine’s knee, causing him to gasp softly.

“I’m not scared,” said Kurt, dropping his voice in an attempt to sound sexy. Blaine blinked at him, his eyes still wide. “I was surprised before, but I can’t stop thinking about how you felt. I want that. Again. Except maybe this time…”

Blaine let out a little squeak as Kurt moved closer and settled both hands on Blaine’s knees, gently urging Blaine to spread his legs. 

“Shh, relax,” whispered Kurt, leaning forward and kissing him softly. Blaine started to relax a little, then Kurt pulled back just enough to speak. “Do you want this?”

“Oh, yes,” whimpered Blaine. He nodded and let Kurt’s forward momentum push him back until he was lying down and Kurt was hovering on top of him. He let his legs fall to the sides so that Kurt was kneeling between them. Kurt looked down at him, at his gorgeous little body, and found his eyes fixated on the outline of Blaine’s cock in his pants. 

He didn’t want to go there quite yet, so he settled for resting his hands on Blaine’s waist and pushing up his shirt. After some fumbling, Blaine got the shirt off and laid there, chest heaving as he gasped softly. Kurt had seen him naked before, half a dozen times by now, but it had all been strictly in caretaker mode. But now it was okay for him to look and touch all he wanted.

“You’re beautiful,” whispered Kurt, running his hands down Blaine’s chest, blushing when Blaine moaned as he grazed his nipples. 

“You,” Blaine gasped, reaching up for Kurt’s shirt. Kurt took a deep breath and quickly unbuttoned it and shrugged it off before he could think twice about it. He was always self-conscious about his body, but the way Blaine was looking up at him made any sign of hesitation disappear. 

Blaine reached up and brushed his fingers over Kurt’s stomach, the closest thing he could reach, and looked at him in awe. Kurt smiled and caught Blaine’s hand in his, squeezing it tight before leaning over him to kiss him slow and deep and passionate. Kurt worked his way from Blaine’s mouth to his neck down to his chest, pressing soft, wet, experimenting kisses wherever he could. Blaine was a perfect combination of hard muscle and soft, warm skin. 

Kurt gasped when he felt Blaine’s hands on his own skin, trailing up his sides and over his back, just touching and feeling him. He looked up to see Blaine watching him with heavy lidded dark eyes as he trailed his hands to Kurt’s chest.

“I love you so much,” whispered Blaine. Kurt looked up at him, blinking, the words poised on his lips, but then his brain took over once more. Reminding him of New York and NYADA and how would Blaine react to all that and how he couldn’t say it. He couldn’t say it until he was sure that things would work out. He couldn’t do that to himself or to Blaine. 

Instead he surged forward and captured Blaine in a kiss that he hoped would communicate his feelings just as well as anything else. Blaine moaned into the kiss for a moment, but then he stopped. His hands went flat on Kurt’s chest and he pushed him back a little.

“You didn’t, you.” Blaine took a deep breath. “You didn’t say it back.”

Kurt was stuck, unsure of what to say in reply, then he hung his head and pulled back, instantly reaching for his shirt. Blaine looked like he didn’t understand as he stayed where he was, laying down and spread out and open for Kurt, who didn’t really want to see him like that right now. He turned away, buttoning up his shirt as he did.

“Kurt…” Blaine’s voice was shaky, trembling as he shifted back into his previously curled up position. “Did I, did, do something wrong again?” 

Kurt sighed. “No, honey, you didn’t do anything wrong. This one’s on me.”

“I don’t understand…” Blaine whispered, more to himself than to Kurt. Kurt glanced back at him and found him hiding his face in his knees again.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have put you in this position. Not when I’m not even sure,” said Kurt. He thought about leaving, but he knew that would just make it worse right now. He needed to talk to Blaine, have a mature conversation with him.

“What you mean?” asked Blaine.

“What I mean is…” Kurt paused and turned to face him again. “The reason I’ve been busy all week, it’s not just because of glee club or because my dad’s been making me work. I’ve been distracted because last week I got my letter from NYADA. It’s a college in New York. They want me to audition for them. If I get in, then I’ll be able to go to the city like I’ve always dreamed.”

“College. In New York.” Blaine repeated softly. “You mean, like, places I can’t go.”

“I don’t see why you couldn’t come with me. I mean, New York is a big city but we could have a life there. We can get an apartment and live together and…”

“And I’ll do what? While you, when you’re at college. What will I do? I can’t, not, I, don’t have anything there. I don’t want that. Don’t wanna go away! Can’t leave Mama, or, or Daddy. This my home!” Blaine’s brow was furrowed as he slowly unfolded himself.

“I know it is now, but think about the future! You can’t live with them forever. You can come with me. I’ll take care of you,” said Kurt, trying to reach for Blaine’s hand. He pulled it away though, glaring at him as much as Kurt had ever seen Blaine glare.

“When? Between school and, and, and whatever people do in the city?” Blaine snapped. “I can’t go! I can’t. You just, you do this to me. Why? You make me, give me hope, then you just say no. Moving away! Just leaving me!” 

“Blaine, calm down, please. It’s going to be okay. It’s just an audition. If I get in, we can talk about more about it, and figure things out,” said Kurt, trying to stay calm as Blaine seemed to get more and more worked up about it.

“I thought you wanted to be my forever. Guess you just, just like everyone, you just lie to me.” A flash of anger was visible in Blaine’s suddenly tear filled eyes before he lashed out and pushed Kurt away from him. 

“I did want to be with you forever.” Kurt leaned away after he was shoved, ignoring the ache in his arm from the impact. He stood up to put some space between them, then couldn’t help it as he raised his voice. “I guess I just made the mistake of thinking my boyfriend would actually support me in following my dreams.”

Blaine flinched, one of his hands instantly flying to his head, wrapping up a fist in his hair. He turned half away from Kurt, breathing heavily in a way Kurt hadn’t seen before. But Kurt was too busy blinded by his own anger that was bubbling up. So much for having a rational, adult conversation with his boyfriend. Blaine was fine with talking about things as long as they were things he wanted.

“You know what, Blaine,” Kurt snapped, sounding colder than he meant to. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Maybe I just won’t share things with you anymore.” 

He turned and left the room before he could take it back, slamming the door shut behind him. He didn’t linger, because even as he headed down the stairs he could hear Blaine crying. Regret swam around inside him but he didn’t stop, didn’t turn back, he just kept going until he was in his car and driving away. 

…………………………

Viv heard the door slam from where she was in the kitchen, then she looked out just in time to see Kurt almost running out of the house. It was a moment later that she could hear Blaine crying from upstairs, and she didn’t hesitate. She dropped what she was doing and hurried up after him, opening his bedroom door to find him curled up on his bed, shirtless with both hands buried in his hair as he sobbed loudly.

“Blainey…oh sweetheart, what happened?” Viv cooed softly as she climbed onto the bed and wrapped her arms around him. It had been a few years since he was smaller than her and could easily fit in her arms, but it didn’t stop her from hugging as much of him as she could.

His body was tight in a ball as he cried, one of his hands leaving his hair and grabbing her arm, holding it tight as he let his head thud against her chest. She rubbed one arm over his back gently for nearly an hour before he finally began to calm down, slumped against her exhausted. And even after he stopped crying, she still held him close. 

“Wanna talk about it?” she asked softly, pressing a kiss to his temple. He shook his head once and squeezed his eyes shut as he let out a little whimper. She shushed him quietly and eventually pried his tight fingers from his hair. She feared that someday he would pull out all of his hair doing that, but there wasn’t anything she could do to stop it.

Eventually he seemed to relax a bit and his breathing evened out, and Viv realized that he was asleep. Sighing softly, she maneuvered him so that he was lying under the covers, then undressed him the rest of the way to get him comfortable. Before leaving him, she leaned down and kissed his forehead.

On her way out, she paused at Blaine’s desk and grabbed the simple cellphone that he rarely used except to call her and Kurt. She needed to find out what happened, and she had a feeling Kurt was the cause of it.

………………………

“Kurt!” Rachel’s shrill voice rang out in the hallway, making an already miserable Kurt cringe by his locker. He slammed the door and turned just as she appeared by his side, and turned to her. She gasped when she saw his normally perfect complexion was even more pale than usual, and he had dark circles under his eyes. 

“What do you want?” he asked, sounding so exhausted it was like he was void of emotion. 

“I wanted to ask what you did to Blaine with regionals so close, but now I’m starting to wonder what he did to you.” She reached up to straighten the crooked collar of his jacket and he let her, sighing as he leaned against the lockers.

“Blaine and I started to progress things physically, and he said he loved me and I couldn’t say it back. Not until I told him about New York. And he got upset, then I got angry and I left. Then to make things worse his mother called me and started questioning me about it, saying I got Blaine all worked up into an episode and apparently he hasn’t come out of it for days now and it’s all my fault.” Kurt told her everything, then wrapped his arms around himself to protect her from her judgmental looks. 

“Well that explains why when I went to see him yesterday to practice my song his mom wouldn’t let me in the door. I asked what was wrong and she just said he wasn’t feeling well,” said Rachel. The warning bell rang and both of them began to head to class together.

“I just don’t know what to say,” said Kurt. “I don’t know how to tell him that I’m still going through with this audition. I want him to come with me but he asked me what he was supposed to do in New York and he’s right, Rachel. There’s nothing for him there.”

“Except you,” said Rachel. “And me. And a whole world of opportunities there. New York has things for people with disabilities that Lima wouldn’t dream of having. He could take classes and make friends and meet people who understand him. There’s sports teams and even community theater groups for people like him. He could do anything someday. And until he gets comfortable with that, he would have us. One of us could be with him all the time, and he would never be bored.”

Kurt thought about it for a moment. She was right. Despite Blaine’s fears, he would never really have to be alone. They could get a place with Rachel and possibly Finn, and the two of them could take care of Blaine. They could alternate between watching him during days and taking him to classes with them, if they had to. And maybe once Blaine got comfortable they could find something for him to do away from them. Kurt was aware that Blaine was as comfortable and mobile as he was because he had been living in the same community most of his life. Even if he lacked a decent sense of direction and couldn’t be left alone in his house or outside, he could navigate his life fairly well.

That would all change for him. He would have to start over. It hadn’t occurred to Kurt that maybe starting over didn’t conjure positive thoughts in Blaine like it did in Kurt and Rachel.

He just had to pitch his new ideas to Blaine, in a calm and rational way that didn’t send Blaine spiraling downward into an emotional episode. Kurt felt a tinge of guilt at that. He had never meant to hurt Blaine, but he couldn’t hold on to the guilt. Blaine’s mom had told him over the phone that while he needed to find a way to make Blaine feel better, he didn’t need to keep reminding himself that he had been the cause.

Taking a deep breath as he and Rachel entered their classroom, Kurt couldn’t do anything just yet. He just hoped Blaine was up for talking that night, because the next day was regionals and Kurt didn’t think he could wait much longer to fix the mess he started.

……………………………

Glee club rehearsal ran nearly two hours later than their usual late rehearsal time, and by the time Kurt got to Blaine’s it was dark out and past Blaine’s usual dinner time even. He was determined to speak to Blaine though, so he made his way up to the door and rang the doorbell, patiently waiting for someone to answer. To his surprise, it was Cooper who answered the door.

“Hey. Boy am I glad to see you. Blaine really needs something good right now, so please fix whatever it is you did to him and make him smile,” said Cooper, stepping aside and motioning for Kurt to come in. It was a lot better greeting than Kurt really expected from anyone in Blaine’s family at the moment.

“Is it that bad? I feel terrible about just leaving him like I did. In the heat of things I didn’t think about how he would react,” said Kurt, hurrying inside, eager to see his boyfriend.

“It actually has nothing to do with whatever you guys fought about at all. I’m afraid I caused this one. Earlier this week Blaine told me about how he was going to play piano for one of the songs in the regionals competition, and I wanted to come see him. He completely forgot about it until I showed up and told him, and I think he’s terrified to be on a stage with all those people staring at him.” Cooper walked with Kurt over to the stairs. “Also, he wants to talk about New York. Once you calm him down.”

Kurt raised an eyebrow, then nodded and began to head upstairs. All the stress and concern about NYADA and regionals seemed to wash away as he approached Blaine’s room. This was the way he was used to feeling when it came to Blaine, the feeling he needed to hold on to so he never hurt Blaine again.

He knocked on Blaine’s door softly before entering, and he heard the sound of something rustling about inside, then a loud thud before footsteps coming to the door. It opened just enough for Blaine to pop his head out, then suddenly it was flung open and he had his arms full of Blaine. He gasped softly from the force of Blaine’s hug, then squeezed him tight back. Then suddenly Blaine pulled back and looked up at him with his big, sweet puppy eyes.

“Kurt, oh Kurt, I sorry, so sorry. I never, didn’t want you mad at me, I so sorry. I never meant to, just want you to be happy with me. Just wanna be enough for you, I just so sorry,” Blaine nearly sobbed as he collapsed into Kurt’s chest again. He wasn’t sobbing out of sadness, just relief at the chance to be in Kurt’s arms again. 

“Shhh, it’s okay sweetheart. It’s okay. I’m not mad at you, never. I’m the one that should be sorry. I should have never raised my voice at you like that. I should have never expected you to take what I said any differently,” Kurt whispered into Blaine’s ear as he stroked a hand over the back of Blaine’s head. 

He held him close for a long while before maneuvering him back to his bed. Once they were sitting he tipped Blaine’s head up and pressed a series of gently kisses to Blaine’s lips, just enough to calm him down and see him smile through his frantic emotions.

“Good boy,” whispered Kurt, kissing him once more before just sitting with an arm around him. “Alright. Now. What’s this about you having a little stage fright? A day before the competition? I wasn’t even sure you were coming.”

“Rachel wants me,” said Blaine, pressing his head against Kurt’s shoulder, burying his face into his neck. “I promised her. I just, I scared. Like. They know. What if, they know and, they laugh at me.”

“Know what, honey? That you’ve got brain damage?” Kurt asked softly, stroking over Blaine’s hair again.

“Yeah. And, like. The piano. What if they, when I was little, I was so good. Fearless and, performing so good. What if they know I, that I not good like that anymore?”

“Hey now.” Kurt let his hand fall to Blaine’s shoulder and he pushed him so he was sitting up enough that he could look him in the eye. “You are a piano genius. Sometimes I wonder if you have eighty fingers the way you can play so fast sometimes. You’re amazing. You lost a lot in that accident, even the ability to read sheet music, but you did not lose your talent. No one is going to know any different. And if they find out you have brain damage, they’ll be even more in awe of how wonderful you are.”

Blaine smiled and ducked his head, laughing a soft little laugh before leaning into Kurt again.

“You always say the right things,” said Blaine, reaching for Kurt’s hand. “You always know.”

Kurt smiled a little bitterly, unable to stop thinking about how he didn’t know the right thing to say when he was yelling at Blaine. But he didn’t let that stop him now as he wrapped both arms around Blaine and kissed his temple.

“When you’re on that stage tomorrow, you just closer your eyes and forget the audience. You’re playing for you and for me, okay?”

Blaine nodded, then added, “And Rachel.”

Kurt chuckled. “Of course. And Rachel.”

They fell into silence for a moment as Blaine snuggled closer and pressed a soft little kiss to the nape of Kurt’s neck. Kurt felt his heart beat in his chest and it would have been so easy to let those three little words slip from his lips, but his brain kicked in again and he knew they had to resolve the New York dilemma first. He had to know if he was going to have to choose between his dream or his boyfriend.

“Blaine?” Kurt asked, barely a whisper.

“Hmm?”

“Cooper said you wanted to talk about New York.”

A beat of silence passed, then Blaine pulled away and sat up straight. He folded both his hands in his lap and stared down at them.

“I want,” Blaine began. He paused and took a deep breath. “I want you to go. Go to college. The city. Follow your dream. I wanna be your dream, but you have New York. You belong, in your heart, there. Not here. Don’t worry about me. Just, you just focus. Work on getting there. If we, if we’re meant to be, then I, I find a way. To be with you.”

Kurt felt his heart thud in his chest again as he hugged Blaine back into his side. He wasn’t sure what to say as he blinked back tears forming in his eyes. He sniffled softly and pressed little kisses into Blaine’s hair, just hugging him closer. 

“Is, is that okay?” asked Blaine softly. 

But in his tone Kurt could hear the real question he was asking.

_Did I do okay? Was that the right thing to say?_

“It’s perfect. Thank you,” Kurt whispered in reply. “Blaine. I want you to know that my dream is no dream without you by my side. When I get to New York, I’ll find a way to get you there with me. We’ll find a way to make it work. Okay?”

Blaine nodded, but didn’t say anything more. Eventually they wordlessly shifted until they were lying on the bed spooning, with Blaine as the little spoon. Kurt pressed his nose into the back of Blaine’s neck, and before he even realized what was happening he was drifting off to sleep.

…………………………

After the competition, if you asked Rachel Berry how it went, the long answer would include numerous critiques about the dancing in the group number and how her spotlight wasn’t bright enough and how Finn seemed a little distracted when he should have been passionate during their duet. But the short answer would have been that it went wonderfully.

She sat at the front of the bus as they left the competition. Everyone was celebrating excitedly while she sat beside their trophy, grinning at the way she could see her reflection in the shine of it. Her solo had clinched in, for sure. There was no doubt about it. Except it wasn’t really a solo. There had been two people on stage, and if she was honest with herself, all that applause hadn’t been just for her.

Twisting in her seat, she glanced back to see Blaine and Kurt in a seat a few rows back from her. Their heads were ducked as they smiled and spoke quietly with each other. Blaine had been so terrified to go out on stage that she had had to lead him out and practically drag him to the piano. It had taken a few beats too many for him to start, but once he had, the whole audience’s attention had been captured. 

Rachel’s voice had just been an excellent complement to Blaine’s playing. It was just lucky for her that it was a singing competition.

She was happy to see that Kurt and Blaine were happy together again. The consequences of drama between them were too great to go on too long, and she was just really glad they fixed everything so that she didn’t end up having to do her solo a cappella or something. Not that she couldn’t have done it and still won.

“Hey Rachel,” said Finn, sliding into the seat across from her, his legs in the aisle. She grinned seeing him, then scooted to the edge of her seat so she could lean over and kiss him. 

“We won!” she squealed happily, still high from winning.

“Yeah we did. All thanks to you,” said Finn, smiling like he was proud to be her boyfriend. Still grinning, she reached for his hand, sliding her small one into his bigger one. 

“Thank you,” she said, leaning over for another kiss. She loved him almost as much as she loved performing.

………………...........

It happened a week after the competition.

Blaine settled onto Kurt’s bed and looked up at his boyfriend with a smile. He was spending the night with Kurt at Kurt’s house, even though Kurt’s dad didn’t really like that they shared a bed. Blaine didn’t understand what was so bad about it. Even if they had sex, he was pretty sure most people who wanted sex did it anyway. His knew his parents did, Cooper did, and probably Kurt’s dad because otherwise how would Kurt have been born?

“What are you thinking about?” asked Kurt, getting on his knees on the bed and sitting back on his legs, looking down at Blaine. 

“People having sex,” said Blaine. Kurt’s eyes widened, and Blaine blushed and sputtered as he sat up quickly. “Not like, no. Not. Just. Your dad. He, us. The bed. Don’t we, doesn’t, everyone just, and sex is…”

“No no, it’s okay. I get it,” said Kurt, holding up a hand. Blaine stopped talking and relaxed a little. “Are we gonna make out, or are you as tired as I am?”

Blaine shrugged a little. It had been a hard day at school. He really was exhausted.

“Tired,” he replied. “Watch a movie and cuddle?”

Kurt grinned. “That sounds wonderful.”

He got off the bed and went and grabbed a random movie from his pile. Blaine never cared what they watched. He could never follow it anyway. He just waited for Kurt to sit up against the pillows at his headboard so that he could curl up beside him and rest his head in Kurt’s lap. Once the movie was going on Kurt’s laptop, Blaine snuggled into Kurt’s thigh and watched the people moving on the screen, listening to their words but not really paying attention.

After some time, he felt Kurt’s hand on his arm, rubbing down gently to his elbow, caressing it softly. It made him shudder and smile, and he slowly shifted his body until he was lying on his back, blinking up at Kurt. He watched Kurt watching the movie for a few minutes until Kurt noticed him. 

Kurt looked so beautiful as he smiled back. His eyes were sparkling blue and his eyelashes were long and tinted red in the light of the laptop and his skin was the most perfect soft pale and Blaine just wanted to touch all of him all the time. 

Instead he just settled for a little mumbled, “Love you.”

Kurt just kept looking at him, and by the way his eyes shifted color ever so slightly, Blaine could tell he was thinking hard about something. Then Kurt leaned down and Blaine shifted slightly until the angle was right and their lips met in a soft, sweet little kiss. It lingered on Blaine’s lips as Kurt shifted to rest his lips against the shell of Blaine’s ear.

Then, so softly that Blaine almost didn’t catch it, Kurt whispered, “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for being a little late on this one. I wrote about half this chapter, then dumped it and had to start over because it just wasn't working. I hope this was worth the wait, though. I find this stage in their relationship to be taxing for poor Blaine, who knows in his heart what he wants and that is Kurt, while Kurt is still just a teenager trying to figure out his way in the world. Thanks for reading!


	8. Kurt Graduates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Blaine's future is discussed many times, and just when things are set, everything changes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick warning: In this chapter mentions canon character death. So yes, Finn dies.

As the weeks rolled on through the school year, it became more and more of a habit for Blaine and Kurt to spend every minute together that they could. The reason was the unspoken worry that their time was limited, that Kurt would go to New York and they wouldn’t be able to find a way for Blaine to go with him. They wanted to get as much time together as they could, and became practically inseparable.

Nearly every night, they spent the night at one or the other’s house, more often at Blaine’s than at Kurt’s. Kurt knew his family missed him and his dad was trying to be supportive of his choices, even when he didn’t agree with them. When Kurt’s eighteenth birthday finally came around, Kurt had the defense that he was an adult and he was trying to build a life with the boy he loved, despite Blaine being a year younger.

A few weeks from the end of the year, Kurt was at Blaine’s house on a Wednesday night. Mrs. Anderson had cooked them a wonderful dinner, but both boys had been antsy to hurry up and get some alone time. They had come right there after school and spent a few hours working on homework together. Kurt had a final project and Blaine wanted to help, which meant it took three times longer than if Kurt had done it by himself. And now they were eager to get on with their scheduled makeout session.

Thankfully Blaine’s mom had an idea of why neither of them could hardly sit still, and did her best not to keep them downstairs any longer than was necessary. As soon as they were done, Blaine was leading Kurt by his hand up to his room. He closed the door behind him and tugged Kurt to the bed quickly.

“Someone’s eager,” Kurt laughed softly. They tumbled onto the mattress and Blaine rolled them so Kurt was on his back and Blaine was half draped over him, smiling sweetly.

“Someone loves his Kurt,” said Blaine, slipping a leg over Kurt’s hip until he was straddling him, then kissed his lips softly. 

Kurt was used to feeling and seeing Blaine on top of him by now, and his hands instantly going to Blaine’s waist to try to tug his shirt up and off. Blaine whined as he pressed their lips harder together. Kurt pushed him up enough so he was sitting up and Blaine was in his lap, their lips still attached the whole time as Blaine’s lips parted and Kurt slipped his tongue inside Blaine’s mouth. The kissed deeply, both their hands grabbing at each other’s shirts trying to get closer.

Finally they parted and practically tore their shirts off. Blaine met Kurt’s lips with such a force that they both fell back flat against the bed. Their chests were pressed together, and skin against skin, and Kurt’s hands were touching as much as Blaine as he could. He slid his hands up Blaine’s back and over his shoulders, holding him close as they kissed deeper and harder. 

Kurt gasped into Blaine’s mouth as he felt one of Blaine’s hands running down his side. Blaine lifted himself up enough to slide his hand back up, his thumb brushing over Kurt’s nipple as he slid up. Kurt’s body arched into the touch, his hands tightening around Blaine’s shoulders. Blaine pulled back a little and looked down at Kurt with dark eyes as he settled their hips together, the lengths of their erections pressed together.

“Oh, Blaine,” Kurt moaned. Blaine looked so good like this, shirtless and confident and sexy above Kurt, his hips a heavy weight against Kurt’s, grinding in little movements against Kurt and sending jolts of pleasure from his cock through his body. 

Blaine closed his eyes, his lips parted as he just moved his hips slowly, drawing out the pleasure for a few moments. Then he opened his eyes again and looked down at Kurt, bringing his hand up to cup Kurt’s jaw, brushing his thumb over it before diving down to kiss the spot he had touched. He kissed and sucked a path from Kurt’s jaw down his neck, leaving a trail of red skin in his wake, just enough to see it but not enough to bruise.

“Don’t stop, honey, don’t stop,” panted Kurt, arching his neck and sliding a hand into Blaine’s hair, holding his head. Blaine let out a little noise, like a grunt and a moan all at once, then kissed down to Kurt’s chest as he worked his hips a little harder. He licked his tongue over one of Kurt’s nipples, drawing another loud moan from Kurt. Blaine looked up and Kurt blushed, hoping that no one else in the house had heard him.

Blaine thrust his hips against Kurt’s once more before sliding down, kissing a path down until he was just above the waistband of his pants. He pressed a kiss just above Kurt’s belly button, then sighed and rested his cheek against Kurt’s skin, just feeling him and breathing him in for a moment. Kurt propped himself up and gently combed his fingers through Blaine’s curls.

“Are you okay?” asked Kurt softly.

“I love you,” muttered Blaine.

“I love you too,” said Kurt, smiling as he felt Blaine’s hand travel back down his side and rest on his hip.

“I want more,” said Blaine, turning his head to kiss where the soft skin was stretched over still forming muscles. Kurt blushed a little at how intimate the action was and at how his cock throbbed in his pants against Blaine’s chest. 

“Tell me what you need,” Kurt whispered. Blaine let out a little whimper and brought his hand around to the button of Kurt’s pants, toying with it before rubbing his hand over the pale expanse of Kurt’s torso. 

“You,” said Blaine. “All of you. Please.”

Kurt captured Blaine’s hand in his and gave it a squeeze, then took a deep breath and nodded. All along, Kurt had the upper hand in their relationship. He had seen Blaine naked often enough now that it didn’t seem as big of a deal as it once had, but he hadn’t undressed for Blaine yet. They hadn’t yet been naked together in an intimate way. 

“Okay,” Kurt finally said. Blaine smiled, his eyes still dark with arousal, as he climbed off of Kurt and his hands quickly began to fumble with the fastenings of Kurt’s pants. Kurt caught his hands though, and looked up at him. “If you take mine off, I get to do yours.”

Blaine paused for a moment, then nodded quickly and quickly began to try to get Kurt’s pants undone again. Kurt could see his fingers shaking a little and he reached down to help, flicking open the button and sliding down the zipper. Blaine’s eyes were glued to Kurt’s hips as he hooked his fingers under the waistband of his pants and underwear both, then tugged them down in one swift motion.

The room was silent for a beat as Kurt’s hard cock was revealed, pink and curved slightly, the damp head resting against his heaving belly. It twitched under Blaine’s gaze, and Blaine let out a little desperate sounding groan as he forgot about getting Kurt’s pants off the rest of the way and reached for his cock. 

“Hey now, Mr. Eager,” chuckled Kurt softly, catching Blaine’s wrist in midair. Blaine whined as Kurt sat up, kicking off his pants the rest of the way then standing up on his knees, naked and on display for his boyfriend. 

“Kurt…” Blaine moaned, unable to focus on anything but the way Kurt’s cock jutted from his body. 

“Your turn,” said Kurt, pushing Blaine’s chest gently until Blaine fell back on the bed, landing on his back. Kurt grinned as he crawled over and reached for Blaine’s pants. He was quick in undoing them, sliding them down quickly to reveal Blaine’s body for him. For the first time Kurt could really look at all of him and take in just how beautiful he was. In all the times he had seen Blaine like this, he had never let himself look at his private areas, and now he finally could. 

Blaine was bigger than Kurt expected, but not porn star huge. He was thick and dark and twitching, his cock almost as impatient as Blaine’s hands, which were desperate to touch. Kurt smiled, then leaned down to kiss him gently.

“Beautiful,” Kurt whispered. 

“You too,” said Blaine, sounding almost in awe. “Can I, can, touch?”

Kurt nodded and moved so that he was laying down on his side, face Blaine. Blaine shifted so he was facing Kurt, then dropped his hand between them so that it was resting just a few inches from Kurt’s cock. Kurt waited patiently, despite the throbbing need in his groin. Eventually, Blaine sucked in a deep breath and closed the gap, wrapping his hand around Kurt’s cock tentatively. 

Kurt gasped and closed his eyes, biting his lip in an effort to keep quiet as Blaine stroked him slowly, just enough to send little shocks of pleasure through him, but not enough to really do anything.

“Good?” asked Blaine softly, brushing his thumb over the head, collecting the little drops of fluid gathering there and spreading it around. Kurt nodded, then reached out to show Blaine, wrapping his hand around Blaine and mirroring his actions. They both leaned closer and kissed softly, little open mouthed kisses that served more to muffle their moans than anything.

Blaine scooted a little closer after a while, breaking the kiss enough to look down as he explored with his hand, touching Kurt lightly over his cock and balls, then the soft hairy skin of his inner thighs. Kurt watched him with a smile, letting the pleasure of the new sensations wash over him. Blaine was so gentle and sweet, and Kurt found himself thankful that this first experience was shared with a boy like him.

Kurt reached between them and caught Blaine’s hand, twining their fingers together and causing Blaine to look back up at him. Blaine had a look of wonder on his face, almost like he was in awe of Kurt and his body and how he was letting Blaine touch him.

“Okay?” asked Kurt softly. Blaine nodded, then scooted closer until they were nearly pressed together. Kurt leaned in for another kiss, this time kissing Blaine harder, deeper, drawing him even closer until their whole bodies were pressed together. Kurt moaned into Blaine’s mouth, not even trying to hold back the sound, as Blaine rocked his hips into Kurt’s, causing their cocks to rub together.

They kept kissing and Blaine kept pushing their hips together, building them both up closer and closer until Kurt felt a tight heat coiling in his belly. Then suddenly Blaine pulled away, pulling their lips apart reluctantly as he panted softly. Kurt let out a little noise of frustration as his hand reached down almost on instinct to stroke himself. This time Blaine stopped him.

“No,” said Blaine. “I want to try something.”

Blaine pushed himself up onto his knees and nudged Kurt so he was lying on his back once more. Kurt tried to have patience for whatever it was that Blaine wanted, but he was sweating and aching with need. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold back with so many new sensations all at once. He surprised himself with his self-control enough already.

But then Blaine was kneeling between his legs, settling down and looking up at Kurt, his mouth so close to Kurt’s twitching, leaking cock. Blaine’s eyes were nearly black with lust and he seemed like an entirely different person, filled with confidence as he wrapped a hand around Kurt’s cock lightly. He leaned down and wrapped his lips around the head carefully, then taking a little more of Kurt into his mouth before giving an experimental suck. 

And that’s all it took. Kurt slapped his own hand over his mouth to muffle his cry of pleasure as his orgasm hit. Blaine pulled back in surprise after the first shoot of come from the tip of Kurt’s cock, and he watched in fascination as more spilled over his hand and onto Kurt’s skin. Gasping softly, Kurt relaxed boneless into the bed and looked down to see Blaine jerking his own cock hard and fast, still staring at Kurt.

Kurt pushed himself up to sit, then batted Blaine’s hand away and replaced it with his own. Blaine cried out when Kurt started to stroke him quickly. He didn’t even have time to think about how it felt to be touching Blaine like this before Blaine was coming, moaning loudly and not even bothering to try being quiet. Kurt glanced up just in time to catch the look of pleasure on Blaine’s face as he stroked him through his orgasm.

When it seemed that Blaine was finished, Kurt helped him to lay down, smiling at how boneless and happy his boyfriend was. He laid down as well, snuggling up to Blaine’s side and resting his head on his bare chest. Blaine draped at arm around his shoulders lazily and let out a content little sigh. Looking up, Kurt found Blaine looking at him through sleepy eyes.

“I can’t believe we just did that,” said Kurt, rubbing his hand over Blaine’s chest lightly. 

“It was the best,” said Blaine dreamily. He glanced down at their bodies, and despite what they had just done, his cheeks flushed red and he asked, “Do it again?”

Kurt laughed, then pressed a kiss to Blaine’s chest before pushing himself up. 

“Maybe another day? That was our first time. I want to remember that,” said Kurt. Blaine watched him carefully, the smile never fading from his face. Kurt wondered if Blaine felt as in love with him at that moment as he was with Blaine, and then he looked into Blaine’s eyes. He imagined that if eyes could transform their shapes, Blaine’s would have looked like actual hearts. They were wide and had faded into a golden honey color, sparkling with emotion. Kurt certainly didn’t have to wonder long. Blaine had never looked more in love.

“Do you want to take a bath now? We can both get cleaned up and ready for bed if you want?” suggested Kurt, before he leaned down and gave in to the urge to give Blaine another gentle kiss. 

Blaine returned the kiss enthusiastically, then nodded. Kurt told him to wait there on his bed while he pulled on his underwear and snuck down the hall to the bathroom. Once Kurt was alone, he took a deep breath and let it out through a smile. He couldn’t believe it.

He, Kurt Hummel, had just had sex. And it was fantastic.

………………………..

A few days later, it was Kurt’s room that they were in, and they could barely make out let alone get around to taking any clothes off. But Blaine didn’t mind. Kurt was on the floor, lying on his stomach, surrounded by textbooks and notes while Blaine watched him from his bed, smiling contently just to be sharing space with him.

“What you working on?” asked Blaine after a long period of silence. He laid on his stomach, mirroring Kurt’s position and rested his chin on his folded arms. 

“Just some math,” said Kurt. “Just need to get these last three assignments done, then there’s a test, and then that’s it for the year. At least for that class. I still have an English essay and there’s our history project. I want to get it all done before nationals, since that’s only a week before graduation. I want to be able to enjoy New York fully.” 

Blaine didn’t miss the dreamy look on Kurt’s face as he mentioned New York. His head was already there in the city, and Blaine hated to think about it. He was going to New York as well, since he was technically a member of the glee club, and his parents were both coming with him. They were all going to stay an extra day to canvas neighborhoods and check out apartments, to try to find a place that was safe enough for Blaine when the time came for him to follow Kurt. 

He was nervous about New York, though. He still wasn’t sure if he could handle it. Just looking at pictures of the city scared him. There were so many people and buildings and cars and things that Blaine wasn’t even sure of. But, he had to keep telling himself, Kurt would be there. They would have a life together, and it would be worth it.

“What are you thinking about?” asked Kurt, who had shifted so he was looking up at Blaine. 

“Us,” said Blaine. 

“Good things, I hope,” said Kurt.

“Of course.” Blaine ducked his head and laughed softly, then rolled over so he was on his back. He stared up at the ceiling, then suddenly Kurt was above him, hovering and smiling. He leaned down and pressed his lips to Blaine’s forehead and Blaine closed his eyes, feeling a little spark from the touch.

“Are you excited to go to the city with me? It’ll be like a little glimpse into our future,” said Kurt, pressing another kiss to Blaine’s temple.

“I am, yes,” said Blaine. He didn’t say that he was thinking about what if he didn’t like it there, what if he couldn’t handle it, what if he didn’t get to have his future with Kurt after all? Instead he just pushed all his worries aside and focused on the loving smile Kurt was giving him, and the way it made his heart flutter happily.

“It’s going to be amazing,” said Kurt, his voice full of promise. He began to talk excitedly about all the things they were going to see and do in New York. Blaine listened, but after a while he wasn’t really following Kurt’s words anymore, just listening to his voice. He liked it better that way sometimes, so he could get the comfort of listening to Kurt without having to worry about the future. 

……………………

It happened two days before they were supposed to leave for nationals. The first time Kurt was called and told that Blaine was in the hospital. It was the first time, but he knew it wouldn’t be the last as he drove through the dark to Lima General. It was the middle of the night, and his dad had tried to argue him back to bed, but that had been a colossal waste of time on his part. 

Blaine’s parents didn’t explain to Kurt what had happened, just that Blaine hurt himself and seemed rather desperate to see Kurt. Trying not to let the panic or fear take over, Kurt parked his car and hurried into the hospital, not caring that his hair was a complete disaster or that his outfit mostly consisted of clothes he’d worn the previous day mixed with pajamas. 

He found Blaine’s parents in a family waiting room, both of them looking pale with worry. He had spent enough time with them both now to be on a first name basis with them most of the time, and to feel like part of their family. Striding across the room, he sat on the other side of an exhausted Viv, who instantly reached over and took his hand, giving it a weak squeeze.

“What happened?” asked Kurt, trying not to sound as anxious as he as. 

Viv let out a sigh and her eyes drifted closed as she shook her head slowly. In that moment, Kurt could see how all the years of taking care of Blaine had worn her down. Her always cheerful, optimistic face she always showed him had cracks in it, and in times like this he could see the darkness beyond those cracks. It scared him. Is that what he would be like in a few years?

“He hadn’t been feeling good all day. Said something was funny in his head. I should know by now to listen to him, but I just told him I’d take him to the doctor tomorrow if it wasn’t better after some sleep. I was too busy to listen to him.” She pulled her hand out of Kurt’s and folded her arms around her own waist.

“Don’t blame yourself,” Jack said, wrapping one arm around her shoulders. 

“It’s my fault,” Viv almost snapped. She took another deep breath, then looked at Kurt. “I thought he was just having one of his episodes, maybe. He complains about pain or fuzziness in his vision or something, there’s nothing anyone can do. More pills, maybe. A change in the subscription in his reading glasses. But his illness, it’s not something that can be cured. I just told him to go to bed. He was on his way and he lost his balance and fell down the stairs.”

“Thankfully nothing was broken. He sprained his ankle enough that he’ll have to stay off it for a couple of weeks,” Jack explained. Kurt breathed a sigh of relief that Blaine wasn’t hurt worse, but Jack wasn’t done. “Right now he’s in getting a CT scan. He may have banged his head up, we don’t know. Any time there’s a risk of him having a concussion, he needs to get to the hospital right away. It could be deadly.”

Kurt gasped. “You don’t think…?”

“He seems fine. It’s just a precaution. But he wouldn’t calm down enough to do the scan until we called you and made sure you were coming,” said Jack. The older man rubbed his hand up and down his wife’s arm, trying to comfort her as she stared at the floor guiltily. 

“I’m here,” said Kurt. “I’m always here for him.”

A beat of silence passed before a man in blue scrubs came out to them, looking cheerful enough. Kurt hoped this meant there was only good news for Blaine.

“Good news,” the man confirmed. “Everything appears to be normal for Blaine. But I want to keep him overnight to monitor to make sure there’s no swelling in a few hours. You can go see him again.”

Blaine’s parents stood, so Kurt did as well. Viv thanked the man, and led the small group down the hallway to where she knew Blaine would be. Blaine had once joked to Kurt that he had to visit the doctors so much over the last nine years that he had a permanent room that was saved just for him. As though that were true, Blaine had a private room this visit as well. The three of them entered it at the same time, finding Blaine sitting up in the hospital bed, his left ankle taped and resting on a pillow.

“Kurt!” Blaine lit up immediately upon seeing Kurt between his parents. 

“Hey honey,” said Kurt softly. Viv went to one side of Blaine’s bed and Kurt went to the other. Blaine looked between them, holding both their hands.

“I fell,” said Blaine to Kurt. “They thought maybe, thought I, maybe I hurt my head. But I don’t feel, it doesn’t hurt. They gave me medicine.”

Kurt chuckled and brought Blaine’s hand up to kiss his knuckles gently.

“I’m so very glad that you’re okay. I love you,” Kurt told him, lowering their joined hands and resting them against his chest over his heart. 

“Love you too,” murmured Blaine, watching Kurt and their joined hands. 

“You’ve got to stay home and rest your ankle for a while now,” said Viv, interrupting their little moment. Blaine turned his attention to her, looking at her with a different kind of adoration than the way he looked at Kurt. 

“How long?” he asked.

Viv looked back at Jack, who stood at the foot of the bed, then she glanced at Kurt before turned back to Blaine. 

“A couple weeks, probably,” she said. 

And then suddenly it dawned on Kurt. He gasped softly and caught Blaine’s attention again.

“You’ll miss New York!” Kurt suddenly felt a wave of disappointment fall over him so quickly that he couldn’t hide it as it spread through his expression. Blaine caught it and looked down. Kurt instantly regretted his own actions. As if being physically hurt wasn’t enough, now Blaine knew that Kurt was disappointed, and of course he would blame himself.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. But Kurt’s right. You’ll have to stay home. We can’t have you walking around the city on that ankle,” said Viv.

Blaine let out a little whimper and closed his eyes, letting his head fall back onto his pillow. He was torn between being glad he didn’t have to be stressed out in the city and sad that he had disappointed Kurt once more. 

Kurt sensed it though, his torn emotions, and gave his hand a squeeze before leaning down to give him a gentle kiss on the lips. Blaine’s brow furrowed as he kept his eyes shut, but he couldn’t resist returning the kiss at least a little. Pulling back, Kurt brought his free hand up to cup Blaine’s jaw, and that finally got his eyes to open slowly. 

“It’ll be okay,” whispered Kurt, looking into those sweet eyes of his. “We’ll go another time, without the glee club. We’ll make a whole trip just about us, okay?”

Blaine nodded and his eyes darted between Kurt’s eyes and his lips, causing Kurt to chuckle again softly as he ducked down for another kiss. 

“You’ll come back to me?” asked Blaine softly. Kurt pulled back, his eyes narrowed a little as he drew his hand from Blaine’s jaw down to rest on his chest.

“Of course. _Of course_. Why would you ask that?” 

“Because, you, the city is your. It’s your dream. What if, when you, you get there and you fall in love?” Blaine looked away again, down at Kurt’s hand touching him. 

“Blaine,” Kurt sighed. “Did you know that dreams can change? Because mine did. I used to dream about going to the city and going to college and maybe meeting a nice guy after I’m a big star on Broadway. But that changed. I met my soulmate before I even graduated from high school. Now my dream is to go to the city and build a life with him, figuring out new ways to make him smile every day, and to have him waiting for me in the wings with a proud smile while I’m on stage.”

Blaine’s mouth twitched as he processed what Kurt said, then very softly he asked, “You’re talking about me, right?”

Kurt couldn’t tell if he wanted to laugh or cry. Obviously he hadn’t been doing a good enough job showing Blaine how much he loved him if Blaine was this insecure about their relationship.

“Honey, of course I am. I love you so much, that’s never going to change. Ever. No matter what happens, my future is no future without you. You got that?” Kurt brought Blaine’s hand up, clutching it in both of his and leaning over to try to look into Blaine’s downcast eyes. 

Without looking up at him, Blaine nodded. Kurt could see relief in his expression, even as he just settled back in his bed and yawned widely. He leaned down to give Blaine another gentle kiss on the forehead.

“I love you, sleepyhead,” said Kurt. Blaine’s eyes were already blinking closed, and Kurt knew that after the commotion of his fall and going to the hospital that he probably as beyond tired.

Blaine yawned again and managed to mutter a soft “love you too” before drifting off to sleep. Kurt smiled and watched him for a moment before looking up to see Blaine’s parents still in the room, Viv watching him with an unreadable expression.

“You can stay, if you want. He would like that,” said Viv. She reached across the hospital bed and rested a hand on Kurt’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze. Kurt nodded and smiled his thanks. Whether she gave her permission or not, he had planned on spending the whole rest of the night by Blaine’s side.

…………………………..

A few weeks past, Viv found herself knocking on the door of her husband’s office. Kurt and Blaine had went upstairs half an hour ago, and the last time she checked on them they had finished Blaine’s bath and were getting ready for bed. These days she was used to letting the two of them be, allowing them to become accustomed to depending on each other. It was strange, to not be needed like she once had.

She was glad that Blaine had Kurt. She had just been getting ready to accept that taking care of Blaine would be her main priority for the rest of her life, but then Kurt came along. Blaine needed her less and less, and it only hurt a little bit. She knew he was growing up and she couldn’t hang on forever, but after all he had been through both with the accident and after it, letting go wouldn’t be easy.

Letting go didn’t have to happen yet, though. Viv stepped into Jack’s office to find him in his usual place, at his computer doing research for one of his current cases. He smiled as she entered, and she crossed the room to go to him. He shut his laptop and cleared a space on his desk, and she took that as an invitation to sit up on the sturdy piece of furniture. Jack leaned back in his chair, looking up at her.

“What a beautiful distraction,” he said, his eyes drifting down her body until she spoke. 

“We need to talk about Blaine,” she said, kicking her feet in the air gingerly, her toes tapping his knee. 

“Ah, yes. This New York business.” Jack pulled his reading glasses off and tossed them onto a pile of papers on the desk. “It will be good for him, to have a chance at a normal life in a place like New York.”

“I think it’s good for him as well, but he’s only seventeen. He’s told me himself that he’s not ready to go. He’s ready for the plan, but he’s not ready to leave. And besides, he has one year of school left.” Viv’s foot caught on Jack’s leg and she rested it on his thigh, smiling as he took it in both his hands and began to rub it lightly. 

“He’s failing,” said Jack. “They called today, and I got the message. Three classes. The three he doesn’t have with Kurt.”

“That’s better than he was doing at Dalton,” said Viv with a sigh. “I want him to have this. I want him to go to school and be normal. This is what normal teenagers do. He has friends there, and that glee club. They’re encouraging him and he’s the most social I’ve ever see him be.”

“His best friends at that school are graduating in four days. He’ll have to start over again. I don’t really want to see him go through that pain,” said Jack, resting one hand on her calf.

“You’re right.” Viv nodded and hooked her foot in his chair and rolled him closer, then rested her hands on his shoulders. “What do we do?”

“I think that if Kurt gets into his college, we think about letting Blaine go sooner. If Kurt doesn’t get into college, we talk about asking Kurt to stay for a year,” Jack suggested.

Viv thought about it for a moment. It seemed reasonable enough to her. If Kurt went off to New York the next fall, they could give him time to get adjusted to the city and then bring Blaine to him when they were both ready. If Kurt didn’t get into college right away, then they could have time to prepare them both more for the future.

“That could work,” said Viv. She smiled and leaned forward, kissing her husband softly on his forehead. “You are a genius.” 

Jack hummed a soft laugh, then caught her arms and pulled her down to kiss her lips.

“And you are beautiful,” he said, giving her a little tug so that she slipped off the desk and into his laugh. She laughed and slapped his shoulder, then settled on his thighs and looked down at him. 

“Flattery. I know what that means. There’s only one thing on that mind of yours,” she said, smiling knowingly. Jack gave a shrug and laughed.

“Hey, you know the boys went right up after dinner and got to do it. It’s only fair that we get to have a little fun too,” said Jack.

Viv rolled her eyes. “I thought we agree not to talk about that and pretend that it wasn’t happening.”

Jack replied with another laugh and pulled her down for another kiss. 

………………………..

It was during the last week of school that Kurt received his letter from NYADA. He was so sure he would get in, especially with the glee club winning nationals putting the icing on his resume. But still, he was too nervous to open it right away, so he paced back and forth with it on his desk, unable to decide what to do. Finally, he got a call from Rachel, saying that she too had received it and was having the same dilemma. They both decided they would meet in the choir room the next day and open their letters together, and they both agreed that Blaine had to be there as well. This would determine the next year for all three of them.

In the choir room, Kurt was nervous while he waited for Rachel and Blaine to arrive. They entered together, Rachel’s arm hooked through Blaine’s as she clutched her envelope in both hands nervously. Blaine seemed nervous as well, not smiling like usual when he spotted Kurt. 

“Hey,” said Rachel. “Finn is going to be here in a minute. He has a letter too.”

As if on cue Finn entered the other door of the choir room, also holding an envelope. The four of them met in the center of the room, looking at each other nervously. Blaine stepped over to Kurt, giving him a quick hug and a kiss before settling close to his side. 

“Let’s open them together,” said Kurt. The other two nodded. “On the count of three. Blaine, you want to do the honors?”

Blaine took a deep breath and nodded. “One…two…three.”

They tore into their envelopes quickly with shaking hands. Simultaneously they pulled out their letters and read quickly, then looked up at each other, waiting for someone to say something first.

“I got in,” said Rachel, smiling with relief.

“I didn’t get in,” said Finn, looking down at his paper in defeat. Rachel’s smile fell, and they both looked over at Kurt.

Kurt reached for Blaine’s hand and gripped it tight, looking only at his boyfriend as he whispered, “I got in.”

There was silence for a moment, then Rachel let out a high pitched squeal and launched herself at Kurt, hugging him tight as she jumped up and down.

“We got in! We got in, we’re going to New York! This is what we’ve always dreamed of!” Rachel turned to Blaine and grabbed him by his shoulders. “The three of us are going to New York! This is the start of the rest of our lives!” 

She froze when Kurt put a hand on her arm, his face looking stern but not unhappy. He nodded toward a rather dejected looking Finn, who just kept staring down at his letter. 

“It’s okay, Finn. You can still come too. We want you there. Blaine will need someone with him all the time and you can help with that until you figure something out,” said Rachel, trying to be optimistic. 

Finn just threw his letter on the ground, then snapped, “No! I don’t want to take care of Blaine! And I never really wanted to go to New York!”

He turned and stormed out of the room, leaving them in a stunned silence.

Blaine let out a little whimper and scooted closer to Kurt, who wrapped an arm around him and hushed him softly. Rachel just stared after Finn, not sure if she should run after him or not. Kurt sighed and lifted up his letter, reading over the words again. He couldn’t help but smile. His dream was coming true. He was going to New York and Blaine would come with him his life was going to be as perfect as he had ever dreamed.

…………………………

Graduation came a few days later, and Blaine dressed up in one of his nice suits so that he could look nice for Kurt’s special night. This was the first day of the rest of his life, Kurt had told him. Blaine wished he knew what that was like, but he had another year of high school left before he could feel what Kurt was feeling. Even then, he wasn’t sure he ever would. Everyone knew he wasn’t smart enough.

That didn’t stop him from being as supportive as he knew how as he rode in the car with his parents to the school. They had wanted to be there to support Kurt as well, since they were quickly coming to think of Kurt as another son. When they arrived at the school, his parents when off to find a seat with the rest of the parents, and Blaine hurried to the choir room, where all the graduating glee club kids were gathered.

The energy in the room was high as everyone was dressed in their red caps and gowns. Blaine smiled thinking they all looked kind of silly. He found Kurt and grinned, hurrying over to him. They collided in a hug, and Blaine could feel the nervous excited energy in him as he held Blaine tight. He pulled back after a moment and pressed a quick kiss to Blaine’s lips like he couldn’t help it.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” said Kurt, keeping an arm around him to keep him close. Blaine looked up at him with wide, love filled eyes. He was so glad to be by Kurt’s side, and he wrapped an arm around Kurt’s waist to hold on. Finn and Rachel entered the room next, hand in hand and smiling in their graduation gowns. 

The room filled with excited chatter and Blaine observed Santana and Brittany in the corner of the room. They were talking to just each other, looking very serious. He knew that Brittany wasn’t graduating, even though she was a senior. She had told him that she was going to still be in school with him the next year. Santana wasn’t very happy about that, because like everyone else she wanted to get out of Lima, but she was held back by her love for Brittany and it was putting a strain on their relationship. 

Santana said something to Brittany that made Brittany upset, and then Santana stood and crossed the room, coming over to them. She paused and Kurt looked at her oddly, then she surprised them both by hugging Kurt tight before stepping back.

“Congrats, Hummel. You made it. We both did. We’re getting out of this town,” said Santana. 

“Where are you going?” asked Kurt, smiling as he relaxed against Blaine again. 

“Did I tell you? I’m going to New York with you guys! Gotta take care of my little nugget of sunshine here.” She smiled and reached over, lightly pinching one of Blaine’s cheeks. He scrunched up his face and batted her hand away, causing her to laugh. 

“And Brittany?”

Santana cast a glance over her shoulder to where Brittany was leaving the choir room alone.

“She’ll come when she’s ready. She knows I don’t belong here,” said Santana. Blaine didn’t miss the sadness in her voice, but knew this wasn’t the place to ask her about it. Inside he was happy, though, knowing that one more person he loved was going to go to New York, making the transition not seem so scary after all.

Someone called out that it was time to go to the auditorium, and Blaine had to go. He gave Kurt another quick kiss before heading to the auditorium to find a seat beside his parents. Maybe he wasn’t ready to go to New York just yet, but now that Kurt’s future was set and both Rachel and Santana were going as well. Blaine could see his own future a little better now.

………………………….

Summer was off to a great start. Kurt worked a few days a week at the Lima Bean to earn money for the big move to the city, and he spent six nights a week with Blaine. They grew even closer as they had actual sex (Kurt had called it “going all the way”), which was so good they both found themselves wanting it every chance they could do it. But it only made Blaine become more antsy at the thought of their separation at the end of August, but he tried not to let it get into his head.

He wanted to enjoy every minute he had with Kurt, and he made sure he did. They fell into a routine that lasted until the Friday of the third week of summer. Kurt was supposed to come right to Blaine’s house after his shift at work, but he didn’t come at all. Blaine sat by the window, waiting for Kurt until the sun had gone down. Then in desperation he found his cellphone and called Kurt seven times in a row, with no answer. 

Worried that something was wrong, he tried to convince his parents to take him to Kurt’s house to see if Kurt was hurt or something. They insisted that everything would be okay and he gave in, letting Mama help him get ready for bed. He tossed and turned all night, unable to sleep without the warm comfort of Kurt sharing the bed with him. 

Another two days passed with no word from Kurt before his parents finally sat him down to talk, looking very serious. 

“Blainey, we have something to tell you,” said Mama, reaching for his hand. He was worried instantly by the tone of her voice. 

“Is it Kurt? Is he okay?” asked Blaine, looking from her to his Daddy, scared a little by the look on his face.

“Kurt’s fine, sweetie,” said Mama. “But we heard something today that explains why Kurt hasn’t called. This may be very hard to hear, but your friend Finn passed away a few days ago.”

There was silence as Blaine processed it, and he looked up at her, his brow furrowed a little.

“Passed away?”

“He died,” said Daddy, sounding a little harsh and serious. Blaine flinched and looked up at him.

“He died? Finn? But, but how? I, he’s Kurt’s brother. Rachel, and, I, how?” Blaine looked between his parents, searching for answers. He knew people died, he wasn’t that dumb. He knew he almost died once. His grandma had died a few years before, but he wasn’t as close to her as he was to Finn. Finn was Kurt’s brother, which almost made him Blaine’s brother with how close their families were becoming. 

“He was in an accident. I don’t know the details. Just that he was hurt and he died two days ago. Kurt’s probably been grieving with his family. I know you probably need him right now, but we’re going to have to give him and his family some time, okay?” Mama was trying to sound very gentle, but Blaine couldn’t think beyond the tears forming in his eyes. 

Finn was dead. He was gone, and Blaine wouldn’t ever see him again. Finn was dead and Kurt was grieving and Blaine just wanted to hug his boyfriend so much. It was like a shock to his system, yet another reminder that life was too short. 

But worst of all, Blaine had just come to terms with the path his future would take, and there was no doubt that this changed everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess Sunday is my new posting day. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, even though the end got a little sad there. Things will get sadder before they get better. Thanks for reading, though. And thanks for all your wonderful comments and kudos. I don't always have time to reply, but I appreciate every single one of them!


	9. Blaine Loses Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Finn's death from Blaine's point of view, and Kurt does the worst thing ever.

The funeral took place in a church. A beautiful church packed full of most of the town, it seemed. Everyone had come to mourn the loss of such a promising young life, gone just two weeks after graduating from high school. 

Blaine entered the church with his parents on either side of him. Mama hugged his arm tight to comfort both of them, as the atmosphere had a cloud of sadness inside the building the instant they entered it. She was dressed in a black dress, and Blaine liked the way it looked because she left her hair down and the black of her hair seemed to blend into the fabric. He was dressed in black too, in a suit like Daddy. It was what they were supposed to wear to funerals, they explained to him.

He was led along by his parents toward the front of the church, where there was a small gathering of people. Blaine recognized some of the glee kids and Rachel’s dads. Kurt’s dad and Finn’s mom were there, both of them with red faces glistening from crying. Rachel was sitting in the front row, her head down and her hands in her lap. Blaine wanted to go speak to her, but Mama caught his arm and kept him by her side. 

“Stay with me. You can talk to her when she’s ready,” Mama said to him. He didn’t quite understand what she meant, but he stayed with her anyway.

Eventually some people parted from the group and Blaine finally saw him. Kurt was standing there beside his dad, dressed perfectly in a what had to be the most plain black suit he owned. He was standing up perfectly straight, his back rigid and his arms folded in front of him. Blaine was almost startled by how white pale his face was and how emotionless his eyes were. His lips were drawn tight into a straight line, and when he finally looked over to where Blaine was, he didn’t look happy to see him at all.

Hesitant to go to him, Blaine stayed by Mama’s side, and he breathed a little sigh of relief when Kurt crossed the space between them and hugged him tight. 

“Thank you for coming,” Kurt whispered hoarsely in Blaine’s ear. Blaine hugged him back, desperate to feel him in his arms. He was so used to having Kurt with him all the time that the last few days had been hard without so much as hearing his voice.

“Of course,” said Blaine softly. He turned his head, hoping for a kiss, but Kurt pulled back too quickly. Blaine felt awkward with Kurt just standing in front of him, so he said, “It really sad. About Finn. I sorry.”

“It’s okay,” said Kurt. “I mean. It’s not okay. But it will be. I hope. Someday.” 

Blaine nodded, not really understanding him. There was a lot that he didn’t understand about this whole thing. It sort of made his head hurt, so he tried not to think too hard about it.

“I’ve got to be with my dad and Carole. Just. Thank you. For being here. Finn would have been grateful. I know you two weren’t the best of friends, but he did like you.” Kurt offered him something vaguely resembling a smile, which Blaine returned. Before he could reply, Kurt turned away from him and was heading back over to his parents. 

“Come on, Blainey. Let’s go sit.” Mama took his arm again and began to steer him toward one of the church pews, a few rows back from the front. Everyone else was starting to sit down as well, so Blaine settled between his parents. 

The room went silent as the ceremony began. Blaine quickly tuned out the man at the front of the church who began to speak and focused on where he could see the back of Kurt’s head a few rows up. He wanted so badly to be sitting next to Kurt that it made him a little antsy. Shifting in his seat, he felt Daddy’s and on his arm, reminding him to keep still. He bit his lip and looked up at Daddy, then pointed forward to where Kurt was. Daddy shushed him and pushed his hand down, shaking his head at him.

Blaine sighed and his shoulders sunk as he pouted, wanting to go to his boyfriend. When he heard some people start crying as the man at the front continued to speak, he was reminded that oh yeah, it was Finn’s funeral and he was supposed to be sad because Finn died. He hung his head a little, ashamed that Finn was gone forever and all Blaine could think of was how badly he wanted to hug and kiss Kurt.

When the funeral was over, everyone was even sadder than when it began. His parents allowed him to go to Kurt one more time, and he hurried to the group around Kurt’s family, looking for his boyfriend. He was so close to Kurt when someone caught his hand and he looked to see Rachel standing there, looking quite miserable. Forgetting about Kurt for a minute, he instantly pulled Rachel into a tight hug.

It suddenly occurred to him that Finn was to Rachel as Kurt was to him. Losing Kurt would be the absolute worst thing Blaine could possibly imagine, and Rachel was going through that right now. He held her long and hard, and she didn’t try to pull away. She began to shake a little as she started to cry into his shoulder, and he just let her. Rubbing her back softly, he held her as she cried. Eventually Rachel pulled back, sniffling and rubbing at her eyes as she did.

“’m so sorry,” murmured Blaine softly, not really knowing what else to say to her. It felt like being stabbed in the heart just thinking about what she was going through, so he didn’t really want to think about it at all.

“I’m just so lost without him,” confessed Rachel, her voice shaking from crying. “I thought I knew what I wanted in my life, but now I can’t imagine that life without him. Nothing’s the same now.”

Her words almost shocked him. Something he finally understood. From the moment he heard that Finn had died he knew that everything would be different, but hearing Rachel say it brought reality crashing down. Blaine looked over to where Kurt was, talking with someone Blaine had never seen before. If he put himself into Kurt’s shoes, and it was his brother who died – no never don’t _think_ about that – he knew that he would be desperate to feel Kurt’s comforting embrace.

That Kurt wasn’t seeking him out in the same respect made him nervous on a level that scared him.

……………………………….

A few days later, Blaine was sitting at his desk in his room, staring at one of the workbooks that Kurt was supposed to be helping him with. He was atttempting to read but he was stuck on a series of words that looked foreign to him, and the whole thing made no sense. The longer he tried to figure it out, the more frustrated he became. Just when he was about to give up and throw the workbook on the floor, there was a knock on his door.

He looked up just in time to see Kurt enter, and his eyes lit up happily. He hadn’t seen Kurt since the funeral, and he hadn’t been expecting him. Mama had told him to give Kurt some time, so he had been trying to keep busy playing the piano and attempting to read. But now Kurt was here and Blaine jumped up, nearly running to him to give him a hug.

Kurt let out a little surprised noise at the impact of Blaine colliding with him, and hugged him back with what felt like very little enthusiasm. When Blaine realized that Kurt’s arms were slack around his waist, he pulled back and looked up at him.

“You okay?” asked Blaine.

“Not really,” said Kurt. He took Blaine’s hand. “Come, let’s sit down. I need to talk to you.”

Blaine smiled and followed him obediently over to his bed, where both of them sat on the edge, partially facing each other. The look on Kurt’s face was not very encouraging as he looked down to where he held Blaine’s hand. He was still so sad about Finn’s death, but Blaine didn’t blame him for that.

“I missed you, so much. Mama said, though, she said to give you time. So I did. I wait, for you. And here you are.” Blaine smiled, looking down at their hands as well, at the way Kurt brushed his thumb over Blaine’s knuckles so tenderly.

“This last week has been very hard,” said Kurt softly. His voice was shaky, like he was about to cry. Blaine scooted a little closer, ready to comfort him. “It’s given me a lot of time to think about things, and I’ve decided I’m not going to New York. Not yet, anyway. I’m deferring my admission to NYADA. Rachel is too. I can’t leave my parents, not after they just lost a son.”

“You’re staying here?” Blaine knew he probably shouldn’t have sounded so happy about that, especially since Kurt wanted so badly to go to New York.

“Yeah, I am,” said Kurt, nodding. He sniffled a little and Blaine reached up to wipe a tear falling down his cheek, but Kurt grabbed his wrist and pushing it away gently. Blaine pulled his hand back, like Kurt’s movements physically hurt him. 

“Kurt. What wrong?” Blaine asked.

Kurt was silent for a moment, just taking deep breaths and looking down at their hands. Blaine let him think, let him work through his thoughts the way Kurt often did for him. Eventually, Kurt looked up at him, looking him in the eye.

“I’m not sure what I want anymore, but this thing, what happened with Finn, it’s made me realize something. I’m not ready for commitment. I’m too young to just plan my whole life ahead of me. Things go wrong all the time, and I can’t just stick to this one plan. If something happens and I lose it, then I’ll have nothing,” said Kurt. The more he spoke the more the tears built up in his eyes. Blaine didn’t really understand what he was talking about anymore, but he knew it was bad so he leaned forward to offer Kurt a hug, except he was met with Kurt’s hand on his shoulder, pushing him away.

“I don’t understand,” said Blaine, starting to get a little worried by the way Kurt was acting.

“I just…” Kurt took a deep breath, trying to battle his tears that just kept coming. “I can’t do this. I can’t…I have to go.”

Kurt stood up and instantly began to head for the door. Blaine jumped to his feet and scrambled after him. 

“Kurt, wait! Kurt!” Blaine hurried but Kurt was faster, practically running down the stairs. Blaine tried to keep up, but he stumbled a little and knew he couldn’t risk falling down the stairs again. By the time he got to the bottom, Kurt was already out the door. Blaine just stopped, not wanting to go outside alone if Kurt was gone by the time he got out there.

He stared at the door sadly, but then heaved a sigh and turned around. He headed down the hall to his music room. The piano was the only thing he could think of to take his mind off of Kurt. Part of him was happy that Kurt had come to see him today, but another part of him had a bad feeling about all those things that Kurt said to him. That part of him wished that Kurt had just waited until he was better to come back to him. 

………………………..

Days passed after that, then turned into weeks. They ticked by slowly as one week turns to two, and two into three, and then finally a whole month passed without so much as hearing Kurt’s voice. At first Blaine had hope. He waited and gave Kurt time, just like his Mama kept telling him. Then after another week had passed, he called Kurt, leaving messages on his phone, several times a day almost. 

When Kurt never called back, Blaine stopped calling him in favor of lying in bed all day. He would lay on top of the covers and stare at his phone waiting for it to ring. He would sit up and stare at his door, willing it to open. Each time it did, he felt his heart skip with hope that it was Kurt coming to him, but it was always just Mama or Daddy. Eventually he stopped hoping. 

He crawled under the covers and he stayed there for days, only getting up when the need to use the bathroom was urgent enough to force him out of bed. Nearly four days passed where he didn’t even eat, which caused his head to hurt so bad that he couldn’t even get up to use the bathroom by himself. His parents were getting very worried, he could tell during his brief periods of consciousness when they both fussed over him.

When he slept, the pain seemed to just go away. In his dreams he was normal. No headaches, no brain damage, just normal old Blaine. He spoke normal and he didn’t need to be helped in the bathroom. And Kurt was there, every single time. Kurt was always there hugging him and kissing him and holding his hand. Sometimes in his dreams he was having sex with Kurt too, but he figured that's just because that was the last thing he did with Kurt when Kurt was still happy.

Waking up was always like a shock to his system. When his eyes opened he was alone in his dark room, with a dull ache in the back of his head and the confusion of his jumbled thoughts as his brain tried to work everything out. He started to lose track of days like that, everything turning into one long dark night.

One day Mama came in and was talking to him but he could barely comprehend what she was saying. He didn’t even notice when she started crying, begging him to just get out of bed and do something, anything, please. He just rolled over and curled up into his covers even more, trying to hide from the world. The only voice he wanted to hear was Kurt’s and it seemed more and more like Kurt had forgotten him. 

That hurt his heart, when he woke up with that thought, and that’s when he started to cry. He’d felt a lot of pain in his life, most of it physical, but he’d never had his heart broken. His parents had gone to a lot of trouble to ensure that it wouldn’t happen, questioning Kurt at every turn and grilling every friend that Blaine brought home. But even after all those precautions, his heart ached worse than his head as he cried into his pillow.

All he wanted to was to hear something from Kurt, to hear him say he loved Blaine or that everything was okay and he was just taking his time. He just wanted a phone call or a message or something. It was the silence that was hurting him so badly. 

One evening, three weeks after the funeral, Mama entered the room quietly and walked over to the bed, sitting on the edge. Blaine had been awake and crying solidly for nearly an hour, and for the first time in a while, he looked up at her when she gently stroked his messy, tangled hair. He leaned into the touch and sniffled.

“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” Mama whispered. She pressed something to his lips, and he realized it was a straw. Sucking from it gently, he felt cold water wash over his dry mouth. He drank nearly half the bottle she brought for him, then rolled onto his back and blinked up at her. “I wish you would get out of bed for a little while.”

Blaine let out a little groan and started to roll away, pulling the covers up. She reached out and grabbed his hand to stop him, and he didn’t fight. He just let his hands fall and stayed there on his back.

“Are you hungry?” Mama asked. Blaine shook his head, but his tummy rumbled, telling a different story. She smiled knowingly and shifted, holding a little bowl of fruit.

Blaine didn’t want to eat. He wanted Kurt. But he knew he had to eat or his head would never stop hurting, so he struggled to sit up, propped up on his pillows. Mama snagged a piece of melon on a fork and pressed it to his lips and he ate it, offering her the best smile he could muster, but it wasn’t much.

“You’re going to get through this, sweetheart. It’ll be okay. Everyone gets their heart broken sometime. Daddy broke my heart more than once before we got married and had Cooper. But we’re soulmates, so we made it through the hard times and look at us now. I know it hurts now, but things will work out,” Mama told him, feeding him more bites of fruit slowly. 

“You sure?” he asked, his voice weak and raspy from crying so much.

She nodded. “I’m positive, sweetie. Kurt may be going through something right now, but he loves you. And when you love someone as much as he loves you, it’s impossible to stop. Whatever he’s going through, it’s probably just as difficult as what you’re feeling now.”

Blaine thought about it for a minute, and thinking of Kurt hurting even half as much as he did made him a little sick. Mama offered him another piece of fruit, but he shook his head and sunk back down into the bed, pulling the covers over him again. He heard Mama sigh again, and after a moment she got up and left him alone, closing his bedroom door behind him quietly. When she was gone, he pressed his head into the pillow again and cried until he fell asleep.

…………………………….

When it passed a month without hearing anything, Blaine started to give up. He was slowly preparing himself for the worst, for having to move on and start over again with his friends and his future and his love. But one morning, he was startled out of sleep by the sound of his door banging open against the shelf behind it.

He screamed and sat straight up, pulling his blankets to his chin as he stared wide-eyed at the bright opening of the door and the figure that stood in it. He blinked as whoever it was stomped into his room over to his window and pulled back the black curtains, letting light flood into the room. Blaine let out another cry and shielded his eyes as he blinked to adjust to light he hadn’t properly seen for at least a week.

Finally his eyes seemed to adjust and he squinted as he looked up. Two hands were extended out in front of him, one of them holding one of his big white pain pills and another held a small water bottle. He followed the arms attached to the hands all the way to the person they belonged to, and was surprised to see Santana standing above him.

“Take it,” Santana insisted forcefully. 

He lifted a trembling hand and took the pill from her palm, looking at it, then up at her.

“I haven’t, I can’t take, need to eat. Haven’t eaten. Can’t take the pill,” he said, his voice sounding foreign to his own ears still after so much silence. Santana seemed to pull a granola bar out of thin air as she offered it to him as well. He gave in and accepted both the bar and the water from her, slowly eating it before swallowing his pill.

“Alright, time to get you out of bed and cleaned up. You stink, your hair looks like a family of bush babies built a nest on your head, and you’ve left a permanent dent in your mattress. Your mom recruited me to fix you,” Santana told him. She grabbed his arm and started pulling him up, and he had no choice but to go with it. 

He was pulled to his feet and she tugged him out of his room, down the hallway to the bathroom. The bathtub was already full of warm water and he stared down at it dumbly. It had been a long time since he’d had a bath, he couldn’t even remember. He did feel pretty gross.

“Alright, nugget. Strip,” commanded Santana. 

Blaine looked at her with wide eyes. She was going to help him with his bath? But he couldn’t be naked in front of her!

“Oh don’t be such a prude. It’s not like I’ve never seen a guy’s junk before. Just take your damn pants off and get in the tub.” Santana rolled her eyes and stepped closer, reaching for him like she was going to undress him herself. He squeaked and cringed away, then tugged off his shirt and dropped his pajama pants, blushing furiously as he stepped into the bathtub and lowered himself down.

Santana sat on the closed toilet lid and looked down at him, watching him as he found his shampoo and started to go through the motions of washing his admittedly gross feeling hair. She seemed to be in another world for a while, and when his hair was clean and he was washing with his favorite body wash, she seemed to snap out of her thoughts.

“Why do you take baths?” she asked him, startling him a little in the silence. Her tone was not unkind, just curious. “Why baths instead of showers?”

“They quiet,” replied Blaine. He splashed a little in the water as he washed himself, smiling at how much better he felt getting clean. “The shower, it too loud. On my head, around, everywhere. Too much noise. Bath is quiet. I can close my eyes, just, just be quiet.”

“Makes sense,” said Santana. “Do you hear like, ringing? In your head? Or buzzing? My aunt hurt her head and after that she always heard ringing.”

Blaine shook his head. “No, I don’t have that. It just…hurts a lot. And, and noises. They make it hurt. I’m sensitive to that stuff.”

“The pills help? That’s pretty strong stuff. Do you ever worry about getting addicted to those things?” Santana asked.

He thought for a moment about her questions. Kurt had a lot of the same questions when they first met, so Blaine was okay answering them now. Santana hadn’t spent a lot of time outside of school with him and definitely had never helped take care of him before, so he knew she would have a lot more questions to come.

“Yeah they’re strong,” said Blaine, finally answering. “I only take, just when it’s really bad. I don’t know where Mama puts them. Only she knows.” 

Santana nodded and sat in silence for a little while longer until Blaine declared he was finished with his bath. He stood and immediately grabbed a towel to cover himself while Santana drained the tub. Blushing, he asked her to turn around while he dried off, and she rolled her eyes and complied. With a towel around his waist, she helped him back to his room and picked out some actual clothes for him to wear, which he clumsily dressed himself in. He hadn’t worn anything but pajamas for a month, and it was a welcome change.

“We’re going to the park,” Santana declared, like Blaine didn’t get a choice in it. And apparently he didn’t, because as soon as he was dressed, Santana snagged his hand and was dragging him downstairs. She called out that they were leaving, and his parents must have known she was taking him because they didn’t stop to wait for their response, she just kept dragging him out the door.

Blaine as pulled to Santana’s car, and he scrambled to get inside quickly. The ride was short, he didn’t live very far from the park, and once they got there, Santana got out and was at the passenger door, pulling it open before he could even think twice about it. She offered a hand and he climbed out of the car, taking a deep breath in the fresh air.

It was the best thing he felt in weeks. 

“Are you ever afraid to ride in the car with people? Seeing as cars kind of caused all your problems…” Santana took his hand and they started walking along the dirt path that wound through the forested section of the park. 

Blaine shrugged, looking down at the ground as they walked.

“Cars don’t scare me,” he said. “People scare me.”

Santana kicked a rock and it went bouncing down the path.

“People scare me too,” she admitted softly. 

Squeezing her hand, he let her know silently that it was okay to be afraid. Most people couldn’t imagine strong, tough, snarky Santana Lopez admitting that she was afraid of something, but Blaine wasn’t most people. Blaine would never tell anyone that Santana had opened up and showed him her weaknesses. He would never even tell anyone that she had weaknesses. 

They walked for a long while until they came upon a swing set in a clearing, which Blaine insisted on going to. Santana couldn’t help but laugh as he dragged her over to it and made her swing with him. It was fun going on the swings, soaring through the air, feeling the breeze through his hair as he pumped his legs back and forth.

After a little while, he grew tired and stopped, letting the swing’s momentum carry him until finally he stopped, his feet skidding a little on the ground. Santana sat quietly, scuffing a foot back and forth in the sand below her.

“So what’s the deal? Why did you chain yourself to the bed for so long?” asked Santana. 

Blaine’s smile fell instantly and he frowned bitterly, thinking of Kurt casually didn’t hurt, but thinking of what he had done to him in the last month sure did.

“Kurt,” said Blaine, as if that was all the explanation he could offer.

“I haven’t seen him around. I couldn’t tell you what his deal is, nugget. He just lost his brother though, and things are different now. He thought he had everything worked out. We all did. We were all going to get out, and now none of us are. It’s like Finn died to stop us all from going out into the big bad world,” said Santana, scuffing her foot one more time before standing up, both her hands on her hip as she paced back and forth in front of him.

“You can go,” said Blaine, looking up at her and watching her.

“I can’t leave you,” said Santana. She stopped in front of him and looked at him with an odd expression, more affectionate that he had ever seen her look at anyone before. “You’re all I have now. Besides my parents, you and Kurt and Rachel.”

“What, Brittany?” Blaine questioned.

“I broke up with her,” said Santana. Then she laughed. 

Blaine didn’t think that was something to laugh about as his jaw dropped. He never thought she would break up with Brittany! She loved her! 

“I want to be bigger than this place, and I love her, but she represents everything I don’t want my life to be. Simple and stuck in this town. I need to be more than that. And she didn’t want to go to New York. She doesn’t like you because she thinks you’re too smart for her.” Santana laughed again, this time kind of bitter but with a roll of her eyes. Blaine laughed a little at that too. He wasn’t too smart for anybody, not even Brittany.

“I always afraid, maybe, that, that Kurt think that. Maybe why, he, why he stopped. Talking to me, too much work. So he say he stay, but then he never come see me,” said Blaine. He twisted himself back and forth a little in his swing.

Santana shook her head quickly. “No way. Kurt wouldn’t do that. Kurt loves you. He wouldn’t break up with you. You’re his everything.”

“Yeah well,” Blaine huffed. “Funny way to show it.”

Blaine frowned and looked down at his own feet. He was getting so tired of being upset because of Kurt. No matter how much his heart ached just to see him again, Blaine was starting to think he may be better off just trying to force happiness through the pain. 

“Well, I’ll just have to have a talk with him then,” declared Santana. Blaine’s head shot up and he looked at her, exasperated. 

“No. Tana. No. Don’t. Leave Kurt alone,” said Blaine, not wanting Santana’s wrath to be unleashed on Kurt.

“Oh fine,” said Santana, going back over to sit on her swing. She swung back and forth gently for a minute. “Your mom was really worried about you. You can’t go around scaring her like you did, okay? She didn’t think you’d ever get out of bed.”

Blaine gave a little shrug and said, “I know. I was just too sad. I love Kurt _so_ much. I wish he would come back to me. It’s been too long.” 

“You two are the real deal. He’ll get over whatever it is that’s going on with him, and he’ll come back to you. Just wait.” Santana looked over and gave him an encouraging little smile. “Come on. Let’s go back. You look like you could use a decent meal. Your mom’s cooking for you.”

Hearing that, Blaine’s tummy gave an enthusiastic growl, causing both of them to laugh. Okay, so he was a little bit hungry. He really missed Mama’s cooking anyway, so he got up and followed Santana back to her car, ready to stop thinking about the Kurt sized ache in his heart for just a little while longer.

………………………….

Kurt was on the couch, draped in a blanket that had belonged to Finn. When he saw it, he couldn’t stand to have it packed away. Something about it just called to him. He pulled it out of the pile of Finn’s things and stashed it away in his room. Packing Finn’s things had been the hardest. Too many tears in one day. That happened a lot, in the last few weeks. 

It was so depressing, the weeks following Finn’s death. His saving grace were the days, when both his dad and Carole were at work. When they were both home, they were either too silent, or talking too much to overcompensate for Finn’s absence. Kurt loved them both, and he was willing to spend another year at home for them, but he was going crazy from the sadness.

There was so much missing from his life, but he didn’t feel like he could really do anything about it, which made it even worse.

He flipped through the channels on the TV, not finding anything worth watching on it. Just when he was about to give up and watch some reruns of something from the DVR, the doorbell rang. Kurt sighed and stood, walking to the door with the blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He half expected yet another obnoxious neighbor visiting to check in on their family, but was shocked when he opened the door to reveal Rachel. 

“Rachel, hey.” Kurt quickly stepped aside to let her in. It was the first time he’d seen her since the funeral. She looked tired and frail as she walked in.

“I’ve missed seeing you but I couldn’t bring myself to come here earlier. It just hurt too much, you know? He lived here…” Rachel took a deep breath and looked up. Kurt could see in her eyes how hard she was trying to compose herself. 

“I know,” said Kurt. “I know how it is. Every day I walk by his room on the way to mine and I just…I miss him.”

Rachel’s shoulders quivered a little and she stepped closer to him, into his arms. He hugged her tight, holding her against him. When she finally pulled back, she took his arm and they walked back into the living room, to sit down. On the couch, she curled up beside him and wormed her way under Finn’s blanket as well. Kurt let her be there, needed the comfort of the touch of another person. 

“I’ve missed my best friend,” sighed Rachel. “I decided I couldn’t stay away any longer. I lost Finn, and I couldn’t lose you either. I forced myself to get up to come see you. At least you’ve had Blaine to help you through all this…”

Kurt stiffened at the mention of Blaine’s name. He had forced himself not to think about Blaine, but it didn’t always work. Things were always reminding him of Blaine, and Blaine was always in his dreams. He knew it was stupid to try to distance himself from Blaine, he still loved him so much, but losing Finn had changed him in ways he couldn’t explain.

“Blaine and I…I broke up with him,” said Kurt, not looking down at Rachel’s reaction. He felt her sit up beside him, then he cringed when she slapped his arm.

“Are you an idiot?” Rachel shrieked. “How could you do that? I just lost my soulmate. _Forever_! And you gave yours up?”

Kurt stood up, the truth of her words cutting deep. He paced back and forth for a moment, then stopped facing her.

“I couldn’t help it, okay? I couldn’t think about him, not with everything going on. Everything is different now. I can’t promise him the future he wants. I couldn’t take care of him like he needs,” said Kurt defensively. He put his hands up, then dropped them, shaking his head.

“Are you kidding me? Kurt, that’s bullshit and we both know it. I can’t believe this. Have you thought about how badly this hurt him? Are you punishing him or yourself?” Rachel looked up at him with eyes full of disapproval. 

Kurt stared for a moment, not sure how to respond. Had he broke up with Blaine with the intention of punishing anyone? Had he done it to himself, keeping himself from Blaine because he didn’t feel like he deserved happiness? Or had he done it to Blaine, so that Blaine could feel the sadness he felt? 

“I don’t know…” said Kurt. He sighed and flopped back down on the couch, letting his head fall back. “I don’t know, Rachel. You’re right. He’s my soulmate and I just…let him go. Maybe I was punishing both of us. Finn’s gone, and he’ll never have a future. So why should we?”

“Finn’s gone, that’s true,” said Rachel, shifting sideways to look at him. She took his hand and held it in both of hers. “But Finn wouldn’t want you to suffer because of him. We both know that. He would want you to be happy, to have a good life with the guy you love more than anything.”

“You’re right,” said Kurt with a sigh. “You’re right. I should…I should talk to him. I really do miss him. I think it’s been making all this so much harder, not having him around.”

“Well, when I’m done with you, you can go get him back. But for now, I need the comfort of my best friend.” Rachel settled back in her spot by his side, but this time she had all of Finn’s blanket and she wrapped it around herself. Pressing her nose into the fabric, she breathed it in. Then she sighed and looked up at Kurt, her eyes almost twinkling with an amusing memory.

“What?” asked Kurt.

“Finn and I had our first time on top of this blanket,” she said, smiling as Kurt’s eyes widened. 

“Oh hell no.” He scooted away from her, trying to put some distance between them. “I’ve been curled up in that blanket for weeks. Oh my god.”

For the first time since Finn died, Rachel could not hold back a laugh.

………………………….

Kurt walked up to the Anderson’s front door and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He reached up to the doorbell and gave it one push, then rocked back and forth on his heels nervously. Footsteps could be heard coming up to the door, then the click of the lock, and then it opened to reveal Blaine’s mother. 

As soon as Viv saw him, the smile on her face faded. She stepped forward and closed the door so it was open enough just for her.

“What are you doing here?” she questioned. Before he had time to answer, she kept talking. “No calls, no messages, nothing. For five weeks. Do you know what we’ve been through because of you? All he's done for weeks is sleep and cry. We only just got him out of bed. Before you say a word to me I’m giving you a chance. Walk away right now and never come back, and stay out of Blaine’s life forever. If you come in, you’re not allowed to hurt him ever again.”

Kurt stood there, stunned, and blinked. He hadn’t expected her to be this hostile to him, but then again, he had probably broken Blaine’s heart. Something he promised to never to do. Thinking about Blaine being heartbroken to the point of depression made Kurt’s heart ache. He had never wanted to hurt Blaine that much, he just didn’t know what he was doing when he left him.

“I want to come in,” said Kurt confidently. “I never meant to hurt him. I see what I did was wrong now, and I’m sorry. Just please let me see him. I miss him.”

Viv seemed to contemplate it for a moment, then almost reluctantly stepped back, allowing him to enter the house. He let out a relieved sigh and stepped inside. The sound of piano music filled the house and Kurt glanced back at Viv. She gestured down the hall, and he nodded. He followed the sounds of the music, smiling at the haunting, beautiful melody. It seemed sad in a way, and it was the best way to know how Blaine was feeling. 

He opened the door to the music room slowly and slipped inside, then he looked up to see the sight of Blaine sitting with his head down and his eyes closed, playing intently. The door clicked closed and Blaine’s head tipped up. When he laid eyes on Kurt, he gasped and he stopped playing instantly, then just sat there staring at him.

“Kurt…?” Blaine asked softly.

Kurt offered him a shaky smile and nodded. Blaine was so much more beautiful than he remembered. Everything about him made Kurt realize what he had been trying to ignore and forget about had been the best thing Kurt would ever have. He stepped closer, falling to his knees beside the piano bench. Blaine looked so small, even from below, as he sat closed in and curled away from Kurt. 

“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry. I…I can’t say that enough. For what I’ve put you through, for ignoring you, for saying I didn’t want a future with you. I lied to you and I’m sorry. Blaine, just please give me another chance. Let me be yours again. I swear on my life, I’ll never hurt you again. I’ve learned my lesson. These last weeks have been so hard, not only because of Finn, but because I didn’t have you by my side. I love you so much. I never stopped loving you.” Kurt looked up at Blaine, tears forming in his eyes as he reached up for Blaine’s hand, taking it in his and sliding his fingers between Blaine’s.

“I was so sad…” said Blaine softly. “You don’t, no talking, and I was, everything lost.”

“I know honey I’m so sorry.”

“I _love_ you Kurt.” Blaine looked at him, still so much sadness sin his expression. But Blaine was never particularly a man of words, so instead of saying anymore more, he just leaned forward and placed the lightest forgiving kiss to Kurt’s lips. Kurt pressed up into the kiss, then Blaine pulled back slowly.

“Whatever happened before, I’m over it. It was just a…just a moment of weakness. I’m so sorry that it hurt you, I love you so much I never meant to do that.” Kurt shuffled closer and rested his head against Blaine’s thigh. 

Blaine looked down at him lovingly, petting a head over Kurt’s hair slowly.

“I forgive you,” said Blaine. Because that’s the kind of man he was. He was incapable of holding things against people he loved, and in that moment Kurt was grateful for it. It would take a little while for them to bounce back to what they had been, but Kurt had a feeling that within no time, it will be like this mistake he made will have never happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this, thanks to all my readers!


	10. Blaine Drops Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine's parents send him back to school for his senior year, but some unpleasant experiences cause everyone to rethink that decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick warning: This chapter depicts bullying and minor violence toward a person with a disability.

Kurt rolled onto his back, naked and sweating and panting as he stared up at the ceiling. His whole body buzzed with a familiar high as he smiled contently. After a moment, the bed shifted beside him and he felt the sticky warmth of Blaine’s naked skin pressed against him, snuggling into his side and resting his head on Kurt’s chest. Kurt wrapped an arm around him, holding him close. 

“That, it was so good,” Blaine mumbled, pressing a soft kiss to Kurt’s chest. He shuddered and gently rubbed his hand down Blaine’s arm. 

“Yeah it was. Have you been taking lessons? Those were some new moves, I thought,” Kurt said, chuckling softly as he leaned down to give Blaine’s messy curls a kiss in return.

It had been an abnormally warm August, and the two of them had been nearly inseparable since the disaster of their almost-but-not-really break up. Blaine seemed to have completely forgiven Kurt for everything that had happened, and they spent most of their days doing exactly what they had just done. 

Never having considered himself a particularly horny person in the past, Kurt was surprised by just how much and how often he was craving Blaine’s touches and Blaine’s naked skin and Blaine’s cock inside of him. Everything about Blaine drove him crazy with desire, and he seemed insatiable.

Blaine didn’t seem to mind one bit, though. Some days Blaine could hardly sit still when they weren’t in the process of ripping each other’s clothes off. Sometimes they would be watching a movie or just cuddling, and Blaine would be antsy and fidgety, twisting and shifting almost constantly before admitting with a little whine that he was half hard in his pants just from the thought of what they would no doubt do later on.

Kurt had no problems indulging. He would take things slow some days, worshipping Blaine’s body and taking his turn of making slow, sweet love to him. Other days they would fuck hard and fast, usually with Blaine on top, letting their hormones take over and control their movements. Their relationship wasn’t based only on sex, but they sure didn’t mind enjoying it.

“It was an accident, first, then, it felt good so I did it again.” Blaine answered Kurt’s question, looking up at him with a happy little smile. Kurt brushed his hand over Blaine’s sweaty curls, amazed at how beautiful his boyfriend was. Laying like this, the pleasure still buzzing through him, it was so easy for Kurt to forget that Blaine even had brain damage.

Smiling contently, Kurt realized that Blaine’s eyes had drifted closed and he had fallen asleep on Kurt’s chest. He wrapped both arms around him, keeping him close. Since getting back together, neither of them had made any mention of the future. They simply lived every moment without worry, and living that way, he had fallen even more in love with Blaine, enjoying every moment he had with him.

…………………………………

After spending a weekend at home, Kurt couldn’t wait to get back to Blaine’s house. It had almost become more of a home to him than his own house, and he felt bad for it. He loved his family, and especially his dad, but every time he went home all he could think about was either how empty the house was without Finn or how empty his arms were without Blaine. 

He drove over to Blaine’s house on a Tuesday morning. It was the first week of September, and Kurt only yearned a little bit for the life in New York that he had postponed for a year. Every day that he spent in Lima was a day he got to spend with Blaine, though. Even when he went to work at his dad’s shop some days, Blaine went with him and helped out. He was looking forward to another full year of spending his days (and nights) with the boy he loved.

Pulling up in front of Blaine’s house, he got out of his car and headed right for the door. He never had to knock anymore, so he just let himself in. The house seemed quiet, except for music coming from the speakers in the kitchen. Walking in, he found Blaine’s mom cleaning the counters.

“Hey,” said Kurt, smiling at her as she looked up at him. She smiled as well at first, and then her smile faded.

“Hi, Kurt. I didn’t think you were coming over until later,” said Viv as she went back to her cleaning. 

“Oh. Well, is Blaine here?” he asked, looking around. It seemed like she was alone in the house, which seemed a little odd.

“No, I thought you knew. School started today. He had to go back.” Viv gave a little shrug and Kurt’s heart fell from his chest to his feet. 

“You sent Blaine back to that school?” Kurt questioned. He knew it had been a possibility, he’d heard Jack and Viv talking about it. Blaine had even mentioned it once or twice. But he hadn’t actually thought they would do it. That school was awful to Blaine. All of Blaine’s best friends had graduated the year before, and none of the remaining kids in the glee club were particularly enthusiastic about taking him under their wing.

“Of course we did. He still has another year left. Unless something seriously goes wrong, we want him to finish high school. Blaine wants to graduate as well, he talks about it sometimes. He seemed to adjust relatively well to McKinley last year,” said Viv.

“Yes, because he had me. And Santana. And Rachel. With all due respect, I think it’s a terrible idea for him to be back at that school,” said Kurt seriously. He stepped into the kitchen, feeling more than a little protective of Blaine. Viv stood up straight and turned to face him, looking annoyed that they were even having this conversation.

“I think by now you have a bit of pull in this household, in saying what’s good or bad for Blaine, but you know as well as I do how badly he just wants to be a normal boy. He’s seventeen years old. Seventeen year olds go to school. That’s where he is right now. If he’s too unhappy with the situation after a couple of weeks, we’ll reevaluate. But for now, we’re his parents, it’s our decision.” Viv had a hand on her hip as she stared him down, and Kurt had no choice but to not say anything else on the matter. She may have been a small woman, but she could be intimidating.

“Fine,” said Kurt. “I’ll pick Blaine up from school later. He’ll be happy to see me after the horrible day he’s going to have.” 

Viv sighed and gave him a look that had him backing away, heading toward the door. She called out an annoyed “goodbye”, which he returned before leaving the Anderson house.

Kurt knew that both Jack and Viv had lost patience for him at least a little bit ever since he had abandoned Blaine for all those weeks. Promises were law in the Anderson house, and he had broken one he made to both Blaine and his parents. He understood why they were still reticent about him being such an influential part of Blaine’s life, but he really hated being left out of decisions that could affect his life with Blaine.

He spent most of his day just waiting. He went home for a while and waited, went to his dad’s shot and waited, then drove to McKinley High and waited. Watching the doors, he waited while students filed out of the doors for nearly half an hour. Not a single one of them appeared to be Blaine though, and Kurt instantly became worried. 

Parking his car, he got out and headed for the school, looking around as he neared the entrance for any sign of Blaine. Just as he was almost to the doors, they opened to reveal Mr. Schuester walking Blaine out of the school, talking with him. 

“Kurt!” Blaine looked up at him, instantly smiling. He left Mr. Schue mid-sentence and hurried over to Kurt, hugging him tight.

“Hey you.” Kurt hugged him back and kissed his forehead lightly. “I’ve been waiting for you. What took you so long?”

Blaine glanced back at Mr. Schue, then up at Kurt. “We was talking. It okay, Kurt.” 

Kurt nodded and looked over at his former teacher, smiling. “Nice to see you again, Mr. Schue.”

“You too, Kurt. Take care.” The older man waved and turned, heading back to the school. 

Taking Blaine’s arm, Kurt began to walk him to the car, glad to have his boyfriend back again. He hadn’t realized how dependent he had become on his time with Blaine and the schedule they had formed.

“Mr. Schue says if I, that if the people at school are mean, he says to tell him. He wanted me to know. He says I should come back to glee club too. I don’t know about that. Nothing is the same, not without you,” said Blaine as he put his backpack in the back seat of the car and climbed into the passenger side.

“That’s great, Blaine,” said Kurt, not sounding very enthusiastic. He couldn’t help it, he was still dwelling on how Blaine had gone back to school without a single word about it to him. Not that he really blamed Blaine, who wasn’t known for having the greatest memory in the world. But it still bothered him. He couldn’t help but think if there was one thing he missed, what other things were being withheld from him?

“Kurt why you mad?” asked Blaine softly, looking over at him, his eyebrows drawn together in concern.

Reaching over to take Blaine’s hand, Kurt gave him a little smile and squeezed it. “I’m not mad, honey. Not at all. I just missed you today. A lot. I wish you had told me you were going back to school. You didn’t mention it once.”

“Oh…” Blaine looked down at his lap. “Sorry. I thought, you gone to school before, you would know.” 

“But I don’t go to school anymore, so I don’t know when it is. You have to tell me when things are. I was very surprised when I got to your house this morning and you weren’t there,” said Kurt, glancing over at him as he started the car and then began to pull out of the spot.

“Sorry,” Blaine mumbled. He didn’t speak another word until they got to his house. When they arrived, Kurt shut off the car just as he heard Blaine sniffle softly. Kurt’s heart melted a little when he realized Blaine was crying, and he instantly grabbed his hand again.

“Honey, don’t cry. What’s the matter?” he asked, ducking down to look at Blaine’s downcast eyes. 

“I don’t…don’t want, if you, you mad at me, then, then you might leave me again,” muttered Blaine, sniffling and wiping his nose on the back of his hand. 

“Oh, Blaine…honey never. Never again. Nothing will never make me do that to you ever again. Please don’t think that.” Kurt brought his hand up to tip Blaine’s chin up, looking him in the eyes and seeing the actual worry in Blaine’s emotion filled eyes.

“I quit school, I will, to be with you,” said Blaine, stroking his fingers lightly over Kurt’s arm in the soft way it seemed only Blaine was capable of.

“No,” said Kurt. “No, I don’t want you to quit anything for me. You do what you have to do to make you happy. That’s all I really want, is for you to be happy.” 

Blaine nodded and gave a little shrug, then opened the car door and climbed out, leaving Kurt sitting there watching him as he got his backpack out of the back seat. Finally Kurt got out as well, following Blaine up to the front door.

“Can I still spend time with you tonight?” asked Kurt as they reached the porch. Blaine paused and looked up at him.

“Of course,” said Blaine, reaching for Kurt’s hand. He tugged him inside, then straight to the stairs and up to his room. Closing the door behind them, Blaine tossed his backpack on the floor and turned to smile at Kurt. “Do you think, maybe, you could help again? With homework, like last year? I think, it’s gonna be a hard year.”

“Don’t you worry about a thing. I’ll help you with anything you need, and I’ll still help you with your workbooks, too,” said Kurt, leading Blaine over to the bed. He leaned closer and pressed a soft kiss to Blaine’s lips. “We need to talk about you.”

“Me?” asked Blaine, going in for another kiss.

“Yes you.” Kurt kissed him back, then gently tapped the end of Blaine’s nose with the end of his finger, causing it to crinkle up adorably. Blaine giggled softly and shuffled a little closer to Kurt, who slipped his arm around Blaine’s waist. “I want you to remember something very important. You need to tell me the second someone starts giving you a hard time at school, okay? I know things weren’t easy for you last year and you can’t really expect that to stop just because it’s a new year.”

Blaine suddenly looked so sad that Kurt wished he hadn’t said a thing. Kurt had known a fair amount of bullying in his day and the effects of Kurt’s own bullying experiences still lingered in the back of his mind occasionally. He knew that what Blaine had experienced was always with him as well. Kurt wanted to protect Blaine as much as he could from getting hurt any more, which he had a bad feeling would happen if Blaine kept going to school.

“Mama and me talked, long time ago. We, we decided that since you wasn’t going to New York anymore that I would do this. I wanna graduate. I wanna be normal. You and Rachel and Santana…you all graduated! So did Cooper, when he, he was in school. Long time ago, though. I wanna have that too.” Blaine rested his cheek on Kurt’s shoulder, his eyes downcast. Kurt hugged him close.

“You will, honey. You will. No matter what, I’ll help you get it. But you still have to promise me you’ll tell me if anything bad happens,” said Kurt, pressing a soft kiss to the top of Blaine’s head. Today his hair was covered in slightly too much gel, and Kurt had to wipe the stickiness off his lips. 

“Kurt?” asked Blaine softly, tipping his head back to look up at him with those big eyes of his. 

“Yes Blaine?” asked Kurt, his arm around Blaine the only thing keeping him from falling backward.

“Can we make out now?” Blaine sounded so innocent asking the question that it made Kurt laugh. Not just a small, chuckling laugh in reply, but a full on laughter that lasted until his ribs were aching and he was out of breath.

He looked up at Blaine, who just sat there looking at him with a silly grin on his face, and nodded. 

“Yes. Yes we can make out now,” answered Kurt just before he grabbed Blaine by his shirt and pulled him down on the bed, kissing him long and hard.

……………………………….

Two weeks of school passed before Blaine experienced anything negative. Things in general had seemed to be working out okay for him. Daddy drove him to school on his way to work in the mornings, and he went to his morning classes. Lunch was the best part of the day, because he sat at the table with Tina and Sam, who were part of the glee club also and who seemed to tolerate his presence. Then Sam walked him to his afternoon classes, which were new additions to the school that year. 

Blaine didn’t know why everyone was so surprised that some Sue person gave up money from her cereal group to hire a special education teacher at McKinley, but he was happy at the idea of having classes again with people who actually sort of understood him. At least until he got to the class. 

The people in there were actually nothing like him. There was Becky and a boy named Tommy who both had Down syndrome, and there were a bunch of kids that seemed perfectly normal, except that they couldn’t really read very well at all which Blaine could kind of relate to. Another kid had problems paying attention to stuff, and he broke things a lot. He scared Blaine because he was the closest to being like him of any of them.

In his normal classes, he was still a freak. He knew it, because people never failed to tell him so. He was in the glee club with all the fairies and losers, and he was in the slow class for all the stupid kids. But those insults weren’t new, so he tried not to let them get him down. He went to every class with a smile on his face and tried to keep up.

The simple facts of it all were that even with a special education program, he still couldn’t keep up in his other classes. There were too many kids with special needs for his teacher to give him enough one on one attention, and at home even with Kurt tutoring him, Kurt ended up doing a lot more of his work than he did. Blaine knew even before his senior year started that it was over. There was no way he was smart enough to get a high school diploma.

But still, he would try his hardest to reach his goal.

Even though he hated getting out of bed and leaving Kurt behind every morning, he still got out of bed early and got dressed and went to school. He went to all his classes every day and he tried his hardest to pay attention in them. Sometimes he even went to glee club when he wasn’t feeling too tired and he would play piano for the new kids who sang in the club. 

It was all okay, until the third week of school came around. There were two boys. They were a lot bigger than Blaine, and for some reason they didn’t like him at all. One of them had picked on him the year before, and the other was a new kid on the football team. Neither of them missed an opportunity to shove him against the lockers as they walked by, or to shout names at him. It was starting to be a bit of a repeat of the last public high school he went to, and it quickly started to unnerve him.

As a couple more weeks passed, Mr. Schuester knew there was something going on, which was why he often walked Blaine out to the car of whoever was picking him up that day. It just happened that the bullies knew exactly when there weren’t any teachers around, and saved all their meanness for those times. And when Blaine showed up to class crying, his teachers didn’t seem to care much. Often the just ended up sending him to the nurse or to Miss Kim, the special education teacher.

Miss Kim knew about his episodes and how sometimes he just got to the point where he couldn’t control his emotions, and she would put it off to that. She wouldn’t listen to him about the bullies, not because she didn’t care, but because the new bully just happened to be her little brother. Her little brother would never, ever hurt Blaine like that, she insisted.

Blaine quickly learned the best ways to avoid his tormentors though. He would hurry at his locker, run to his next class, and sit tucked in the back corner with his book open and a picture of Kurt laid over the page so he could just stare at his boyfriend when he needed to remember why he was even at school in the first place. He wanted to get that high school diploma so that he could be normal for Kurt.

After a whole week of not even seeing the bullies, Blaine let his guard down. He was walking to his afternoon class by himself, smiling as he hummed happily. The hallways were mostly empty, so he hadn’t expected it when seemingly out of nowhere two meaty hands wrapped around his arms and yanked him nearly off his feet. A hand covered his mouth just in time to muffle his surprised scream. 

He pulled and thrashed and kicked out and tried to scream as the two jocks dragged him down the hallway. The special education classrooms were in a part of the building mostly occupied by closets and a supposedly haunted old girls bathroom that no one except the skanks and the bullies occasionally used. Blaine knew that’s where they were taking him even before they got close. He tried to pull himself loose from their grip, but they were too strong.

Blaine was crying by the time the shoved him through the bathroom door. It swung open and they shoved him to the floor. He stumbled back and landed on his butt hard, making him cry out again as a sharp pain radiated from the base of his spine. 

“Listen up, freak,” the jock that had bullied him last year said. Blaine sniffled and looked up at them, curling his body close to try to avoid becoming a target even more. 

“Please…go away…” he whined softly.

“We told you last year you could be either a retard or a faggot, but you couldn’t be both. You got away with a lot of shit last year, playing that retard card and avoiding my fists. But I think the time has come where you’re officially more of a faggot than a retard,” said the larger boy, hovering over Blaine with his hand curled into a fist.

“We seen you walking around town,” said the new jock, stepping closer to him as well. “Holding hands with that fairy Hummel, staring at his picture like a fucking lost puppy, and once you even had the nerve to kiss him in the movie theater while I was there with my girlfriend. It was gross. And you need to know that is not okay.” 

Blaine whimpered and curled in even more. He didn’t want to listen to them. There was nothing wrong with kissing Kurt. They were the wrong ones for saying that. But still, he was the one on the floor, his arms covering his head and waiting for what was to come. 

“If this faggy shit continues, we’re gonna be forced to take a more drastic measure. But for now, consider this a warning.” The first jock grabbed him by his shirt and hauled him to his feet, then shoved him against the wall. He punched Blaine hard in the stomach with his thick, strong hands, then backed away as Blaine slumped to the floor, stunned by the pain as all the wind seemed to be knocked out of him.

“Remember, fag. A warning,” said the second jock. And then they were gone and Blaine was alone in the bathroom.

He curled up, crying as he tried to take deep breaths through the pain. He covered his tummy with his arms, as though that would make it better. It hurt deep inside, and it made him cough ever few breaths. He wanted to get up, to find someone, tell them, ask for help, something. But he couldn’t. He was frozen on the floor of a filthy old girls bathroom, his mind going in frantic circles about _why would they do that_ and _what did I do to deserve this_ and _someone help please I need help it hurts_. 

A few hours seemed to pass after that, but Blaine didn’t notice. He had all but lost consciousness as he spiraled himself down into an episode, and it took a good long time for the tears to wear off. Eventually he managed to pull himself back to the present, even though his head hurt so bad from the effort of it. He stumbled to his feet, clutching his aching tummy with one hand as he managed to make it down the hallway. 

School seemed to be out, so he made his way to the front entrance. There were quite a few cars still out there, so it hadn’t been over too long. He looked until he spotted Kurt’s familiar car and walked over to it slowly. Kurt was waiting, leaning up against the back of it. He waved to Blaine, then hurried over to him when he saw how bad he looked.

“Blaine! Oh my god, Blaine. Honey! What happened to you? I was just about to go in and look for you! What’s the matter?” Kurt grabbed his hands and leaned down enough to catch his downcast eyes. He gasped when he saw how red they were from crying.

“Head hurts,” Blaine mumbled in reply. 

Kurt pulled him into a tight hug and pressed a kiss to his temple. 

“It’s okay. I’ll get you home and get you one of your pain pills. Then you can take a nap and it’ll be all better,” said Kurt softly, keeping his voice low almost a whisper. He led Blaine over to the car and helped him into the passenger seat, then reached across his lap to buckle him in.

“Just…hurts,” mumbled Blaine, letting his head slump against the cold of the window. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, just like that.

…………………………………

_Faggot._

_You stupid faggot. You stupid retarded faggot and your stupid fairy boyfriend._

_I oughta kill you, stupid faggot._

_They yelled at him as the kicked him to the ground. They stepped on him, all over him, their huge feet almost as big as his body as they crushed him into the dirt. He couldn’t even cry, he was paralyzed with fear as a foot was about to kick him, the monstrous shoe covered toes aiming right for his head._

_No! He tried to scream. No! Anything but my head please! Please not my head it hurts so bad already please don’t hurt it please please please please!_

_Fucking faggot. You don’t even deserve that fairy boyfriend of yours. Kill you!_

_No please not my head please please please oh God oh Kurt please anyone please stop it please no my head!_

“Blaine! Blaine, honey, wake up!”

Blaine jerked away suddenly, sitting up so fast that it made his head swim with confusion and pain. He cried out suddenly and grabbed at his hair, trying to grab a fistful of it, trying to pull until the pain subsided.

Kurt’s hands were there, gently prying his fingers apart and soothing him gently as he pressed gently kisses to Blaine’s soaking wet tear stained cheeks. 

“You were dreaming,” said Kurt softly. “Sounded like a nightmare. But it’s okay, honey. It’s okay. It was just a dream. None of it is real. I promise, you’re safe now.” 

He kept pressing soft little kisses all over Blaine’s face as he hugged him close. Blaine just cried softly, one of his hands wrapped tightly around Kurt’s arm as he held on to him tight. Kurt held him like that until his body went slack again, and he drifted back into the darkness of sleep.

…………………………….

When Blaine woke up again, it was peaceful and slow, his eyes blinking open and adjusting to his room. It was dark, the way Mama always kept it when he wasn’t feeling well. Except there was a lamp on in the corner of the room. With a soft little grunt, he pushed himself up to see who was sitting at his desk. He smiled seeing Kurt there, books and papers scattered over the desk. 

Kurt heard his little grunt and looked up from what he was doing. He gave Blaine a little smile and stood up from the desk chair. Blaine watched with hungry eyes as Kurt stretched his arms high above his head and his shirt rode up just enough to show him gorgeous patch of pale skin. Blaine wanted to kiss it, but he didn’t think now was the time.

“You’re awake,” said Kurt, lowering his arms and walking over to him. Blaine nodded and watched Kurt sit at the side of his bed. “It’s almost noon. You slept right through you alarm and we decided to just call you in sick for today since you weren’t feeling well last night at all.” 

Blaine rubbed at his eyes, at the crusty little bits in the corners of them. His hair felt stringy and dirty, from not having a bath the night before. Pushing himself further into a sitting position, he winced and tried not to cry out as his tummy twisted sharply in pain. The muscles there quivered as he lowered himself back down.

“Blaine?” Kurt asked softly, his voice filled with concern. He glanced down to where Blaine’s hands had rested over the spot that hurt so bad, and Kurt shifted closer to him. “Can I look?”

Blaine nodded, moving his hands slowly. Kurt lifted up his shirt, then gasped at what he saw. Blaine’s tummy was covered in a huge, fist shaped bruise that stained his skin purple and black. As Kurt brushed his fingers over it gently, Blaine gasped at the little shocks of pain from it. All his years of being bullied, and he’d never been beaten up until now. It sucked.

“Honey, what happened?” Kurt started to inspect Blaine for other bruises, poking and prodding him all over until he managed to squirm away.

“Just. Two guys. They was mean. Called me names and stuff. One of them…he did that.” Blaine shrugged a little and tugged his shirt back down to cover it up.

“Is that why you were so upset yesterday?” asked Kurt, his voice full of concern. Blaine nodded and looked away, feeling the burn of Kurt’s gaze. “Blaine this is serious. We need to tell your parents about this. And the people at school.”

“No,” said Blaine, shaking his head. “No, not. Not yet. I just, I want to do this. Go to school. I want to be smart. Make them proud of me, make you proud of me.”

“I’m always proud of you,” Kurt insisted. “You’re an amazing man, Blaine. I don’t need you to have a high school diploma for me to think that. But it’s your choice to go back. I won’t say anything this time if that’s what you really want, but the second they try to hurt you again, you’ve got to tell me and I won’t keep it a secret. Okay?”

Blaine gave a little shrug, then a reluctant nod. “Yeah, okay.”

“Good.” Kurt leaned over and tipped his chin up, then gave him a soft little kiss. “I love you.”

Blaine smiled a tiny, barely there smile, and returned the sentiment.

…………………………

After that, nearly a week passed with the bullies leaving him alone. He didn’t even see them in all that time, and just when his bruises were fading and he was hoping to be safe again, it happened. He was on his way to lunch, eager to hear what new funny impressions Sam had cooked up for him that day, and texting Santana about going to a movie with her and Kurt and Rachel later that afternoon. 

It took so much of his concentration to text on his phone, between his coordination not being so good and his spelling being horrible, that he wasn’t really paying attention to where he was going. He didn’t realize he had wandered into the wrong part of school until it was too late. Bumping right into the very jocks he had been so careful to avoid, he was about to mutter an apology when suddenly his phone was smacked out of his hand so hard it left his fingers stinging.

The sound of the plastic phone hitting the floor startled him and he looked up, his eyes wide as he suddenly felt incredibly small. The two bullies towered over him, looking down at him like he was nothing but dirt for them to stop their big ugly feet into. 

“Well well, look what we have here,” said the bigger of the two.

“Our little faggot friend,” said the other.

“Remember how we gave you that warning?” said the first.

“I don’t think he does, seeing as we saw you and that fairy Hummel reenacting a disgusting gay porno kissing in the car the other day.” 

“It was the grossest thing I’d ever seen. Just about puked all over my girlfriend’s new jacket.”

“You and Hummel, you’re just about the grossest thing this town has ever seen. You’re a disgrace. And I’m sick of you using being a retard as an excuse to not know any better. It’s nasty, and you need to be taught a lesson.”

And then their hands were on him again, tight grips around his arms as they yanked him forward, all but dragging him down the hallway and out a back door. He knew where they were heading. The dumpsters were back here. They could beat him up out here and no one would know.

“Help! Please, please someone help please let me go!” Blaine screamed as he thrashed against their grip, which they just tightened as they dragged him outside.

He was crying by the time they threw him on the ground in front of one of the dumpster. He tried to curl up to protect himself, but one of the guys kicked his legs away from his chest so that his body was exposed. He kicked Blaine hard in the side, laughing at Blaine’s scream of pain. They kicked him twice more before the other guy grabbed him and pulled him to his feet, slamming him against the wall of the school. 

Blaine’s head snapped back against the brick wall, and he instantly felt agonizing pain radiating from the back of his skull. His eyes rolled back and his head drooped, and for a second it all seemed to go away before he was forced back into consciousness just in time to eye the guy’s fist aiming right for him.

“NO!” Blaine screamed. He struggled, thrashing and twisting and fighting against him. “No please, no not my head please it hurts so bad please no anything by my head _please_!” 

And suddenly it was his nightmare all over again, and the only thoughts he could manage were _oh please not my head please don’t hurt my heard I might die if you do_. 

“Shut up fag, I gotta beat the gay outta you!” The guy growled through gritted teeth, trying to hold Blaine still.

“Not my head, _please_!” Blaine begged, trying to get it through to them. They could hit him all they wanted if they just left his head alone. 

“Shut up! Just shut up!” The guy screamed at him. Blaine winced and whimpered, his eyes slamming shut as he cowered away, unable to stand being yelled at. He was crying uncontrollably, waiting for the overwhelming pain to come to his head, ready for whatever damage the guy was ready to cause to him. 

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?” Another voice shouted. Blaine whimpered again. So much shouting. So much to be scared of.

Suddenly the guy’s grip on Blaine went slack and Blaine found himself free at last. All he could do was slump down onto the concrete beneath him, one hand clutching his throbbing head and the other arm wrapping around his knees, which he pulled tight to his chest.

“Stop right there! Don’t you dare run away!” The new voice yelled. 

Blaine looked up through one open eye to see a tall figure in a track suit. The Sue person. She was saving him!

“Both of you, my office now! And if you go anywhere but there, the consequences will be even worse!” The Sue yelled again. 

The two guys, the ones who had been so mean to him, seemed to cower beneath her. They ran off, heading right back into the school where they had dragged Blaine out of. Blaine was trembling as she crouched down beside him and offered him a hand.

“Come on. Let me get you to the nurse’s office. She’ll call your parents. It’s gonna be okay,” said Sue. 

She seemed nice, which was the opposite of what he’d always heard people say about her. But he trusted his gut and took her hand, letting her help him up. His head swam as she did, causing him to sway. She caught his arm and began to walk slowly. 

“Those boys will be expelled for that. I’ll make sure of it. Beating up a disabled student. I’d recommend pressing charges if I didn’t think that would traumatize you more.” Sue was just talking to him. He couldn’t say anything in return, he was too busy crying. 

Sue took him to the nurse, where he laid down on one of the beds and was given some ice for his head and his side, where he had been kicked. His Aunt Darcy was always the best nurse, so he let her lift his shirt and inspect him to see if she could tell if anything was broken. She didn’t think so, so he was given ice and the chance to spend the afternoon resting.

What seemed like hours later Blaine was shaken awake gently, and when he opened his eyes he was surprised to see Kurt there. 

“Hey honey,” said Kurt softly. Kurt’s hands were on his face, gently cupping his cheeks in a way that made Blaine feel warm and happy, despite the ache that was slowly settling into his body. 

“What…?” Blaine asked weakly, his eyes darting around to try to remember where he was. Oh yeah. Nurse’s office.

“Sue called your parents. They let me come with them. They’re in her office right now,” said Kurt. 

Trying to sit up, Blaine found himself trembling from weakness. Kurt helped him to sit, his arms around him to stabilize him. He smiled sadly down at Blaine, stroking his fingers very softly over Blaine’s hair.

“Do you feel well enough to go to Sue’s office with me? I’ll be by your side keeping you safe the whole time,” said Kurt, shifting to the side of Blaine and wrapping an arm around his waist.

Blaine nodded and slowly pushed himself off the bed and to his feet. He didn’t really want to face the boys who had hurt him, but what choice did he have? He had never faced his bullies before, and it had just gotten him even more scared. With Kurt and Mama and Daddy on his side for now, he could be okay.

He knew he had to look them both in the eye before he decided to quit school. He wanted them to know that they hurt him. A boy who could barely defend himself with reflexes slower than a snail and a helpless nature. He hoped they were punished for hurting him too, which was something he never thought before, about anyone who had bullied him.

Kurt walked him slowly through the school until they got to Sue’s office. Blaine hadn’t realized that she was the principal now, which explained all the changes in the school since the year before. The office was packed with people. His parents, Sue, Miss Kim, the two boys, and their parents who did not look very happy. 

As soon as they walked through the door of the office, Blaine was surprised as Mama almost collided with him as she grabbed him up in a tight embrace.

“Oh my sweet baby boy I’m so glad you’re okay,” she cried as she clutched him almost impossibly close.

“Mama…hurting me…” Blaine managed to get out. She immediately released him, looking him over to see if he was okay or not. 

“Sorry, sweetheart. Here, just come sit with us for a little while.” Mama took his hand and led him over to the couch against one wall. He sat carefully and Kurt plopped down beside him, glaring at the bullies across from them as he took Blaine’s hand. As soon as they were seated and quiet, the discussion seemed to continue right where it left off before Blaine arrived.

“Please don’t expel me, I need football to get to college! I had a future here!” said the bigger of the two jocks, the one who had bullied Blaine since the year before. “I didn’t know he had brain damage!”

“But Tyler did,” said Miss Kim. She was leaning against Sue’s desk, next to the taller woman. She had her arms folded in front of her as she looked at her little brother, his eyes full of disapproval. 

“What the hell, dude?” The first bully looked at the other, who was looking down at his folded hands in his lap. He looked ashamed of himself, as he should have been. “You knew about that? This was your idea!”

The other boy, Tyler, shrugged. “I didn’t think about it. I don’t know why.”

“Clearly you weren’t thinking at all. You deserve whatever punishment Principal Sue gives you,” said Miss Kim. Blaine had never seen her look mad before, but she really did now. She told him so many times that she was sure her brother wasn’t capable of being so mean to him, but clearly she did not like being proved wrong.

“Both of you are expelled,” said Sue, her voice relatively calm and her expression stoic. “Now get out of my office.”

An almost stunned silence followed as the two boys and their parents stood. Blaine watched until they were right by the door, then he spoke up.

“Stop,” he said. He pushed himself to his feet, wobbling a little before stabilizing. Both the bullies turned to look at him, both of them not looking too happy. “You call me names. All the bad ones, just because I love my Kurt. Call me stupid, because my brain doesn’t work so well. Hurt me because I’m not the same as you. To me, that make you the stupid ones.”

He looked them both in the eyes, and Tyler just blinked before shoving open the office door and leaving, his parents following quickly. The first bully, who Blaine would later learned was named Zack, paused for a moment, then spoke up.

“I…I’m sorry.” That was all he said before he followed his friend out the door. 

When they were gone, Blaine sighed and sat back down. Kurt instantly wrapped his arm around Blaine’s shoulders, and Blaine sunk into the warm comfort of his side. 

“With all due respect, Principal Sylvester, I don’t think that this school is going to work out for Blaine anymore.” It was Mama speaking this time, and Blaine was surprised to hear it. “We thought maybe this year he would be able to succeed at least a little bit with the new classes, but it’s clear to us now that the public school system just isn’t for our son.”

“I understand,” said Sue calmly.

“I’m done,” said Blaine. He looked down, at where his thigh touched Kurt’s because they were sitting so close. He could feel everyone’s eyes on him. “It’s not working. School. It’s not. So, just, I want to just move on. I want to just live my life. I wasn’t going to graduate anyway. Maybe someday I can try, but I still can’t do the workbooks for third grade! It’s mostly the math, it’s really hard. I’m just done with school. This school. Any school. There’s always going to be someone, and I’m tired of trying.”

Silence followed for a few moments, then Mama spoke up again.

“Well, then it’s settled. If it’s what Blaine wants, then we’ll be pulling him out of school then,” said Mama. 

Blaine felt Kurt squeeze around his shoulders, pulling him a little closer. He could feel even without looked at Kurt that this made Kurt happy. He hated spending every day apart from Blaine, worrying about when those bullies would corner him alone next. Now that they had done it a second time, everyone seemed to think school was not the place for Blaine to be. He couldn’t help but agree.

…………………………….

A week after being pulled out of school for good, Blaine was lying on his bed reading a passage in one of his workbooks. He was getting better, slowly, and with Kurt’s help he knew he would get there someday. There were a lot of discussions between Kurt and Blaine’s parents in the few days after Blaine had officially “dropped out” of school, whatever that meant, many of them involving Blaine getting a GED, whatever that was. 

Whatever they were planning for his future, he found that he was happiest right where he was in the moment. Planning ahead was too hard, and thinking in the past hurt too much. He just enjoyed his time with his family and his Kurt as each day passed, not worrying about having to make it to school every day. All his days were like summer again, and that made him happier than some dumb high school diploma from a school full of bullies would anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this chapter took so long! Between the holidays and everything, it's been hard to sit down and find time to write. I know this was a bit of an angsty one, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Hope everyone had a great holiday!


	11. Kurt and Blaine's First Holiday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Burt tries to stop it, but Kurt and Blaine still find a way to spend the holidays together and end up having the very best first Christmas ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had originally intended to post this chapter around Christmas...but seeing as I didn't even start it until a week ago that obviously didn't happen. I hope you enjoy anyway!

“Whatcha dooooooin’?” Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt’s shoulders from behind, hugging him from there he was sitting at his desk in his room.

It was one of the rare days that Blaine went over to Kurt’s house to stay with him for a few days. Kurt’s dad didn’t always like that he was there, but it was one of the few ways he could get Kurt to stay home. Kurt’s stepmom was really nice to him, though. She didn’t seem to mind his condition and she was really understanding about how he had trouble sleeping without Kurt there with him. Kurt’s dad would have liked them to stay in separate rooms, but there was one time where he got really upset after a nightmare and slipped into an episode, and ever since then Kurt’s dad let them share a bed.

“Geez, Blaine, you scared me!” Kurt jumped a little when Blaine surprised him. Blaine retreated a little, his smile fading instantly. Kurt’s shoulders sagged as he turned in his chair and reached out for Blaine again before he got too far away. “Hey it’s okay…”

Blaine looked down at their hands where Kurt’s fingers had caught his, holding on by their fingertips hooked together. He took a step back toward Kurt and then gasped as Kurt tugged his arm a little hard, tipping him down so that he fell into Kurt’s lap. Instantly he felt arms around his waist, holding him tight as Kurt smiled up at him. He smiled and wrapped an arm around Kurt’s shoulders to hang on.

Kurt moved them so that Blaine could see what Kurt had been working on at his computer. It all looked just like a bunch of letters and boxes until he looked a little closer and he could make out the letters that spelled NYADA.

“Ooh. You going to college,” said Blaine, squeezing Kurt’s shoulder lightly. He knew that Kurt had wanted badly to go to college the year before, so he wasn’t surprised that Kurt was planning on going again.

“I’m reapplying to NYADA,” explained Kurt. He maneuvered Blaine on his lap so that he could get his arms around him enough to work on the laptop why Blaine was still sitting on him. Blaine watched as he typed words into boxes, his fingers moving too fast for Blaine’s eyes to follow them. If he tried it might make his head hurt.

“I thought you was already in,” said Blaine, leaning closer to the computer screen to watch the letters fill into one of the boxes. Kurt typed the words faster than Blaine could read them, so he just settled back against Kurt’s chest and watched the blobs of the words from a distance. His glasses were in his bag downstairs and he didn’t feel like going to get them. His eyes weren’t that tired anyway.

“I did get in last year. I have to reapply as a sort of formality. I’ll probably have to audition again too, but I pretty much have a spot saved for me. So does Rachel. Madam Tibideaux, she’s the dean of the school, was very understanding of why we put it off a year,” Kurt told him. Blaine hummed like he understood, which he sort of did.

“When do we get to go to New York?” he asked, his fingers gently stroking the hair at the nape of Kurt’s neck. Kurt sighed contently and paused in his typing to tilt his head, resting it on Blaine’s forearm.

“I’ll go in August with Santana and Rachel and we’ll find a place to live. Then we’ll move everything we need into the apartment. And then after everything is all set up and ready, you’ll come to live with us,” said Kurt. He pressed a kiss to the inside of Blaine’s arm, then lifted his head again and began to type into the boxes on the computer again.

“How come I can’t help you pick a place to live?” asked Blaine, pouting a little mostly because he didn’t want to have to go without having Kurt or his two other best friends around for longer than a few days.

“Because the city is a big place and your parents don’t want us to let you just wander around. We’ve got to have an apartment in a nice neighborhood so that we don’t have to worry about you. Remember how easily you get lost here in the neighborhood you’ve lived in your whole life?”

Blaine nodded.

“Well just think about how easily you would get lost in a place you’ve never even seen before,” said Kurt, looking up at Blaine pointedly.

Blaine’s shoulders slumped a little as he said, “I guess you right.”

“But that’s not for a long time. August is a lot of months away. It’s only November now. We have a lot of time to spend together before we have to worry about that,” said Kurt. He gave Blaine’s waist a little squeeze, which caused him to let out a giggle and wiggle in Kurt’s lap. Kurt blushed a little, trying not to let his thoughts wander in _that_ direction.

“Yeah. But when we live together, then we always be together. And everything isn’t just yours and mine, it will be ours. And no parents. That the best part,” said Blaine. Kurt chuckled and nodded in agreement.

“You’re right, honey. I can’t wait to live with you. It’s going to be the best. We can start building our life together for real,” said Kurt.

“And I can spend more time with you!” said Blaine, ducking his head down to kiss Kurt’s cheek.

“Well, yes. But you’ll be spending a lot of time with Rachel and Santana too. I’ll have class and I’ll probably have to find a job. Living in the city is expensive. So we’ll probably have to take turns caring for you. But that way it’ll always be exciting. We’ll always be keeping things interesting for you.” Kurt clicked something on his screen, then sat back and looked up at Blaine, who was contemplating all that Kurt had told him. “Alright, you gotta get up now. My legs are getting numb.”

Blaine nodded and smiled, then jumped up off of Kurt’s lap and immediately plopped down on Kurt’s bed. Kurt turned in his chair and watched as Blaine rolled onto his side and blinked up at him.

“Soon we have a bed that’s ours,” said Blaine, running his hand over the blankets on Kurt’s bed.

“Yeah we will,” said Kurt.

“We can do lots of things on our own bed…” Blaine looked entirely too innocent for what he was talking about. Kurt couldn’t help but laugh as he reached back and closed his laptop, then stepped over to join Blaine on the bed.

……………………………

Blaine was blushing a little as he moved the leaves of his spinach salad around on his plate at dinner. Kurt had tried to give them both plenty of time to cool off before he had to go down and make dinner, but Blaine seemed to be in one of _those_ moods today. As Kurt set the final pieces of the meal he had cooked on the table and sat down himself, he noticed his dad eyeing Blaine suspiciously.

“So,” Kurt said, almost too loudly. He seemed to startle both his dad and Blaine out of their thoughts. “Thanksgiving is just around the corner. We need to talk about what we’re going to do.”

“What do you mean?” asked Burt as he started to dig into his dinner. Kurt had to stop himself from rolling his eyes at his dad talking in the middle of chewing.

“I just mean that I want to have the holidays with all my family and…well, Blaine is part of that family now. And really, so are his parents too,” said Kurt. “You know it won’t be that great of a thanksgiving dinner if it’s just the three of us, anyway. It’ll be too quiet.”

The clang of silverware being dropped on a place made Blaine jump beside him, and Kurt immediately looked over at Carole, who was just kind of staring in shock down at her plate. Kurt sighed, suddenly feeling terrible. It had been months, but Carole was still having a hard time adjusting to life without Finn.

“Sorry,” Kurt said softly.

“It’s okay,” Carole said, her voice shaking like she was trying to hold herself together.

“Mama makes the best dinner. She always makes lots. You could come to my house,” Blaine suggested, looking up at them all. Under the table, Kurt gave Blaine’s thigh a gentle squeeze. It was silent for a moment, then Burt cleared his throat a little.

“We’ll talk about it with your parents,” said Burt, like that was that.

Blaine looked up at Kurt hopefully. They had only mentioned the holidays to each other a few times, and Kurt knew that Blaine wanted him to spend Christmas Eve with him, since that’s when his parents hosted all of their family. Kurt knew that Viv’s side of the family was always a little awkward around Blaine, his accident being a spot of tension among them. Blaine wanted to show them all that he was normal, as though that was the source of their discomfort, by introducing them to his boyfriend.

Kurt thought that maybe that would just make them think of him as a whole new kind of different, but he didn’t say anything about that.

As always, all Kurt wanted was for Blaine to be happy, so he spoke up again.

“I’d like to go to Blaine’s on Christmas Eve. I really want to meet the rest of his family,” said Kurt. Burt looked up at him, his expression unreadable.

“What about us? We have traditions, Kurt,” said Burt. He sounded annoyed, and it made Kurt angry. It seemed at every turn his dad was trying to discourage him from setting up his life with Blaine. His dad as the only one who fought him at almost every turn, who had actually been a little disappointed when Kurt had gotten back together with Blaine over the summer.

“Then we’ll start new traditions,” Kurt said, trying not to glare at his dad.

“Kurt…"

“What are you gonna do when I move to New York? Do you expect everything to stay just the same then? I’m growing up, and as much as I love the things we’ve always done, I want to start some new traditions. Ones that I get a say in, and ones that include Blaine.” Kurt cut off his dad, speaking fast and emotional, and he reached over to take Blaine’s hand.

“Damn it Kurt, it’s not about that. This family has changed too much this year!” Burt raised his voice, almost yelling but not quite.

Blaine quivered in his chair, ready to bolt at any second as his face scrunched up in discomfort.

“We lost a son. Things changed too much. Now you want us to spend the holidays without you, the one son we have left?” Burt took Carole’s hand as she tried not to start crying into her dinner.

“I don’t want to be without you guys. I never said that! I just suggested including Blaine in some way. Why is that such a terrible thing? He’s the love of my life, why can’t you just accept that?” Kurt questioned, trying to hold back tears of his own.

Before anyone else could speak, Blaine almost violently shoved his food away and ripped his hand out of Kurt’s before running down the half or the stairs. There was a moment of silence after his thudding footsteps made it upstairs and Kurt glared at his dad.

“The boy is unstable, Kurt,” said Burt, shaking his head as Kurt stood up.

“He’s perfectly predictable if you just took the time to get to know him,” said Kurt. He walked past his parents and headed upstairs after Blaine.

……………………………

The weeks passed quickly and Thanksgiving came and went. Kurt’s dad had agreed to go by whatever plans Kurt set up for them, so it had been dinner at Blaine’s house with Blaine’s parents and his brother. It had been awkward at first, the two families joined together without really knowing what to say, but then Carole had commented on Viv’s recipe for the stuffing which had sparked a conversation between the two of them that didn’t stop through the rest of dinner and even after into the cleanup.

Jack and Burt had managed to bond some, in that surly masculine way that men did during holidays, without really saying much as they both shared a beer in the living room watching the football game. The two families seemed to be blending well enough, which not only made Kurt happy but also excited Blaine.

Kurt didn’t know what biases his father had against his boyfriend, but he was glad that Burt didn’t let it get in the way of a nice holiday dinner. He had insisted that Kurt come home with them though, so after a lengthy goodbye with Blaine, Kurt headed home with his family. The dinner had been a success in his eyes, and there was nothing in the whole world he was more thankful for than Blaine.

Things passed pretty normally until Christmas came around. The fight happened again, but Kurt got his way again. He could spend Christmas Eve with Blaine’s family and stay the night, as long as he was home to help Carole make Christmas dinner.

Kurt couldn’t wait to meet all of Blaine’s family. As the holiday grew closer, Kurt began to hear stories of Blaine’s relatives that made them seem like the kind of wild, eccentric family that you only see in movies. When Christmas Eve came around at last and they all started to arrive, Kurt could see that it was truer than he could have imagined.

There was Jack’s father, who had been born and raised in Scotland and still had his accent to prove it, and Jack’s mother who was just a tiny thing, with puffy white hair and a collection of sweaters that were covered in an abundance of sequins. Jack’s brother Henry lived in San Diego and was notorious for wearing tacky flower shirts. Henry’s wife Melinda was a tall, leggy blonde who was a former supermodel that had gone tanning entirely too many times in her life. Henry had a son about Blaine’s age from his first marriage named Russ who wore a leather jacket and skinny jeans and smelled like fancy cologne.

Viv’s family was just as quirky. Her sister Celia bore a striking resemblance to Fran Drescher, including the laugh, and Viv’s mother had a head of dark gray-streaked hair so thick and curly that Kurt no longer needed to wonder where Blaine’s hair came from. Celia was married to an older man named Drew who was a classically handsome gentleman, with a little patch of gray in the front of his otherwise dyed black hair. Together they had two sets of twins, three years apart in age, the first set identical girls and the second set identical boys.

When they had all arrived to Blaine’s house, Kurt’s first impression of them all was that they were all a little crazy. His second impression was god damn the Anderson family was beautiful. There was no question where Blaine got his good looks, not that it had been before. Blaine’s parents and his brother were all beautiful people, but now seeing everyone it was impossible to deny just how gorgeous their genes were.

Kurt decided right then and there that if he and Blaine ever considered kids at all in the future they had to come from Blaine.

………………………………

So, it turned out that Blaine’s gift at the piano was genetic as well. After dinner, there had been a lot of talking and remembering, and suddenly Kurt found himself in the music room with Blaine, who sat at the piano eagerly watching as his dad and Henry grabbed a couple of guitars that gathered dust in the corner and pulled up some chairs. Viv stood next to them, leaning against the piano while the rest of the family filed into the room for a listen.

“I haven’t played this thing in forever,” said Jack, strumming the guitar a few times.

“You gonna sing for us?” asked Blaine, wiggling a little on the bench next to Kurt.

“Hmm. I don’t know. What should we play?” Jack looked over at his brother, who strummed his guitar a few times, tuning it a little as he went.

“Does anyone remember when we were in high school?” Henry asked, getting a little laugh from his parents who seemed to immediately know what he was talking about.

“Oh no, do you mean that god awful Fleetwood Mac cover band we did after I had Cooper?” Viv’s face was already tinged a little pink with a blush as a few more laughs filled the room.

“Wait what?” Cooper questioned, looking immediately interested. “Fleetwood Mac cover band? How have I never heard about this?”

“It was a dark time in our past, sweetheart,” said Viv, laughing as she turned back to Jack and Henry. “Alright. We can do one song.”

Blaine and all the kids clapped excitedly. Kurt was full of energy as well. He had always wanted his family gatherings to be like this, but he had absolutely nothing in common with anyone from his dad’s family, and none of them were particularly happy about him being the way he was. Here, he was surprisingly surrounded by people who actually couldn’t care less that he was Blaine’s boyfriend and they all seemed to share a passion for music.

“Alright if you guys don’t know this song you shouldn’t be in this family. We fed our first born on this song for six months,” said Jack by way of introduction. He glanced over at Blaine. “Join in whenever you want, buddy. You’ve got a good ear."

Blaine nodded happily at the thought of being included. Kurt laughed softly and wrapped an arm around his waist. After a few moments of silence, Jack counted them in and both the brothers began to play like they’d been doing it every day for their whole lives. The first few chords were flawless, then Jack and Viv began to sing in harmony and Kurt was instantly impressed.

“ _I don’t wanna know the reasons why  
_ _Love keeps right on walking down the line  
_ _don’t wanna stand between you and love_

_Honey, I just want you to feel fine.”_

The whole room was clapping along as they repeated the verse, and it didn’t take long at all for Blaine’s ear to catch on and his magic fingers were on those piano keys like they were the heart of the song.

“ _Finally baby  
_ _The truth has come down now  
_ _Take a listen to your spirit  
_ _It’s crying out loud  
_ _Try to believe  
_ _Oh you say you love me but you don’t know  
_ _You got me rocking and a-reeling”_

Viv was dancing around the piano as she sang, taking the hands of her two little nine year old nieces, dancing in a little triangle. Kurt felt like some mystery had finally been solved. Blaine relied so much on music as a vent for his feelings because it was in his blood. His parents were…wow. Viv had a voice that could have been famous, if she hadn’t been stuck spending her life as a housewife in Ohio.

“ _I don’t wanna know the reasons why  
_ _Love keeps right on walking down the line  
_ _I don’t wanna stand between you and love  
_ _Honey, I just want you to feel fine._ ”

_“Finally baby  
_ _The truth has been told  
_ _Now you tell me that I’m crazy  
_ _It’s nothing that I didn’t know  
_ _Trying to survive  
_ _I know you say you love me but you don’t know  
_ _You got me rocking and a-reeling  
_ _Hey you know what to do…”  
_ “ _I don’t wanna know the reasons why  
_ _Love keeps right on walking down the line  
_ _I don’t wanna stand between you and love  
_ _Honey, take a little time.”_

Viv ended the last time, “ _Aaah, I don’t wanna know_ ” in a way so beautiful but true to the song that Kurt had previously thought only capable by the likes of Rachel Berry. When they finished, everyone erupted into applause and laughter.

Eventually the family shifted from the music room down the hall, but both Blaine and Kurt stayed behind. The noise was getting to be a bit much for Blaine, so he needed a little break from it all, and Kurt was happy for any chance to be alone with his boyfriend.

“So, what you think?” asked Blaine, gesturing off into the air. Kurt knew he was asking about his family.

“They’re amazing. Funny, goofy, talented, beautiful. Just like you. Now I know where you get it from.” Kurt smiled and leaned over to give Blaine a kiss on the cheek. “But seriously, how are your parents not famous? They’re two of the most talented people I’ve ever seen.”

Blaine shrugged then said with surprising clarity, “Six months in a cover band with a baby waiting in the wings doesn’t make for a destiny on the stage.”

Kurt was stunned for a moment by Blaine’s words, almost like he had heard them before and was just repeating them, then simply nodded until he could find his tongue again to reply. Blaine spoke up first though, quiet as he tipped his head against Kurt’s shoulder.

“Mama always wanted to be a mama, not a singer. She always wanted more. Lots of babies. But she had troubles, after Cooper. And then after me, she couldn’t have more at all. She wanted to adopt, but then, then I had my accident. She gave up.” Blaine tipped his head in a little and kissed Kurt’s shoulder, then smiled up at him.

“Well, I guess I’m glad she’s not a famous singer. Then she might not have had you and then I wouldn’t have my soulmate.” Kurt leaned down to kiss Blaine on the corner of his mouth. “Who is pretty darn good at playing the piano, I might add. Did you know that song before you played it?”

“I heard it before, but I never played it,” said Blaine. “I didn’t have to, though. My fingers just know.”

Kurt reached for Blaine’s hand, twining their fingers together.

“Do you know what tells your fingers how to do what they do?” asked Kurt, stroking his thumb over Blaine’s.

Blaine looked up at him and shook his head once.

“Your brain does, silly,” said Kurt. Blaine raised both eyebrows like he didn’t believe him one bit. “It’s true. It’s scientifically proven. Your brain tells your body how to do everything. And you can do a lot of amazing stuff with your body. I would know.”

“My brain understands,” said Blaine, wrapping both arms around Kurt and hugging him close before mumbling, “’M excited to give you your present.”

“Oh yeah? Is it the sort of present that has to wait until all your family is gone?” asked Kurt suggestively.

“No…” Blaine blushed a little. “I can give that too. But I, I made you something. Well, there was help. From Mama. But it was my idea!”

“Well in that case I can’t wait to see what you got me for Christmas. I’ve got a gift for you too, but I’m sorry to say it doesn’t sound nearly as special as whatever you’ve got for me,” said Kurt, feeling a little ashamed that he didn’t put more thought into his gift for Blaine when Blaine had clearly done something special for him.

“No,” said Blaine softly. “Don’t think that. It will always be special, ‘cause it’s from you.”

Kurt rolled his eyes playfully and shook his head. “You are so sweet it’s almost cheesy sometimes. But that’s why I love you. You’re my prince charming.”

“Prince charming,” repeated Blaine softly, although what he meant by it, if anything at all, Kurt didn’t know.

………………………………

Later that evening, after most of Blaine’s family had either headed home or settled into a guest room for the night, Blaine took Kurt’s hand and led him upstairs. Blaine was getting antsy waiting to give his gift to Kurt, and when they finally got the chance, they were alone in Blaine’s room.

“Okay. Okay. You gotta sit on the bed. Just sit and wait. I practiced this part.” Blaine instructed, clumsily steering Kurt toward the bed. Kurt chuckled as the backs of his legs hit the mattress and he fell back on it, bouncing slightly.

“Alright, honey. I’m sitting,” laughed Kurt, watching as Blaine shuffled over to his desk, pulling open a drawer and rummaging around in it.

Kurt caught sight of the red box Blaine was holding as he tried to sneakily hide it behind his back. He didn’t say anything and kept on his curious expression as Blaine hurried back over to him, his golden eyes sparkling with anticipation. Standing above him, Blaine brought the red box around in front of him and thrust it toward Kurt.

Raising an eyebrow, Kurt took the box slowly. His heart gave a powerful thud in his chest as he held it in both hands. The box was the perfect size and shape to hold only one thing. But it couldn’t be an engagement ring…Blaine had said he made whatever it was and marriage had never even been mentioned in a serious conversation.

“Open it!” urged Blaine.

Kurt nodded once then opened the box slowly. He blinked and it took him a moment to realize what it was.

“Oh my god…Blaine…” His face instantly broke out into a grin as he lifted it out of the box. It was a ring, made out of what appeared to be gum wrappers, with a shiny little foil bowtie on it.

“It’s a promise ring,” said Blaine. “I got the idea from, it was from a movie.”

“It’s adorable, Blaine. I love it so much. But…what are you promising?” asked Kurt, looking up at him curiously.

Blaine pulled his bottom lip between his teeth for a moment then looked down at the ring in Kurt’s hand.

“I promise to always love you,” he said, almost like it was obvious. “To be the very best I can be for you, to always tell you how good and perfect and pretty you are. At least to me. And…and I’ll keep trying, so that maybe, one day maybe you won’t have to take care of me so much. I’ll be able to do stuff myself so we can just be boyfriends. ‘Cause I know it’s hard, sometimes, to take care of me.”

“Honey…” Kurt smiled and paused, setting down the box and slipping the ring onto his left ring finger. He started for a moment, then stood up and draped his arms around Blaine’s shoulders. “I love you more than anything, and I don’t mind taking care of you one bit. Sometimes it’s my favorite part of the day. And the ring is perfect.”

Blaine’s cheeks grew a little pink with a blush as he ducked his head. Kurt gently kissed the tip of his nose and tugged him a little closer.

“You want my present now?” asked Kurt.

Blaine nodded quickly, and Kurt reluctantly stepped away from him to go over to his bag. He unzipped it and pulled out a perfectly wrapped package.

“It’s not handmade or anything, but I think it might be something you’ll like.” Kurt walked over and sat on the bed. Blaine plopped down beside him and took the present.

He unwrapped it slowly and carefully, a stack of plastic wrapped comic books of various superhero varieties, some of which looked pretty old. He gasped softly, running his hand over the plastic covers before lifting one off the stack and looking at it.

“I know how tedious it can be reading those workbooks. And you said how you liked to read your dad’s old comics, so your brother helped me pick these out. They’re kind of vintage,” said Kurt with a little shrug.

Blaine sorted through them all, taking his time to inspect each one. There were about fifteen in total. When he reached the end of the stack he finally looked up at Kurt with a wide smile.

“I love them Kurt thank you so much!” He practically tackled Kurt with a hug and showered him with kisses all over his face. Kurt laughed and wrapped his arms around Blaine, holding him close.

“I’m glad you like them,” said Kurt, who found himself lying on his back with Blaine above him, smiling down happily.

“Best first Christmas with you ever,” said Blaine, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to Kurt’s lips. “First of many, many more.”

There weren’t words to describe how happy that thought made both of them.

……………………………….

After a night full of hushed blow jobs under the covers and copious amounts of cuddling followed by sleeping in entirely too long, Kurt finally had to extract himself from Blaine’s embrace and head home. He was still feeling a little exhausted from Blaine’s family, and found himself anxious to get home to the quiet of his dad and Carole. He loved them so much, he really did, but he knew nothing there would make him feel as at home as he had lying in Blaine’s bed with his boyfriend in his arms.

Still, he had made a promise and he was looking forward to fulfilling it as he drove home in the late morning. When he finally arrived, he left his bag inside the entry and immediately headed to the kitchen where he could already smell their Christmas Day turkey cooking in the oven. Carole was in the kitchen as well, and he slid over to her and gave her a little side hug, kissing her cheek.

“Merry Christmas,” he said with a cheerful smile. Carole returned the smile, and it mostly reached her eyes.

“Merry Christmas, sweetie. Your dad’s waiting for you in the living room,” said Carole.

“But I’m supposed to help you,” said Kurt, working the buttons of his jacket undone.

“Go talk to your dad first, then you can help me,” she said sternly, pointing toward the other room.

Kurt slipped off his jacket and hung it in the closet before going to the living room to find his dad in his recliner watching something on TV.

“Hey dad,” said Kurt, plopping down on the couch. Burt grabbed the remote and turned off the TV, then focused on his son.

“How was Blaine’s family?” asked Burt, sounding genuinely interested.

“They were fun. Eccentric in some ways. Very talented. His parents and his uncle were apparently in a Fleetwood Mac cover band a million years ago so they reprised that for one song. Blaine’s mom is an amazing singer. Then Blaine and I exchanged gifts. He made me this.” Kurt held out his hand with the gum wrapper ring on it and looked at it affectionately. “Well, his mom made it. He came up with the idea and chewed all the gum to get the wrappers.”

Burt laughed. “That’s cool. You should probably take it off before you start to cook though.

“Yeah, I know.” Kurt carefully slipped the little paper creation off his finger and examined it.

“Look, buddy, I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to say I’m sorry. I was a real jerk about this holiday thing. It’s hard for me to accept that you’re all grown up sometimes. I managed to keep you around here for another year but the fact is that you’re an adult now and you’ve got to have a life of your own. If you really choose to have that life be with Blaine, well then who am I to interfere with that?” Burt looked up at Kurt with regret. “I still don’t like all this stuff you’ve got to do, but if he makes you happy then I’m thankful for that.”

Kurt almost had to sniffle to hold back the urge to cry at his dad’s words, and he offered him a relieved smile. “It means a lot to hear you say that, dad. Blaine makes me so happy. And yeah, I know it’s going to be hard taking care of him and all that, but it’s worth it. It’s not always easy loving Blaine, but the way he makes me feel is incredible. No one else will ever make me feel like that. I know it in my heart.”

“That’s all a parent ever wants for their child, is for them to know that feeling. I’m glad you found it,” said Burt sincerely. “Now get out in that kitchen and whip us up a great Christmas dinner before we get too sentimental here.”

Kurt laughed and stood, stepping over to give his dad a tight hug.

“Thank you so much,” Kurt said, kissing the top of his dad’s head affectionately. Then he went to the kitchen to help Carole cook. Even though it was just for the three of them, it was going to be a feast. The perfect way to end what Kurt knew in his heart was the best Christmas ever.


	12. Everyone Reflects

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone takes some time to think about what's to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to apologize, I think, for this chapter. There might be two lines of dialogue at the most. It's mostly just everyone's thoughts about what's to come before the story wraps up.

Kurt pulled into a full parking lot, finding what seemed to be the very last spot. He took a deep breath and got out, slinging his messenger bag strap over his shoulder. It was his first time actually attended a real college class at the local community college. He had spent the last few months taking one single class online, an introduction to psychology class. It had been easy enough, and he managed to keep up the work while he was busy with Blaine, and he had done it as a prerequisite to this one class.

There was one thing that an education at NYADA couldn’t teach him, and that was more about Blaine’s condition. Researching online and going through the years of paperwork and information that Blaine’s parents had collected for him had given him a decent understanding of Blaine’s various emotional and psychological problems. But these introductory college classes helped him to understand better the basics of it all, and to learn more about mental illnesses as a whole.

Kurt would be the first person to insist that Blaine wasn’t mentally ill, because the cause of all his problems wasn’t a disorder caused by traumatic events or something emotional or even genetics, it was the cause of an injury as a result of an accident. He wanted to better understand better the functions of the brain and how brain chemistry affects the personality and moods, so that he could understand how those things may have been altered as a result of Blaine’s injuries. The damage to his brain was apparent, but most of the rest of guess work.

Before he met Blaine, he never really considered how complex the human brain actually is. It was fascinating to him. Of course, he would never give up his dreams of being on Broadway to obtain a degree in psychology, but a few classes at community college while he didn’t have much else going on in his life seemed just fine.

As he walked to his first class, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out to find a message from Santana.

_Break a leg, college dork. Taking Blaine to see a movie then to the park._

Kurt smiled and rolled his eyes. He was so thankful for Blaine’s relationship with Santana. Rachel was a wonderful companion for his boyfriend as long as someone was there with them, but Santana he could fully trust to care of him on her own. Just as he reached the classroom of his first class, he texted her back.

_Take care of my boy Satan._

Then turning off the device, he slipped it into his pocket and took a seat at the first chair he found, anxiously waiting for the class to start.

……………………………

Santana had been a little lonely since she broke things off with Brittany. For the first time since freshman year of high school she wasn’t in a romantic relationship of any kind. She had been in casual, sexual relationships since she started high school, and of course the emotional connection she shared with Brittany was the most special relationship of all. Now, she didn’t have that.

What she did have was a job as a bikini barista and a deep connection with a brain damaged, rainbow flag flying little hobbit named Blaine. Her life was kind of in this rut right then. She had broken up with Brittany so that she didn’t have to stay like that, but it was a little taxing knowing the future was coming and that she just had to wait for it. The problem of Blaine being a whole year younger than the rest of them held them all back. Blaine’s parents wouldn’t even consider letting him leave home before he turned eighteen. 

So with New York on the horizon, Santana just decided to kick back and enjoy the slow life as much as she could. Unfortunately, not spending time with Brittany meant that she was limited to the company of only three other people. Rachel Berry was a fine enough friend, but she usually only tolerated her company when it was at the request of Blaine. The thought of actually living with that girl made Santana kind of nauseous, but she had already made the commitment for the sake of Blaine.

Kurt was fine. She had always felt like there was something that made them friends without really admitting that they were. Maybe it was the fact that he was the first out and proud gay that she had ever known, she didn’t know. Maybe it was the fact that deep down they both used sass to deflect things they weren’t particularly enthusiastic in talking about. Either way, it was Kurt that had brought Blaine into her life anyway, so she guessed she would have to put up with him for that reason.

She was actually excited to live with Blaine, though. When he was happy, it was so infectious that she couldn’t resist feeling happy the same way. That’s why she had taken to calling him her little nugget of sunshine, or just nugget for short. He always smiled at his nickname, and it was fucking adorable. 

Blaine had bad days, everyone did. But Blaine’s bad days were really bad, at least according to Kurt. That would be the biggest challenge for all of them, but she was ready for it. 

The seemingly mile high stack of literature about Blaine’s condition had been passed from Blaine’s mom to Kurt to her, and she had been plowing through it with a surprising interest. The files contained everything documented on Blaine since his accident had happened. There were medical charts and documents and forms. She had been horrified to learn some of the things that had happened to him.

She found that the doctors had considered removing part of his skull to alleviate pressure of the brain swelling, before they finally achieved results to lower the swelling of his brain with medication. There seemed to be so many factors of his accident that led to the brain damage that permanently affected him that no one seemed to really know which one had caused the most damage. 

She read about all his many visits with psychiatrists and counselors, all of them trying to find ways to help him heal and gain back the person he was. After a while, she couldn’t read that anymore. It disgusted her to think of how many people told Blaine, when he was just a little kid that his life wouldn’t be good enough unless he got back to “the person he was before”. He was eight years old when the accident happened. He hadn’t lived enough life to even be worth saying he was a person before the accident.

Blaine had lived more years after the accident now than he had before, and Santana didn’t give a flying fuck what kind of grade skipping genius piano prodigy Blaine was before it all happened. If Blaine had graduated college by the time he was fourteen, he never would have been friends with her. In her opinion, all that focusing on what Blaine had lost probably only hurt his recovery instead of helped it.

Eventually, after enough reading, she felt as though she could be Blaine’s brain doctor as easily as any old dude who graduated medical school. She supposed that was the point. When she lived with him, she would have to be able to make judgments about his condition. She would have to be able to tell what the difference between an average everyday headache was and when it was time to take him to the hospital, and various other things like that. It kind of scared her, but at the same time she was willing to take the challenge.

Besides, by taking care of Blaine, she was practically getting to live in New York rent free.

………………………………..

With Kurt at his college classes, it gave Santana time to hone her caretaker skills, which – she was the first to admit – were a little rusty. Okay, so she’d never had to take care of anyone but herself before, but she could do this. She’d been responsible for Blaine in a casual way before, she’d bathed him and clothed him and fed him under the supervision of his parents. But when she took him during the days, it was like she was an adult-sitter.

She picked Blaine up at his house in the mornings. Seldom did they ever stay there, as Santana refused to stay too long in Blaine’s room for fear of her psychic Mexican third eye absorbing images of Kurt and Blaine fucking on every surface of the place. There _would_ be ground rules for when they live together. 

Some days they went to her house, and others they went and did things. When Blaine was feeling good and normal, they would go see a movie or something. Other days they would lay on the couch in her parent’s basement and she would just hold him. Santana read somewhere that when people were feeling insecure about themselves or sad in anyway, the best cure was simple platonic cuddling with other human beings. She found that there was some truth in that, and also that when they cuddled Blaine seemed to grow four extra limbs so that he could trap her in.

Blaine liked to take walks as well, so Santana would take him to the mall and let him get his exercise following her around and carrying all her shopping bags. She found that when she filled his arms with bags of clothes, she was less likely to lose sight of him because she didn’t want to lose her clothes. Blaine didn’t seem to mind, which she guessed was part of the reason Kurt loved him so much. 

There was the occasional day when she pulled into the Anderson’s drive way and Blaine wasn’t bouncing at the door waiting for her to take him off for a day of “Blaintana bonding” as he had taken to calling it. Those days she would ring the doorbell and Blaine’s mother would open it and instantly Santana would hear the sounds of piano music filled her ears. 

Those days they stayed at Blaine’s house, and sometimes Blaine would spend the whole time playing the piano. Santana would stay and listen all day. He was beautiful when he played, his head down and his eyes closed, long dark lashes fanned out against his cheek as he swayed with the rhythm of the music. It would change as the day went on. Soft and slow melodies would be come fast, staccato notes that stumbled together, then Blaine’s fingers would slam on the keys aggressively before going back to notes so soft that they were barely there.

Music had never touched her in the way it did when Blaine was playing. 

Santana knew as well as anyone that Blaine could listen to a song and instantly be able to play it on the piano. He couldn’t remember what he had for breakfast, but he could do that. It was a beautiful gift that she was only a little envious of. But when Blaine played out his emotions, it was never a song anyone recognized. It was just want came to him. 

She learned a lot more about him in those days than all those stacks of paper could ever tell her. She learned the way he worked, the way his thoughts jumbled together to the point where he couldn’t think, how being unable to think made him angry, and then how when the emotions passed all he wanted to do was sleep. She learned about his anger, how he kept it bottled up inside of him with his only outlets being music and sex. She leaned about the love in his heart, how deep and pure it ran for his family, for Kurt, for her. She discovered how he managed to cope with the memories of how good life was for him before he was plagued with the pain of an injured brain, but at the same time she found that he was incredibly thankful for the life he had, that he may not have had if he had stayed normal.

But above all those things, Santana learned how very, very much she loved him.

………………….................

“Speed it up a little bit, and maybe play one key higher.” Rachel leaned over Blaine’s piano when he gave her a confused look, and she shifted his hands just slightly to the right, then gave his arm an affectionate pat. She counted off once more and he began to play, still too slow. She motioned for him to speed it up, and he finally seemed to get the hint.

Having Blaine around was great for practicing her NYADA re-audition song. One of the things she was looking forward the most about living with Blaine was having a built in accompanist so that she could practice all the time. It was going to be amazing, living in New York with her best friends.

Deferring her dreams for a year had been one of the hardest decisions she’d ever had to make, but at the time it seemed like the right thing to do. After losing Finn, she wasn’t particularly sure about anything. Her whole life had been built on a plan, and all her dreams were supposed to come true, which included marrying Finn by the time she was twenty-five and possibly having a child by the time she turned thirty. 

All those dreams seemed worthless after Finn died, though. For a long time even just getting out of bed seemed worthless. She knew she wasn’t the only one who had that problem. It didn’t really help her that both Kurt and Blaine had been plagued with the inability to pull themselves out of bed for anything, just when she needed their emotional support the most. She forgave them both eventually, when they both came around and apologized for not being there for her.

As she sang her song, she watched Blaine playing. It was effortless for him, just like how singing was effortless for her. It made them perfect for each other, in a musical sense. There was no sense in feeling anything more than friendship toward him anyway, since he was so clearly devoted to being Kurt’s soulmate. But that didn’t mean part of her didn’t enjoy the attention he did give her…

Rachel felt a little guilty sometimes, like she was betraying her friendship with both Kurt and Blaine and the memory of her relationship with Finn. But Blaine’s attention felt so good…he was so nice to her and they had so much in common with their interests and some days when Blaine got tired to helping her practice they would just cuddle on the couch and watch TV until Blaine fell asleep with his head tucked into the spot where her shoulder and neck met.

She was a young, single, heterosexual woman with absolutely no interest in pursuing an active relationship. Was it really such a bad thing that sometimes the way Blaine felt next to her, his hot breath on the sensitive skin of her neck as he slept made her feel things? He was an exceptionally handsome guy and she could hardly be blamed for the way her mind wandered sometimes. 

Especially some of those days when he would spread out on the couch and stretch out and his t-shirt would ride up and…

Okay. Okay, so Rachel Berry had a problem. 

It wasn’t that she was in love with him. She loved him, because he was one of her very best friends and everything they did together was really fun and she was slowly starting to pick things up in the way of taking care of him. She certainly didn’t feel for him the love that Kurt did, she didn’t want to look at him with heart eyes and even the thought that her brain might suggest anything vaguely beyond platonic contact made her cringe a little.

How could she? It would violate everything. Her friendship, her respect for Blaine’s sexuality, the thing boundaries that allowed them to be so physically close. It was terrible to even consider it, but she just found Blaine so _attractive_. His hair was gorgeous and his eyes sparkled beautifully and his shoulders were so broad and his waist so narrow and he just smelled so good. Some days when she went to his house to rehearse her song, she would hope that he would get tired just so that they could cuddle together. 

So what if it wasn’t the most healthy thing, but it was _nice_. The physical contact was nice. He gave her something that she always felt like she craved, even when Finn was still alive. No matter what she did, he never judged her negatively and he never turned down an opportunity to hug or cuddle. She was sure that he had never intended for her to develop these kind of feelings for him, but it happened and there was nothing she could do but try very, very hard to ignore them. 

And that worked, most of the time, and she found herself not thinking of Blaine that way much anymore, except one day that left her blushing so hard she couldn’t face him for several days after. She went to his house in the morning intending to practice with him before he went off with Santana for the afternoon. When she got there he was still in bed, so his mom told her to go right upstairs to check on him. She skipped up the stairs and burst into his room, expecting to find him curled up in bed. Instead, the blankets were kicked off the bed and Blaine very obviously had a hand wrapped around his…

Rachel didn’t see anything. She yelled it loudly as she slapped her hand over her eyes and backed out of the room quickly. She apologized repeatedly before just leaving, too embarrassed by the way her mind just kept replaying it over and over to stay. 

Eventually, she managed to get over the horror of it, when it appeared as though Blaine wasn’t bothered by the incident in the slightest. And after a couple months, the guilt of it all was enough to make most of her inappropriate thoughts disappear. Although, she was never opposed to a little cuddling whenever Blaine insisted.

………………………………..

Vivienne Anderson has spent the last twenty-seven years of her life caring for at least one child, and now suddenly she was faced with the reality that her baby boy was going to be leaving home in a few months. And he was most likely never coming back. At least, not permanently.

It wouldn’t be so bad, she reasoned, if it weren’t for Blaine’s condition. There was a difference between caring for a regular, normal, relatively well adjusted child and caring for a special needs child. When Cooper had been ready to leave home at last, she had welcomed the change, for him more than for her. She missed him every day, but the satisfaction of knowing that he was out there succeeding in his own life made her feel like she had done her job as a mother well enough.

But Blaine was different. Every moment of the last ten years had been spent caring for him. From the moment he woke up in the hospital her life turned into hospital visits and doctors visits and psychiatrist visits and family counseling. Every day was spent planning specialty meals or repairing things broken in the last violent outburst or supervising baths or worrying herself sick over whether or not Blaine would come out of the next episode or not. There were the years the doctors tried to medicate him to control his moods, and then dealing with the horror of Blaine’s education. 

Caring for Blaine had never really been a chore, though. With no other children to focus her attention on with Cooper being full grown, her role as stay at home mom shifted into full time caretaker, and she grew used to it. She was almost as dependent on him as he was of her, and she didn’t mind it.

For so many years, Blaine had been her best and only friend besides her husband. She knew it sounded a little pathetic, being so reliant on a child with brain damage, but as he grew up she watched how he slowly began to recover and she didn’t want to miss a moment of it. She gave up on him ever having a full recovery by the time he was fourteen. There was hope still, of him gradually getting better throughout his life, but the damage had been done. 

Blaine was her one perfect thing. Yes, she had Cooper too, she would tell her self over and over. But when she looked at the miracle that was Blaine’s life, she knew he was the most special thing she could have ever hope to create. From that tiny little one pound baby born two months early to a brain damaged eight year old barely able to walk and talk to an eighteen year old man with a real, stable relationship and a life ahead of him, Blaine continued to amaze her at every turn.

When he turned sixteen and they sent him to McKinley as a last resort, she had no idea that anything good would come of it. At the time she had resigned herself to spending the rest of her life until her dying day taking care of her sweet boy, and then coming back as a ghost or something to finish the job until his time came as well. And then suddenly Blaine came home, that big goofy grin on his face, asking if his friend could stay for dinner.

She had been so suspicious of Kurt at first, so worried that Blaine would grow attached to a passing friendship. But then they fell in love, in a sweet but complicated way, and there was nothing she could do about it. Her little boy had given his heart away, and that was that. Kurt turned out to be kind of perfect for Blaine. He had the right temperament and the patience to care for him, and even when he had bad days, as everyone did, he didn’t let it hurt Blaine.

They were good for each other. She had seen the way Kurt was so guarded and internal when she first met him. But Blaine had helped him to open up, mostly out of necessity. Even though Kurt still kept up that front to almost everyone else, he was an open book with Blaine. It had been Kurt’s ability to shift and change to accommodate Blaine so easily that showed her how perfect they were for each other.

And then that boy died. How sad, Viv had thought as she clung to a crying, lonely Blaine for days on end, trying to ease his confusion about why his supposed soulmate wouldn’t talk to him. That had been the hardest time in many years for all of them, but it too had eventually passed. Seeing Blaine recover from that had really told her all she needed to know.

Blaine was ready. He was ready for the next step, to go further with his life, to grow beyond the confines of the walls of his childhood bedroom. New York would be such an adjustment, she knew it could take him years to get used to life there, but it would be so good. With Kurt and Rachel and Santana there to care for him, he would never be alone or without a guide. 

Viv had confidence that her baby would be okay out there in the big bad world, because she knew she had done her job as a mother and given him as much of herself as she could to prepare him. But that didn’t stop her heart from aching a little at the thought. When Kurt came into Blaine’s life, she knew someday she would have to let him go. She just didn’t think it would be so soon.

……………………………….

Blaine’s most favorite thing in the whole wide world was falling asleep in Kurt’s arms, curled up into Kurt’s side with his head on Kurt’s chest and one leg settled between both of Kurt’s. He could sleep like that for hours, maybe even days if he never had to eat or go to the bathroom. 

But it wasn’t always his favorite thing in the whole wide world. Before he even met Kurt, there were other things that held that title. When he was nine, it was an oversized stuffed monkey Cooper had got for him. He would carry it everywhere and hug it whenever he got insecure. Then after that when he was eleven his favorite thing ever was a CD of piano music he used to play for hours. It was so soothing to listen to it when he couldn’t play for himself.

When he was thirteen, his favorite thing was the baby grand piano his parents got for him. Before that he had been playing on an old upright that needed to be tuned every couple days, but when they got him that shiny black piano that was brand new and all his, he was in love. It was his favorite thing in the whole word for a lot of years until Kurt came along, and then it became his second favorite thing. 

Favorite things changed a lot, but now that he had Kurt, Blaine was convinced his favorite thing would stay the same for the rest of his life. Especially now that he was going to move in with Kurt and share a space with him forever. It was only made better by the fact that Rachel and Santana were going to be there too. 

Since Kurt had started going to college during the days, Blaine had been spending more and more time with Rachel and Santana. They were his best friends beside Kurt and the more time they spent together the more he grew to need them in his life. Knowing that he was going to get to spend all his days with the people he loved the most made him so happy just thinking about it.

Except…it wasn’t _all_ the people he loved most. He was moving away from Mama and Daddy, which when he thought about it, gave him mixed feelings. He was just so happy to be going with Kurt that sometimes it overpowered the sadness of leaving his parents. All his life they had been taking care of him and loving him and doing everything to make him happy. They wanted nothing more than to see him smile, which was why they were letting him go, but he knew they were sad too. Especially Mama. 

Sometimes he would talk to her about what kind of little decorations Kurt bought for their New York apartment when they were shopping that day or how excited he was to have all his friends around all the time in New York or how cool it was going to be to see them all performing on real stages when they got famous on Broadway. He started to notice how when he talked about those things, she would get a far away look in her eyes like she was sad to hear about them.

He had been pretty dependent on her for most of his life, so he kind of understood what she was feeling. There was a bit of uncertainty in having people taking care of him that weren’t her when she wasn’t around. Kurt he trusted completely to help him on his own, since Kurt had been through just about everything that could possibly go wrong with him. But Rachel and Santana were still learning, and Blaine wasn’t sure if they’d have enough experience by the time they moved in together.

For all of his worries, he guessed Mama was just afraid that without her around something bad might happen to him. He was really going to miss her, and Daddy. They gave him so much love. They even gave him life! But he couldn’t even stand to think of not going with Kurt. It hurt worse to imagine life without Kurt.

…………………………….

Blaine may have had to amend what his favorite thing in the whole wide world was around the end of May. Kurt was almost done with his college course and Santana and Rachel came over for dinner and a movie. Mama cooked for them, with help from Kurt, and Daddy came home early enough to help out too. Then, to make things even better, just as dinner was about to be served, Cooper walked in through the front door, making an unannounced visit. 

Everyone sat down around the table and Blaine took a moment before he began to eat to look at everyone’s faces, starting with Cooper on his right and ending with Kurt on his left. These were the faces of the people he loved more than anything else ever. More than piano music, more than stuffed monkeys, more than warm sunshine on his face in a summer evening, more than being completely pain free and having clear thoughts. His friends and his family brought him so much joy just having them around.

Later that night, everyone piled into the living room. He was smooshed in the middle of the couch between Kurt and Santana, who were smooshed in by Cooper and Rachel on either side. Daddy sat in his recliner with Mama perched on his lap, and they all watched a movie. What it was called or about, Blaine couldn’t tell. He was too blissed out just being surrounded by all those people.

Never before had he thought that he could have this. With the way he was, people never before gave him the time of day to even try to be his friends. Now he had his parents and his brother and his friends and his boyfriend. And they all loved him so much, he thought his heart my burst with all the love in the room. 

Being surrounded by everyone who was important to him, that was his most favorite thing in the whole world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	13. Blaine Makes The Move

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone gets ready for Blaine to make the big move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you read, I have a few very important things I would like to say. First of all, thank you all so much for following this story as well as Headway. This writing experience has changed my life, given me so many new friends, and even gave me a research focus for my senior capstone paper in college. I'll always keep this verse close to my heart.
> 
> The second thing is that this final chapter is dedicated to a dear, dear friend of mine who passed away last Saturday. James was an amazing guy who I actually met because of Headway. He was probably my biggest fan, and he knew the fic better than I did, he'd read it so many times. He was waiting for me to finish this fic before he really got into it, because he wanted to read the whole thing in one go, but I wasn't able to finish it in time. Even though you're not around to read it, buddy, this one's for you.

At the last minute, Jack and Viv invented a new condition for letting Blaine move to New York. They had been watching carefully all along the way to make sure that Kurt, Santana, and Rachel had enough experience in caring for him so that they could handle any situation that came along. One day when they were all together, Viv announced that she had signed them up for a six week private home caregiver course, specially tailored to their situation.

The course consisted of three hours a day, two days a week when a woman named Molly came to the Anderson house to give them private instruction in dealing with any kind of emergency medical situation that could possibly happen. She taught them about CPR and safety in the kitchen and the importance of keeping prescription medication in safe areas. They even had two weeks dedicated just for mental health exercises for the three of them, so that they could make sure they stayed healthy while caring for Blaine.

Blaine often sat in on their lessons, finding it particularly fascinating, even if he didn’t understand a lot of it. When it came to the CPR lessons, they even let him get in on it, breathing into the mouths of the dummies and pumping their chests. He was so proud of himself that he saved the “person’s” life.

When the very last lesson came around, Molly sat the four of them all down and looked at them all. She told them that the most important thing, even for Blaine, was to have patience with each other. As caretakers, it was their jobs to put Blaine’s needs ahead of theirs, and sometimes it would be difficult, especially when something as simple as a doctor’s appointment could interfere with everything else going on in their lives. It was Blaine’s job to focus on living his life, and their job to make sure he didn’t fall and hurt himself worse along the way.

Once they had all successfully passed the course, there was nothing Blaine’s parents could do to hold him back. By the time July came around, Kurt was officially Blaine’s legal guardian, and they were getting ready to move. Even though Blaine was an adult, the effects on Blaine’s cognitive function kept him settled just over the line that declared him disabled enough to need a guardian to care for him and make choices for him.

Kurt didn’t mind. There was a lot of responsibility that came with the job, but he loved Blaine enough that he didn’t even think twice about it much anymore. Caring for Blaine was just part of loving him, which he had fully accepted now. No one understood Blaine like he did, even though Santana and Rachel tried.

All that was left before the big move to the city, of course, was finding a place to live.

……………………………..

It had never been part of the original plan, but when Blaine begged Kurt to let him come with, who was he to deny those puppy eyes? It would officially be Blaine’s first visit to the city, and Kurt figured it would be a good thing for him to see the city before the move. It was sort of like Blaine’s last chance to back out.

The flight there was long, or so it seemed. Blaine was a nervous mess in his middle seat wedged between Kurt and Santana. Jack was across the aisle, having accompanied them as a condition to him paying for the tickets and the hotel rooms. They figured as long as they were there without a place to live, it would be safe to have him along anyway. It wasn’t that Jack was a scary guy, he was just bigger and stronger and older than any of them, so it was a comfort.

Taking off and landing were the worst for poor Blaine, but once he realized those were the worst parts of flying, he quickly got over any fears he had. He could do flying, he told Kurt, if it was only that bad.

They gathered their luggage off the carousel and headed out to catch a cab. As soon as they stepped out into the stale city air, Blaine froze. His eyes were wide and his hand clamped tight in Kurt’s as his head tipped back, looking straight up at the buildings that seemed to reach all the way to the clouds.

“Kurt…” Blaine muttered as a little whine. Kurt hushed him softly and wrapped an arm around his waist. Blaine whimpered and shuffled closer to his boyfriend. “Kurt, it so big…

“I know, honey. I know.”

They caught a cab that took them into the city to their hotel, and Blaine couldn’t seem to stop looking up. He was entranced by the lights and the buildings they drove by, his nose plastered to the window of the cab and his hand against the glass. Kurt couldn’t tell if Blaine was eager, nervous, scared, curious, or all of the above. As much as Kurt wanted to look around, he was too captivated by the sight of Blaine.

When they arrived at the hotel, they had two rooms. Girls in one, boys in the other. Kurt thought it was a little awkward to be sharing a bed with his boyfriend while his boyfriend’s dad was in the room, but in the end he didn’t really care because they were in New York, the city that never sleeps.

After some rest and a change of clothes, Kurt wanted to get right on the apartment search. It took almost two days solid and a whole lot of money in cab fares to find right place, but Kurt didn’t want to rest until they found it. The loft was perfect. It was the biggest place they could get for the price. When they first walked into it, it was huge and wide open and full of potential. Kurt’s designer instincts instantly went wild.

Blaine didn’t like it, not at first. But Kurt promised him once there was a kitchen and some bedroom areas and all the furniture was put in that he would love it.

“Over here we can have the kitchen, since there’s plumbing and stuff. We’ll have the sink and the right here, and the refrigerator over there. We’ll put a nice big table right here in the middle for us all to eat at. Then over here can be like the living room. We’ll get some couches and a TV so you can watch movies.”

“And Gordon Ramsay,” said Blaine, adding in his new favorite TV personality.

Kurt laughed, “Yes of course Gordon Ramsay. And then over here we’ll have bedrooms. Rachel and Santana can have this side and you and I can take this one. We’ll figure out something. Maybe some big dark curtains, that way you can block out all the light when you need darkness. How does that sound?”

Blaine gave a little shrug, not really able to visualize it all. But when Rachel fell in love with the place, and Santana admitted that she liked the space, Blaine felt a little pressured to agree. They would make it nice for him, he knew, and soon it would be home.

That day, they called the building manager and signed a lease for the loft.

While Kurt, Jack, and the girls all went through the paperwork and everything, Blaine explored what would soon be his new home. The walls were kind of old and dusty looking, with the exposed brick. It was kind of cool, Blaine decided. He walked around the entire place, measuring with his steps how big it was. Each time he came upon the huge windows, he paused to take in the view. One side of the loft had a fire escape, and the window looked down into an alley. Blaine pressed his face to the window to try to look down better, but then decided maybe looking down wasn’t so great. They were pretty high up.

The other side of the loft face the street, and that side Blaine liked the most. There were people down there, lots of them. And cars and shops and other apartment buildings. Everything kind of looked old and dusty, just like the loft. Maybe all of New York was old and dusty. Blaine watched the people for a little while before going over to where Kurt said the kitchen would be.

There wasn’t much there now, just some funny tubes sticking out of the wall. He didn’t know what those were for, so he didn’t touch them at all. Next was the bathroom, which he was kind of glad for because now that he thought about it he really sort of needed to pee. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw everyone was all bent over some papers, so he decided just to go in

The bathroom had a rolling door, like the entrance of the loft. It was kind of a dusty old room, with a really old industrial looking toilet and a rusty shower fixture in the corner. There was space for a bathtub, which he sort of required. He hoped Kurt would remember to get him one. After thoroughly inspecting the dingy old room, Blaine wrinkled his nose but figured a toilet was a toilet.

When he was all finished, he went to the dirty old sink and turned on the faucet. It sputtered and some orange looking water came out. Blaine’s eyes widened and he gave a little whimper before the water finally came out normal and clear. There was no soap, but Blaine rinsed his hands anyway and wiped them on his pants. He decided that was enough of an inspection for the bathroom, so he left there.

By the time he came out, Kurt was handing papers to a short, squat, balding man and shaking the guy’s hand. The guy handed Kurt some keys, and that was that. Just a few hours after first seeing it, the place was theirs. Kurt spotted him and came over, giving him a quick hug before turning to look around at the loft.

“Welcome home,” said Kurt, giving Blaine’s shoulders a squeeze.

Blaine leaned into Kurt, then looked up at him and said, “It needs a bath tub.”

Kurt smiled. “It needs a lot of things, honey. But we’ve got a month. The next time you see it, it will be home.”

Blaine nodded. He wasn’t sure if he believed Kurt, but he suddenly found himself a little distracted by the way he was pressed into the side of Kurt’s body. His cheeks burned with a blush and he shuffled away a bit. Kurt was too busy staring at their loft with dreamy eyes to notice.

……………………………….

They decided to inspect the neighborhood after that. Blaine couldn’t help looking up at all the buildings they passed, counting how high the windows were stacked on each one. Their building had four floors, and their loft was at the very top. There was one building just down the street with eight floors. Kurt said that was nothing compared to most of the buildings in New York, but it was still a lot for Blaine.

There were shops and restaurants at the bases of a few of the buildings. Blaine saw an antique store and a Chinese restaurant – which made his tummy rumble hungrily – and a flower shop. At the end of the street was a grocery store in its own separate building. It was an organic market, which Kurt was super happy about having so close to home.

Eventually they stopped and got some sandwiches from a deli on the next street over. Blaine ordered a BLT because when Kurt started to try to explain what was on some of the sandwiches, he quickly became overwhelmed. But still, it was the best BLT that Blaine had ever tasted. Kurt said it was something about the water that made it taste better.

Blaine’s eyes widened as he thought of the nasty orange water from the bathroom sink at the loft, and he was really, really glad he was done eating already.

After the sandwiches, Kurt took him to a park that was on the next block. It was a small park, just a little patch of green with a walkway and a pond and a little playground for the kids in the neighborhood. Blaine loved going on the swings, so Kurt let him do that for a while. Afterwards, Blaine sat on the bench between Kurt and his Daddy, smiling happily as Kurt asked him how he liked the neighborhood.

“It’s nice,” said Blaine, rocking in his seat a little feeling fidgety from energy. His shoulders bumped between Kurt’s and Daddy’s. “I like the park. And the stores. And the tall buildings.”

“That’s good,” said Kurt, slipping an arm around Blaine’s shoulders. He smiled at him, which made Blaine feel warm with happiness as he laid his head on Kurt’s shoulder. “This is going to be your home soon. I want you to like it.”

“I do,” said Blaine. “I really do. Anywhere with you is home.”

“Awww,” Kurt said, and Blaine could feel his smile as he squeezed Blaine a little closer.

“Kurt,” Blaine tipped his head back to look up at him. “Can I get a ice cream?”

“Yes, I think that can be arranged, since you were so patient today when we were getting the loft.” Kurt laughed softly and stood up, reaching for Blaine’s hand. Grinning, Blaine took Daddy’s hand as well and the three of them walked out of the park, looking for a good place to get ice cream. It was a warm summer day, after all, and Blaine had been so patient while they wandered the city.

After they got their ice creams, they walked the neighborhood and stopped by the loft one more time before catching a cab back to their hotel. By the time they got back, Blaine had crashed from his ice cream sugar rush and Kurt practically had to carry him up to the hotel room, but it had been a pretty darn good day for both of them.

…………………………..

Blaine, Santana, and Jack went back to Lima a couple of days later, when Blaine began to tire of wandering around tourist attractions and started to miss his piano. Santana went with him because she figured he needed someone to go back with him, so that he wasn’t too lonely. Kurt and Rachel stayed behind to get to work on the loft.

There was so much work to do in not much time. They immediately got to work painting and hiring people to sort out the walls and the plumbing and getting the kitchen and bathroom together. Blaine’s dad had given them his credit card and told them to do what they needed to make it a nice place for Blaine.

It took a couple of weeks, but Kurt was positive that it was perfect when it was done. They had cleaned the loft from top to bottom, painted it, put in a couple of walls and installed the curtains to keep the loft feel. All of it was to Kurt’s exact styling specifications, of course. After about a week, most of their things arrived, as Kurt’s dad had shipped most of them when he sent back news that they had found a place.

Kurt and Rachel left Santana’s space untouched and kept to their own, and Kurt made sure to leave plenty of room for Blaine’s things as well. Some of Blaine’s stuff arrived as well, but it was just what they wouldn’t be able to carry on the plane. Kurt was surprised when a man from a local music store came by one afternoon with a brand new keyboard. The man explained that Jack had called him and bought it over the phone, asking him to deliver it. They set it up in the living room space, next to the study desk that was Blaine’s as well. There was his own little corner of the space to do what he loved.

It wasn’t his piano, the one that he was used to playing and that he loved so much at home, but there wasn’t really a practical way of getting it to New York and in the loft, and they were just too expensive for anyone to want to buy him another one. But the keyboard was nice, really nice actually. And it never needed to be tuned and would always be there when Blaine needed it.

It was a lot of work, but quickly the end result was so worth it. The dingy, dirty, but open and spacious loft was quickly turned into a place they could easily call home. All that was missing was the last two members of their new little family. Santana would be moving in soon, and a week later Blaine would come. There was no particular reason why they were doing it like that, other than Blaine’s parents wanted as much time with him as they could get before he was moving away to another city in another state.

Kurt thought about going back to Lima to accompany Blaine to his new home, but once he was settled he didn’t really want to leave. He knew Blaine would be coming, so he allowed himself some time to unwind from the stress of renovating the loft and to enjoy the touristy part of New York.

One evening, Kurt got home from a walk through Central Park, to find Rachel home and cooking in the kitchen. He smiled as the whole loft smelled of vegan lasagna, and stopped into his bedroom area to change into some more comfortable clothes before settling into the comfortable slightly used couch he had got for a great price. He imagined Blaine snuggling up beside him on the couch, sinking into the cushions and enjoying a marathon of whatever reality TV show that they were into at the moment.

Kurt let out a sigh as Rachel came in and sat beside him, handing him a bowl with a portion of lasagna in it.

“It’s too quiet without Blaine,” said Rachel, folding her legs under her as she cradled her bowl to her chest. For a moment the only sound was of her fork clanking against the bowl.

“Yeah,” agreed Kurt. “I can’t wait for him to come. A week and a half, still. I wasn’t supposed to stay apart from him this long. I bet he misses me.”

“Oh he does,” said Rachel. “Santana texted me earlier and said he’s dying to talk to you. And apparently by the time he gets here he’ll be so horny he’ll jizz his pants as soon as he sees you. Her words, not mine.”

“Jesus. Does she have any class?” Kurt rolled his eyes and finally started to eat as well.

“Not really, no,” said Rachel, laughing softly.

Just then, Kurt’s phone began to ring from his pocket, and he nearly dropped his lasagna in his haste to pull it out. He saw Blaine’s smiling face light up the screen and hurried to answer the call, grinning already.

“Hey honey,” said Kurt, laughing softly when he heard Blaine gasp softly. Sweet Blaine, who never understood the concept of caller ID.

“ _Kurt! How did you know?_ ” Blaine asked, in the most adorable way.

“My phone told me, silly. How are you? Rachel and I were just talking about how much we miss you,” said Kurt, nodding when Rachel whisper-asked _is that Blaine?_

“ _Good, I good. I miss you so much. Kurt. I wish you were here. Mama helps me pack a little every day, but we don’t get far. She starts crying, which I, is really sad. I don’t think she wants me to go. If you was here it would be easier,_ ” said Blaine.

“I think she’s just having trouble accepting that you’re leaving, since she thought she would be taking care of you your whole life,” Kurt told him. He couldn’t help imagining Blaine just then, laying on his bed, probably on his tummy, his legs crossed at the ankle in the air and his chin propped on one folded arm.

“ _She silly! I have you to, to take, for the rest of my life. She can have a break now. But…but…I miss her too. She always been there,_ ” said Blaine, letting out a little sigh.

“I know. And she’ll always be there if you need her, and she’ll always be able to see you when she wants. Remember how we set you up on Skype? You can talk to her every day if you want. And Cooper, too. You’ll never have to be without your family just because you live here with me.”

“ _Yeah…I know. It not so hard, though. ‘Cause I know I wanna be with you. So that make it easy, I be with you. That it, just you. Always you,_ ” said Blaine, humming softly into the phone.

“What are you humming?” asked Kurt softly as he stood up and headed to his bedroom, needing a little privacy without Rachel sitting right beside him.

“ _Nothing_ ,” said Blaine. Then after a beat he said, “ _Just something I made up. I was, I felt, felt something today. I don’t, can’t say. I played it, though. That’s what I played._ ”

“It’s beautiful. You always play so beautifully,” said Kurt as he laid down on his bed, propping himself up on the pillows

“ _Yeah_ ,” said Blaine dreamily. “ _What you doing?_ ”

“I just laid down on my bed. Our bed. The one that’s too empty without you in it with me,” said Kurt, unable to help himself as his fingertips began to trace lazy patterns on his thigh through the thin material of his pants.

“ _Kuuurrt,_ ” Blaine whined. “ _You, you can’t just, just say that!_ ”

Kurt laughed. “But I did. I did just say that. What are you gonna do about it?”

Blaine gave a little whimper, then lowered his voice a little to a deep, sexy tone which Kurt knew wasn’t intentional.

“ _When I get there, I’m gonna, I’ll take you to bed and do all the things that make you yell my name,_ ” said Blaine.

“Ooh, someone’s got some naughty thoughts today,” Kurt chuckled softly, feeling his cheeks warm up a little bit just thinking about what he was missing by being so far from Blaine.

“ _Someone misses his Kurt. Misses him bad. Certain parts miss him really bad_.”

“I bet they do,” said Kurt. “We’ll see each other soon, though. I promise. Just a few more days and then you’ll be here, and we’ll never have to be apart every again. Can you be patient and wait that long for me?”

Blaine whined again, then said, “ _Yeah, yeah I can. I’ll do that._ ”

“Good boy,” said Kurt. “I love you so much.”

“ _Love you too Kurt_.”

Kurt smiled to himself, then after a few moments of just listening and knowing Blaine was there, he started to tell him about his day and how everything was all ready for him to come and move in. They talked a long time, until Blaine was sleepy and ready to take his bath. Reluctantly, Kurt let him go, missing him almost more than before they had talked.

……………………………

Blaine’s room was in boxes. It was weird, and he kind of already missed his things being where they were supposed to be. The books on his shelves were all boxed up, the ones he wanted to take had already been shipped to the loft. All his clothes were in suitcases, and all that remained were bare shelves and the bed. He would miss his bed. There were a lot of memories in that bed, good memories with Kurt. Like their first time was in that bed.

He smiled nostalgically as he tugged on his sweater. It was time to make the move, and he was more than a little nervous. The house was buzzing with a kind of strange energy that made things feel like the world was just kind of off balance. Blaine guessed his parents must have felt that way, since the balance the three of them had created all his life was shifting as he moved away.

But Blaine’s life was moving forward, and he gladly went along for the ride. Mostly because that ride would lead him right to Kurt.

A knock on his door startled him and he saw his Daddy standing there, giving him a knowing smile.

“Hey, buddy. You ready to load up the car?” asked Daddy, gesturing to Blaine’s suitcases.

“Yeah,” said Blaine with a nod. “Just, I need a, a minute. I think. To say goodbye.

“Alright,” said Daddy. He stepped inside and grabbed a couple of the suitcases and stepped back out. Blaine listened to his footsteps down the stairs before turning back to his room.

He walked around, his fingertips tracing over every surface of all the furniture, like he was committing it all to memory. Soon this would be a distant part of his life once he got used to things in New York, and his brain wasn’t very good at holding onto things unless he tried really hard. He passed the desk and the bookshelves, then his dresser and then the bed. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he looked at the empty top of the nightstand, thinking about how just a few hours ago it had been filled with pictures of him and Kurt. He opened the drawer, just to peek inside, and was glad he did. Inside was a creased and slightly crumpled piece of paper all folded up. Somehow he had missed it when clearing out the drawer the first time.

Opening it up, he smiled as he looked down at the words. Even though if he tried really hard he probably could read it, he didn’t have to. He knew the words by heart, because they were from Kurt.

_Beautiful Blaine,_

_I love you so much._  
 _I miss you every moment we’re apart._  
 _Just remember that I’m always yours and you’re always mine._  


_Love, with all my heart,  
_ _Kurt_

Blaine folded up the paper and tucked it in his pocket, smiling as he stood and walked over to the remaining suitcases. With one final glance around the room, he pushed the remaining three suitcases into the hallway, then shut off the light and closed the door.

He left the suitcases for Daddy, because he was too clumsy to try to wrangle them down the stairs himself. When he reached the bottom of the stairs he found Mama sorting through a small plastic bag that had all his medicine in it.

“Hi,” he said, stepping up beside her. There were four bottles in the bag, and he raised his eyebrows. He didn’t realize he had that many different medications.

“Hey sweetheart,” said Mama, giving him a smile as she closed up the bag and slipped it into her carryon luggage. “I’ve went over this entire house four times, I’m positive we’ve got everything.”

“Thank you Mama,” said Blaine, leaning closer to give her a kiss on the cheek.

She let out a little sigh and offered him a smile that didn’t look all that enthusiastic. He knew it was hard on her to let him go, so he shuffled toward her and gave her a tight hug, which she returned happily.

“Oh, Blaine, I’m gonna miss you so much,” she said, inhaling deeply as she squeezed him tight.

“I miss you too,” said Blaine, pressing his nose in her hair.

They pulled apart after a few more seconds and Mama quickly turned away from him. He heard her sniffling and he felt bad that she was crying.

“Don’t cry,” he said softly, putting a hand on her shoulder to comfort her.

“It’s okay,” she said, giving him a shaky smile and covering his hand with hers. “It’s okay, Blainey.”

He returned the smile, then looked up as Daddy came over to them.

“Well, I’ve got everything all loaded up. We better hit the road if we’re going to make our flight,” Daddy told them. Mama nodded and zipped up her bag, then reached for Blaine’s hand.

Blaine let her lead him toward the door, taking one last look around at everything before he left. Then he followed her outside and as he waited for Daddy to fit the one last carryon bag into the already stuffed car, Blaine turned back to look at his house. It was the house he had lived in since before he was born.

He already missed it so much. He missed his room and the couch in the living room and his piano and his Mama’s awesome cooking and being surprised when the front door opened to reveal Cooper dropping by unexpectedly and feeling like the luckiest man alive as he pulled Kurt up the stairs and into his room to be alone with him. But this wasn’t the end, it was only the beginning. He would be back, and he would be smarter, and stronger, and better when he did.

As he got in the car, he waved goodbye to that chapter of his life. His heart yearned for the city, for his new home, and for his Kurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again so much to everyone. I'll be taking prompts, if you guys have them, for possible one shots in this verse.


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